Don’t Take Your Spouse for Granted! Four Things to Say

Don’t take your spouse for granted! four things to say

When we are wooing someone, we make all the right moves and do all the right things, but somehow, after marrying, we suddenly seem to make all the wrong moves. That is simply because our activities change from attracting a great partner to taking them as a given within everything else that goes on in life. Our other objectives become more important, and we tend to take the relationship for granted. We start to pay less attention to the most important person in our life.


Here are four things to say that will show your spouse that you still care about them and are paying attention to your marriage.

1. What do you want to do?

After spending time with your partner, you get to know what they like and dislike, what they like to do and what they typically avoid. This makes things easy when you want to plan something together, but don’t forget to ask your spouse what they want to do – at least sometimes! This keeps both of your engaged in your activities and lets your partner know you care about their opinion.

2. I can’t wait to be with you!

Longing is what keeps relationships alive. The day you stop longing for someone is the day your relationship only looks good on paper or in theory. When you long for someone, you need to let that person know. It doesn’t take much more than this simple phrase to signal that you want to be with the person you married.

3. Our relationship is the most important one I have on this earth!

After all the dust has settled from your wedding, having kids, and whatever other distractions come in and out of your life, there should be just one person you want to be with forever. The person you married is the most important person in your life, and your marriage must be treasured.

4. Thank you!

Thank you is not just good manners; it also expresses joy, gratitude and appreciation for something. From making you lunch to rearranging your shoe rack, whatever your spouse does should be appreciated vocally. And no, thinking “thank you” doesn’t count – say it out loud!


Debbie McFadden
Counselor, LCSW, MSW, DMin
Dr. Debbie McFadden is a co-owner and Clinical Director at Village Counseling Center and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Dr. McFadden has been in private practice since 1994, working extensively with adults and couples, specializing in women’s issues. She has completed specialized training in critical incident management to work with victims of severe trauma.

More by Debbie McFadden