Marriage is a lifelong promise of commitment between a man and a woman to live together, joyfully, peacefully and respectfully till death parts them. Two people who want to make their relationship permanent, official and public legally to live the rest of their lives together in harmony. Marriages that are meant to be everlasting and imperishable have recently been falling to a vice called divorce.
People have stopped seeing the sanctity, purity and eternity of marriage. To them their egos are bigger than their vows, their problems are bigger than their commitment to each other, and their personal interests are bigger than their mutual interests and happiness.
They strive to achieve own independence and happiness, but they forget that marriage is a two-tier relationship which requires compromise and loyalty from both ends in order to be a success.
Problems that lead to divorce
Listed below are a few of the numerous problems that life partners encounter that if left unresolved can ultimately result in divorce and the couple splitting for good:
- Extramarital affairs
- Sexual Differences
- Differences in Religion, Values and/or beliefs
- Lack of intimacy/ Boredom
- Traumatic Experiences
These are all a few of the reasons that work alone or in combination with one or more other reasons to put an end to a marriage.
Of all the problems listed above, the one under the lens for inspection and speculation will be sexual differences. Given marriage is a concoction of many emotions, feelings, wants and needs but it will not be farfetched to claim that intimacy and sex drive a marriage and works in keeping it interesting.
Can a marriage last without sex?
In many religions, it is impermissible to engage in sexual relationships without or outside of marriage. It is highly frowned upon in most societies and condemned in others. Marriage is a contract that permits you to engage in intimate activities with your partners without any obstruction or shaming. There are people who want to get married to explore that territory and develop a bond with their partner on the emotional, physical and psychological level.
Sexless marriages are more common than you think
On the other hand, sexless marriages are not necessarily unheard of. In fact, it will not be too astonishing for you to hear that there are relationships that go on for decades and so on and on without sexual intercourse or any form of sexual intimacies. There are countless cases where the marriage is plagued by a disease or condition of one of the partners that makes establishing sexual intimacies impossible.
In some cases, after having children, either one or both partners don’t deem sex important because the basic goal of producing offsprings has been achieved. Most of these cases in which marriages last, however, are ones where communication is established and maintained.
There is an understanding regarding the needs and wants of both partners who unanimously agree to live together without sleeping together and are at peace with that arrangement.
Sexlessness due to the sexual difference is a cause for concern
The problems arise where one of the partners loses their sex drive for whatever reason and shove the problem under a rug hoping the other will get a hint. This leads to confusion, distress, embarrassment, and abandonment by that other partner.
They are no longer sure if the partner is upset with them, bored of them, is having an affair, losing their interest, etc. They are left sitting there guessing what exactly went wrong and traced back their footsteps to determine at what point along the way did they lost their partner.
Events that occur in sexless marriage
Following is the list of things that can possibly happen, in any order, when marriage becomes more of living together situation and less of an intimate relationship.
- Distance is formed
- Feelings of resentment are fostered
- Reduces marriage to roommate status
- Makes infidelity arguably acceptable
- Sets a bad example for children
- Leads to the formation of insecurities in one of the partners
- Decisions to split
Sexless marriage may work for some and may not for others
It is difficult to determine whether or not a marriage can truly survive without sex. It is a truly subjective argument where a sexless marriage may work out for some and be a complete disaster for others. It is key to keep open communication with your partner though because the decision cannot be solely taken by one of the partners without the knowledge of the other.
Despite the love, understanding, commitment and honestly being important in a relationship, there is no arguing that sex in itself plays an integral role as well without with the aforementioned factors may diminish over time. It is important to both partners to be physically compatible and satisfied to fuel their relationship. However, a marriage cannot survive only on sex either.
A successful and happy marriage requires a combination of efforts to make it work and any of the factors when missing leads to a void formation which definitely has adverse effects on the relationship of the partners.