Marriages are complex and usually have a sexual aspect, where both partners can achieve mutual sexual satisfaction. However, some sexless marriage advice for men is needed when this aspect of marriage is not in a healthy space.
Surviving a sexless marriage phase can be worrisome as it can lead to doubt and insecurities taking hold of the relationship dynamics. And since sex is often an essential aspect of enhancing a couple’s intimacy, a lack of it can upset both partners.
How to deal with sexless marriage as a man might be particularly difficult as a shock to some men as they are more used to thinking about and seeking out sex, as per experts. Therefore, sexless marriage’s effect on men can be significant.
For a lucky few, this never happens. For some, the dry spell comes after many years of pretty much the same sex life as they had before the marriage, with slight adjustments due to the new kind of life they’re now leading.
Read on to learn more about the reasons, effects and other essential aspects of a man in a sexless marriage.
A sexless marriage is a common problem
A man has his ego and pride and having a sexless marriage will mean a lot to him. Sadly, this is more common than all of us think, there can be many cases that we may not even know of and each of these cases has different stories behind them.
Research shows that about 16 percent of the surveyed couples were in sexless marriages. The data showcases that it is a common occurrence in marriages that impacts the health of a couple’s interpersonal relationship.
Sexless marriages are common but they are not healthy. They can lead to a breakdown of communication, stability and happiness between the married couple.
Reasons for a sexless marriage
To solve any problems, we must first address the issue. We need to know why the marriage, once full of intimacy, is now experiencing a sexless relationship.
We already know why this happens most of the time, but we continue to live in denial because we don’t want to face the issues.
Here are some common reasons why you may need sexless marriage advice for men:
1. Conflicts and resentment
Constant arguments may have caused you and your wife to be distant from each other. Physical, verbal and psychological abuse can also cause lead to a deterioration in the sex life of a couple as it leads to a breakdown of trust and intimacy between two people.
Furthermore, sexless marriage advice for men is needed when these conflicts are left unresolved and unaddressed as it allows for resentment to build.
Fixing a sexless marriage becomes essential in this case, as resentment can make the overall relationship harmful and toxic.
Sexless marriage advice for men is required you or your spouse is experiencing a low sex drive. Physical and mental health issues can affect a person’s sex drive, and medical attention can help you find a solution for them.
Some medical conditions such as early menopause, lack of estrogen, childbearing, erectile dysfunction can lead to sexual problems in marriage.
Additionally, certain medicines too can lower one’s sex drive due to specific side effects associated with them.
The passage of time, increased burden of work and/or kids can ultimately cause sexless marriage. These things take up time and may make people complacent about trying to spice up sexless marriage.
Some couples can grow out of love with each other as time goes on, leading to a need to seek sexless marriage advice for men. They may no longer be attracted to their partner at a particular point or completely.
Can men live in a sexless marriage
Wіth nо іntіmасу in marriage оr whаt іѕ оftеn rеfеrrеd tо аѕ а sexless marriage, уоu lіvе іn а rеlаtіоnѕhір wіth ѕоmеоnе whо уоu lоvе аnd who mау аlѕо lоvе уоu bасk but thе рhуѕісаl іntіmасу hаѕ соmрlеtеlу gоnе.
Research shows that marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction go hand-in-hand for couples.
Sоmе may assume that ѕеx іѕ nоt еvеrуthіng аnd will come up with various excuses to undermine the lack of sex in the marriage. They may cite changing hоrmоnеѕ, the difference in the mature phases of life and various other things.
You may want to look up sexless marriage advice for men to avoid any of the following cоnѕеquеnсеѕ:
Men or women whо аrе соnѕtаntlу feel rејесtеd by their ѕроuѕе or thеіr lоvеr may nоt be іn а gооd mеntаl ѕtаtе. Thіѕ іѕ humiliating and ѕtrеѕѕful аnd оftеn lеаdѕ tо stress, dерrеѕѕіоn and anxiety.
A marriage that lacks sex can make you feel that your partner is not attracted to you anymore, thus affecting your self-esteem. It can lead the person to feel more insecure, have an unhealthy body іmаgе which can lеаd tо mаnу unhеаlthу hаbіtѕ аnd thоughtѕ.
Mоѕt huѕbаndѕ аnd wіvеѕ dо nоt gо оut looking for аnоthеr раrtnеr but whеn ѕеxuаl fruѕtrаtіоn аnd a ѕеnѕе of not being wаntеd in the relationship, cheating may happen. Thіѕ оftеn mаkеѕ thе сhеаtеr fееl vеrу guіltу аnd mаkеѕ mаttеrѕ wоrѕе.
