It’s not something that you ever want to have to face as a married couple, but there may come a time when there may be sexual problems in marriage. You want to work together to figure out what is going on. You want to try to pinpoint what the biggest problem areas are.
At the very least having the awareness and the desire to try to fix any sex problems in marriage is the biggest and most important step. You can truly fix these sex issues in marriage, but only if you are both committed to doing this and making this area of your relationship work.
You want to try to find your way to each other and therefore let go of all of the outside distractions. It may be that you are experiencing these issues because you’re not communicating anymore, and therefore you are no longer aligned with one another.
You may have experienced some sort of trauma in the marriage and therefore need to talk this through. At this point, you may find marriage counseling may work best to help you through this type of situation.
If you are facing sexual boredom in marriage or wondering how to make your sex life more exciting then here are some thoughts on how to fix sexual problems in marriage.
Start talking again and enjoying intimacy in a variety of different ways, for this can make a huge difference in things. Though the marital sex problems may seem overwhelming, take it one step at a time and know that these sex issues in relationship are often easier to fix than you might think.
You can work together and be happy together, and if you are both truly dedicated you can alleviate any sexual problems in marriage that may arise over time.
Causes and cures
From lack of will to inability to have sex, fixing the sexual problems in marriage starts with identifying what is causing the lack of intimacy in a relationship. Tackling the inadequacies of your sexual life might seem intimidating but the results are way more fruitful than the embarrassment you might feel when fixing them.
Here are some of the causes of sexual problems in marriage and ways to address and tackle them:
1. Low frequency of sex
A low frequency of sexual intimacy in a relationship can be very damaging to a marriage, leading to one of the partners feeling disgruntled or full of resentment. The reasons that affected the frequency of love making in a relationship can be due to several different factors.
What to do
- Long working hours or a sense of fatigue can leave a person too exhausted to engage in sexual intimacy with their partner. If your partner is sleep deprived or is facing intense stress, it can tremendously affect their will to participate in some steaming hot coitus.
If you are the one feeling too exhausted to have sex with your partner then, try and reduce the level of stress in your life. Spend less time on your phone and laptop and go to bed early. Stick to a schedule and stay away from distractions especially when you are spending time with your partner.
Conversely if your spouse is always tired and exhausted, then voice your concerns and help them to reduce their level of stress.
- The degree to which you know your spouse when you are married to someone for a long time eliminates the element of surprise in your sex life. When you or your spouse know what to expect in bed then the excitement associated with sexual intimacy takes a gradual dip.
Breaking this mundane sex routine requires couples to engage in sexual banter, teasing, foreplay, role play and even using toys to spice things up.
- A lower sex drive or different sex drive among partners is another reason that reduces frequency of sex in a marriage. Sex would not be a priority for a person with a lower sex drive and if not resolved can create a huge gap between a couple.
Seek professional help, alter your diet, enhance your body and look, and communicate with your partner.
2. Inability to reach orgasm
The bodies of men and women respond differently when it comes to physical intimacy. Men are usually more easily pleased than women. Achieving an orgasm during sex is comparatively much easier for men then women.
Even if you are frequently engaging in sexual activities with your spouse but are unable to achieve an orgasm. it can leave you frustrated and even embarrassed at times. Moreover, the inability of couples to discuss such matters freely just adds fuel to the fire.
This eventually leads to one of the partners losing interest in sex, which deprives the relationship of a much needed act of closeness.
What to do
Women respond well to certain stimuli which when performed by their mate can help them achieve orgasm. Orgasm for women is not all about penetration, you need to understand how your wife’s body responds when engaging in sex.
Foreplay, oral sex, and even adding toys can help you to nudge your women to the point of orgasm and bring back the lost excitement in your sex life.
As for men, the best thing to do to make them orgasm are:
- taking off the pressure to let them know that all they have to do is enjoy the experience and forget about performing
- building up intense pressure by teasing him a lot during foreplay
- surprising him with a quickie
- stimulating the 3 Ps – Penis, Prostate and the Perineum
3. Erectile dysfunction
Another common issue that affects the sexual life of a couple is erectile dysfunction in men. Erectile dysfunction is the inability of a man to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sex.
Erectile dysfunction can make men feel very embarrassed and in turn can affect their confidence, and will to participate in the relationship. A man can suffer from erectile dysfunction from a varied number of physical and psychological issues, such as:
- physical causes
- high cholesterol
- high blood pressure
- heart diseases
- tobacco use
- sleep disorder
- psychological causes
- high levels of stress
- other mental health conditions
What to do
The first step towards prevention or rehabilitation from erectile dysfunction is to consult your doctor. Go in for regular medical checkups and screening tests.
Exercise regularly (try kegels), find ways to reduce stress and consult your doctor on ways to control your diabetes and cholesterol. Similarly, consult an appropriate doctor to manage your anxiety and other mental health problems.
Go back to the basics
Something made you fall in love with one another, and now it’s time to get back to that stage. Though it may feel as if you are no longer interested or attracted to each other, many times these sex problems in relationships have absolutely nothing to do with that at all.
It may be much more a matter of finding your way back to one another or working together on anything that has gone wrong in the marriage overall.
A healthy sex life means that there are two people who are truly happy with one another, and it’s time to get back to that state that you once enjoyed.
Whether you are facing problems related to sex in a new relationship or sexual problems in marriage have cropped up after several years of being together, the tips mentioned in this article can be very useful for you.
But remember that knowing how to fix sex problems in a relationship or how to fix intimacy problems in a marriage requires a couple to maintain an honest and open communication channel with each other.