People who have been married will tell you that it is not a bed of roses. Marriages are a lot of work and effort, and many people also complain of reduced sexual intimacy after marriage. Do you know the sexless marriage effect on husbands?
There are so many tips and advice being given to married couples on how they can sustain that youthful and passionate lovemaking that they used to have before, but what if there’s no sexual activity between you and your wife?
What if you find yourself living in a marriage where sex happens once a year or never? Do you know the drastic sexless marriage effects on husbands in any event that he cannot make love with his wife?
Can a man survive a sexless marriage?
The first question that might come to your mind when you hear sexless marriage effect on husband is that can a sexless marriage survive? The truth is; sexless marriage doesn’t mean that it’s bound to end in divorce or hate but let’s face it; it is quite a big issue for most couples.
Can a marriage survive without intimacy?
It initially depends on the cause why the marriage becomes sexless. Is it a medical condition, or is it a lack of respect and love? Maybe it’s because of past infidelity, or you’re just plain tired.
Some causes can be temporary, but if you think that it’s not – then it’s time to take action. So can a man live in a sexless marriage?
Yes, a man can, but it will be very hard. The effects of sexless marriage on husbands can be very disturbing, to the point where they cannot take it anymore and may want separation from their partner.
To know more about surviving a sexless marriage, watch this video.
15 ways on how a sexless marriage affects a man
Let’s further understand the sexless marriage effect on husbands over time. If the relationship lacks intimacy and sex, you would want to know what to do about a sexless marriage.
You’d be surprised to know how there can be many psychological effects that a sexless marriage can pose to a man. Here are the top no intimacy in marriage consequences:
One of the top sexless marriage effects on husbands is low self-esteem.
As a man, you may not be vocal about it, but you’d start to think, what’s wrong with you? Even if the people around you have no idea about this problem, your actions would already show how your self-esteem has been affected.
Some men may want to find approval and the feeling of being wanted somewhere else, which will worsen the situation.
This could be a common situation where wives would make fun and talk about their sex lives, making the husband feel like they are being shamed and talked about.
If your wife thinks that it’s just casual talk or a fun fact, this may already cause an argument and even resentment. This is one of the most common effects of lack of sex in marriage.
We all know how sex can increase our “happy” hormones, so lack of it will cause both spouses to have less of their happy moods and be more irritated. For some, it can also cause depression and the general feeling of being disconnected in the relationship.
Feeling of failure
How does a sexless marriage affect a man? If you live in a sexless marriage as a man, it may make you think you are a failure.
It will make him feel insecure and can make him feel like he is a failure. Sex is an important part of a relationship. If he cannot have sex with you or feels like you do not want him, it can make him feel like a failure.
Anger and resentment
There are situations where the husband may feel anger and resentment towards his wife, ultimately leading to more fights. This will not solve the problem but would make it worse. In time, the angry and resentful husband may abandon the marriage or will cheat.
You and your husband may drift apart
Intimacy and sex are a major part of the relationship and are also responsible for a better bond, understanding, and love. When there is absolutely no sex in your marriage, you and your husband may find yourselves drifting apart.
A sexually deprived husband may try to find love and intimacy somewhere else as well.
Sex is a major source of stress relief, and it releases happy hormones in the body. Lack of sex can lead to mental health issues, especially when the man feels that he cannot perform well in bed and satisfy his wife’s sexual needs.
This can lead to the psychological effects of sexless marriage. Depression and anxiety can become common consequences of a sexless marriage.
He treats you like a roommate
With sex out of the picture, your relationship with your partner can also change, as a sexless marriage effect on man. He may start to treat you like a roommate and not your wife.
He may go out on his own, spend most of his time with his friends or by himself. You may live under the same roof, but your marriage may be hitting the rocks.
Poor physical health
Sex, its frequency, and quality have a direct link with physical health. Heart health, prostate, and bladder health are significantly affected by sex. A man may start to see a decline in his physical health due to the absence of sex in marriage.
Thoughts of divorce
When sex is absent in the marriage, and it starts to take a toll on the husband, he may consider separation and divorce. Thoughts of divorce may begin to fog his mind, and if it continues like this, he may also act on them.
A sexless marriage can also be the cause of various misunderstandings in your marriage. It can lead to a lot of unsaid things, which can cause problems between a married couple. If you are stuck in a sexless marriage, it is better to talk about the causes and effects of this situation.
Feeling of isolation
A man may start to feel isolated when he is stuck in a sexless marriage. He may not want that kind of intimacy with anyone else in the first place.
Even if he considers that he may not want to cheat on you or even leave you because of this reason, in that case, he may feel very lonely and isolated.
If you and your husband are stuck in a sexless marriage, the chances are that your whole relationship will end up suffering because of it. He may find himself doubting you if you are the one who does not want to have sex with him.
He may think your sexual needs are being met by someone else outside the marriage.
Similarly, because the marriage lacks sex, you may often think that he satisfies his sexual needs from someone outside the marriage. Lack of trust can really wreck a relationship.
When your partner does not feel close to you, they may slowly reduce communication with you. This may not be consciously done, but they may start to withhold information because they do not feel comfortable or think it does not matter to you.
Stunted emotional connection
Lack of intimacy can drastically affect your emotional connection with your partner. If you find your partner being distant, cold, or just uninterested, it is because they are feeling a lack of emotions for you due to marriage without intimacy.
What can a man do to save his sexless marriage?
What should a husband do in a sexless marriage? Should one just give up andask for a divorce? This gives some men a license to have an affair, but we all know that this isn’t the right approach. So, how do we start fixing this problem?
As they say, with open communication – you’d be able to fix almost anything, and this goes for your sexless marriage too. The most crucial sexless marriage advice for men would be to open communication with their partner.
With communication, you’d be able to pinpoint the reason why this has happened. There are sexless marriage effects on wife as well. Let your wife tell her side and then tell yours. Start with the reason and work from there.
Once you have started talking with each other, you’d see where each of you is coming from. As each situation is different, you ought to compromise depending on what you can do to improve your marriage. Both of you should be willing to compromise for change.
Try and try
If you have been in a sexless marriage for a while – jumping to the intense and passionate routine may become a challenge. Don’t get frustrated. This will take a while, and you might even find yourself challenged to get turned on.
It’s okay – give it time and be creative. Try out different techniques such as trying out sex toys, watching porn together, and even do role plays.
Remember your vows
Do you still remember your vows? Review them and think about how you treasure this marriage and your wife.
Don’t give up just yet. Instead of focusing on the bad effects that a sexless marriage has given you – try your best to work on the solution. As long as you are both into change – then it’s possible.
A professional can help you in more ways than you think.
So, don’t hesitate to seek help if you are having a hard time. There can be many ways in which a therapist can assist in fixing your marriage and your sexless marriage.
The bottom line
You might think that the sexless marriage effect on husband is so drastic, and in a way they are, but just like any other marital challenge, as long as the both of you are willing to work on the issue and compromise – then you can expect to get back on track.
A man in sexless marriage may feel stuck, but there are ways to work it out.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.