How to Deal with a Sexless Marriage
No-sex marriages used to be a way to control family size, but now no sex or living in a sexless marriage is an indication of serious issues in a relationship.
Having no sex in marriage is not considered a major issue by many. There are couples who are living in sexless marriages for years and they are happy. But, there are others who face difficulties coping with a sexless marriage. Once sex leaves the marriage, divorce soon follows for many.
This is because dealing with a sexless marriage is extremely painful. Couples who fail to find a solution, look out for ways on how to be happy in a sexless marriage. There are a few others who turn to sexless marriage advice from experts to address their problems.
Now, the main reason for this is an overwhelming feeling of dissatisfaction and a disconnect caused by a lack of intimacy, the sad truth about a sexless marriage. Rather than saying, “That will never happen to us”, be proactive and take the steps to avoid finding yourself in a sexless marriage.
Doing so is really quite easy and will avoid unnecessary problems down the line. All areas of marriage require attention and it is up to you and your spouse to provide that attention.
How to deal with a sexless marriage?
The following tips will help you understand how you can deal with a sexless marriage if divorce is not an end solution to this problem.
1. Be a happy couple
One way to avoid a sexless marriage is maintaining a happy marriage. Most couples in sexless marriages are not thrilled with their situation and it is a fact that happy couples have more sex. Maintaining happiness sounds simple enough, but for those who need more info as to how here it goes.
- First, both must commit to never stop working on the relationship. Little bits of effort here and there on a regular basis does a lot of good.
- Second, spend quality time with one another. Doing so presents the opportunity to touch base and work on the marital bond. For quality time, step it up a notch. Rather than sitting on the couch watching television, take part in an activity that promotes conversation.
- Third, understand the importance of distance. Couples must find the ideal balance of quality time and space. Everyone needs their space because no one wants to spend every waking moment with a person. We all need time to do our own activities. Just enough distance makes the heart grow fonder.
- Lastly, make respect a huge part of the marriage. You will not always get along and will not always agree, but differences are not excuses to be disrespectful.
2. Make the time
Couples also want to make time for intimacy. Of course, sex should be spontaneous, but many live busy lives that require a little scheduling.
Being intimate can still be fun whether it is planned or not. In this case, anticipation is your best ally. Exchanging a few flirty texts or emails throughout the day to build excitement for the evening to come is a great idea. Secret notes work as well.
Keeping the flame lit and burning hotter than ever requires some thought.
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3. Get creative in the bedroom
One of the best ways to improve the sexless marriage is to try different creative positions and role-plays to spice up your bedroom.
A great way to do this is agreeing to do something new and exciting every month or so. Not only does this give couples something to look forward to but it allows both parties to further explore their sexuality with the best person possible, their spouse.
For those who are uncomfortable stepping out of their comfort zone, ease any discomfort by having a conversation beforehand. Doing so will make both parties feel safe.
Everyone has something new they would like to try or a fantasy they want to live out so talk to your spouse to make sure that is something they would feel comfortable doing and then give it a try. Bedroom creativity will make couples see sex in a brand new light and give both individuals a chance to discover new things they like.
When bedroom time is nothing but good times, you will not find yourself in a sexless marriage.
Take Quiz: Sexual Compatibility Quiz
4. Ideas to improve intimacy
Dealing with a sexless marriage is not as difficult as you may think. For couples in sexless marriages or those that notice the fire dying down, there are ways to improve intimacy in the marriage.
1. Extend cuddling time
As we all know, when you cuddle with someone it is very close and intimate therefore cuddling more will improve intimacy by bringing spouses closer. As the day comes to an end and the two of you are in bed or relaxing on the couch, cuddle rather than reading a book or typing away on your computer.
Cuddling releases oxytocin in the brain, which increases happiness and well-being.
2. Listen to music & dance as a couple
Being close and moving in sync improves intimacy dramatically. Whether you are good dancers or not, take it slow and enjoy. Do this spontaneously when the two of you are alone.
This move is bound to create a sweet and sensual memory.
3. Hush and listen
During this exercise, both individuals are given the opportunity to voice their thoughts about almost anything while the other person listens without saying a word. This time can be used to vent about your day, express something that is frustrating in the relationship, or just share what has been on your mind.
Once one person is done, switch.
This is a preventative measure against any sexless marriage because it promotes a stronger emotional connection which makes it easier to connect physically. As your spouse speaks, really listen. He or she may use this time to express what they need from you and you will have a chance to do the same.
Though there are couples for whom living in a sexless marriage is not an option but a compulsion. That can be because of a health problem. But even then, they can use these tips to invigorate romance and intimacy in their relationship. There are ways to achieve sexual satisfaction without exactly indulging in the act.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.
