When a couple has been married for quite some time, they may experience some changes in their relationship. They may get too busy with their work and other daily responsibilities and that may lead the other partner to feel neglected. When a couple does not get to spend enough quality time together, then intimacy issues will surely arise.
It is important in a marriage, for the couple to feel close to each other physically and emotionally. They may find themselves drifting apart if they do not resolve their intimacy issues quickly.
Here are some ways on how to deal with this marital problem.
Recognize the signs of intimacy issues
Before you could solve the problem, you have to first recognize that it’s there. Married couples should learn to recognize the signs of intimacy issues and they should try to find out why this is happening in their relationship. If you find yourself sexually frustrated or if you don’t feel confident about being intimate with your spouse, then there surely is a problem that needs to be fixed.
Understand each other’s expectations
Physical intimacy issues in marriage happen when couples have different expectations of each other. Sometimes, someone in the relationship may want sex more than the other. When a physical need is not met, feelings of frustration and neglect will follow. Most of the time, the husband and the wife may have different ideas of what intimacy is, and because of this, they do not know how to satisfy each other’s needs. Communication is the key to understanding each other’s expectations and needs. Couple’s should talk about what they want and each one should be willing to compromise so they both will be physically satisfied.
Talk about your concerns
It is important in every relationship for couples to be able to talk about their concerns. They should be open about anything that is bothering them and preventing them from being physically close to their spouse. Couples should be able to talk about their sexual experiences in the past. They should also be open about their insecurities and fears, that cause inhibitions about intimacy. Issues about trust and commitment should also be discussed in every relationship, so the spouse will know how to make him or her feel more secure and loved.
Recognize the outside factors
Intimacy issues may also come from factors outside your marriage. When one or both from the couple is distracted by problems at work or by issues from people in their extended family, then intimacy could be greatly affected. When a couple is stressed out about other things, being intimate will be the last thing on their mind. No one can really prevent problems from happening. But what you can do is to recognize that these problems are distracting you from being close to your spouse. Both husband and wife should learn to take things one at a time and be able to live in the present. Learn to set your problems aside and take time to focus your attention and love to your partner whenever you get the chance to be alone.
Consider medical issues
Medical issues could also be the culprit for intimacy issues in a marriage. A person’s health can greatly affect sexual desire and performance. For instance, if a man has erectile dysfunction, it will affect his confidence in bed. He will avoid being intimate with his wife so she will not notice the problem. On the other hand, a woman may also lack sexual desire due to a hormonal imbalance and having sex with her husband can become more of a painful chore than a pleasurable experience. If you discover these issues affecting your sex life, you should seek help and find the cure for these medical conditions.
Addressing emotional baggage
Lastly, couples should be able to share about their emotional pains and sufferings with their spouse. If someone in the relationship feels even a tinge of anger or resentment for his or her partner, then the couple has something that is tearing them apart. Couples should work together on finding ways on how to heal emotional scars and resolve any issue that is making them see their spouse as more of an enemy than a lover.
Intimacy issues in a marriage should never be ignored. When physical needs are not met, couples are more prone to infidelity, or worse falling out of love. Once you realize you have these issues in your relationship, take the steps to improve your intimacy with your spouse.