In thе еnd nоt mаnу sexless rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ саn lаѕt аnd оnе ѕееkѕ а dіvоrсе nоt bесаuѕе thеу dо nоt lоvе thеіr раrtnеr but bесаuѕе thе marriage іѕ not funсtіоnіng wіthоut рhуѕісаl іntіmасу.
How to survive a sexless marriage as a man
Marriage changes a lot over time for both men and women, but sexless marriage advice for men starts with having a positive attitude and the desire to work through this problem.
Here are some other productive ways that you can learn how to have more sex in marriage:
1. Talk about the problem
The most crucial sexless marriage advice for men is addressing the issue and working on it together. Remember, no one will fix the marriage but the two of you.
If you find that your wife is not interested in you, has lost respect or is unwilling to discuss and work with you with this matter, ask her to come with you and seek professional help.
Before any drastic changes, it’s just right that you and your wife try all the best efforts to fix the marriage and asking professional help is something that you can opt to.
If you are trying to learn how to fix a sexless marriage, don’t be ashamed of asking a therapist for help, as they won’t judge you or your situation. They can be your sexless marriage support.
To learn how to discuss issues with your partner without getting into a fight, watch this video:
2. Ignore myths about marital sex
It’s difficult enough that you have been living in a sexless marriage. It is now essential not to put the additional burden of believing in myths about married people’s sexual lives.
Figure out what is good for your relationship and the sex lives of you and your partner. Every couple is ultimately different and comparison only causes more anguish.
A good sexless relationship advice for men is to keep in mind that sexlessness is not unavoidably linked to extramarital affairs. Even though sometimes it can shift a man’s attention to other women.
Also, remember, a sexless marriage is not a signal of love being gone. In essence, such a situation results from many different causes and their interaction, which sets the stage for the second piece of sexless marriage advice for men.
3. Get to the root cause
For a man in a sexless marriage, it is essential to get to the root of the problem. But do it gently and with care and compassion.
It is easy to get frustrated by the tension of surviving a sexless marriage and by the sheer fact that you’re not satisfied in that area. Still, the additional pressure of lashing out or blaming your partner would be like pouring wet cement on it; you’d never move on any further again.
So, talk to your partner, and try to express your feelings by having empathy for them at the same time. Give them space to say whatever they think without holding onto any fear that it would hurt or infuriate them.
4. Decide what you need to do
Let’s not ignore the pink elephant in the room – the ideas about an affair or a divorce most probably came to your mind at one point or the other. And this is only natural when the situation is really bad.
Regardless of any other aspect of your marriage, not having sex with your partner will put those ideas into your head. And this is where you need to address them with cold rationality and consider everything, both positives and negatives.
Make a rational decision before making any moves that are hard to mend. Is not having sex a deal-breaker for you? Is there something you still might do about it? Did you consider every option? What are the other aspects of your marriage?
Ask yourself pertinent questions when you learn how to deal with a sexless marriage as a man.
Talk to your spouse, and remember, not having sex right now does not mean you’re doomed forever. If you make a conscious and informed effort, the situation can change.
Will men in sexless marriages have affairs
The fact is, you can only save your marriage if you work together. Sexless marriage advice for men may include different approaches but there’s one thing for sure: An affair or infidelity will only make things worse!
No intimacy in marriage sadly includes the temptation of finding someone else. This is especially true when one or both of you are not ready to resolve or even address the issue.
Not having sex may lead to immense frustration, anger, and confusion as a married man. However, if you still love your spouse, betraying their trust will damage a relationship that is special to you.
The fact that many men face this problem means that they are in a relationship that they don’t want to give up on.
If you think that you might end up cheating, don’t entertain the thought. Remind yourself that cheating will not solve any problem. It will only make things even harder for you and your relationship.
Think of your family and marriage; think of this as a trial that you can still overcome. A mistake of cheating will not fix the underlying problem but would just make it worse.
When you are thinking about what a husband should do in a sexless marriage, these tips and pieces of advice should come in handy when it comes to saving your marriage and infusing it with a renewed spark and intimacy.
Resorting to an affair outside marriage or distancing yourself from your spouse will only lead to heartburn and a series of complications.
Sexless marriage advice for men can help avert any damage that could spell doom for your marriage.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.