30 Signs Your Marriage Is Over

The idea of being with someone for the rest of your life sounds beautiful. However, the reality is that staying married, fulfilling that commitment to your spouse of living together, and sharing your life with another person is not a bed of roses.

Marriages are riddled with ups and downs. It takes a lot of work and effort from both partners to maintain a long-lasting and healthy marriage. However, there may come the point where you may think and look for signs your marriage is over.

Unfortunately, for some marriages, no amount of effort is enough to save that marriage. Maybe it’s time to truly call it quits. However, this is not an easy decision to make.

There are some subtle but essential signs your marriage is over. To learn about these signs and how to accept the reality that your marriage is falling apart, continue reading.

Also Try: Signs Your Marriage Is Over Quiz

How to figure out if your marriage is truly over?

So, how to know when it’s time to divorce? 

This is a highly complex question and a tough situation to be in. If you’re in this situation, just try and understand that you will navigate your way through this. It may be difficult, but you can get through.

This realization varies from person to person. Knowing when to give up on marriage consists of specific experiences that you go through gradually.

Think about the time when you had fallen in love with your present spouse. There were things about them that you found cute and attractive. Then there’d be things that annoyed you a little. You’d ignore those little things because you loved each other.

But slowly, over the years, the things that you liked and disliked about your partner all start to annoy you. Everything feels negative. It may feel like the entire narrative of your marriage is changing into something negative.

Add to this a complete lack of attraction. Therapy sessions haven’t helped much, and you both are badly coping with basic sexual incompatibility. Making love now seems like one of the toughest chores.

And to top it all, there’s infidelity! Perhaps you have noticed your husband’s inclination towards other women or have red-handedly caught him cheating. This spoils the emotional bond that you share, let alone physical intimacy. 

This may be a time when you know your marriage is over. It may be time to move on.

Related Reading: Signs a Marriage Cannot Be Saved

The 30 Signs that indicate that your marriage is over

Although the basic premise of troubled marriage on the brink of divorce has been discussed in the previous section, here are some signs your marriage is over.

Consider the following 30 signs your marriage will end in divorce: 

1. If you’re living your life as if you’re single and not married

If you and your husband are going back to the ways of your single life regularly like hanging out in bars, nightclubs, etc., without each other, it may be one of the signs your marriage is over.

According to Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, a licensed clinical social worker:

In a healthy marriage, spouses should be partners, but when one or both start living as if they’re single again, this is a sign that the marriage is no longer a priority.

2. When you think about the future, you do not see your spouse in it

If you sit and visualize how your life will be in a decade or two and you don’t see your spouse in your future, it may be a sign that your marriage may be falling apart.

3. Making important financial decisions without discussing them with your spouse

Money is a big deal. Financial planning, taking important decisions together is a big part of staying in a committed relationship. 

If you find yourself making these big financial decisions without involving your partner in any way at all, your marriage may be in trouble.

4. You’re involved in an emotional affair

If you have interactions with someone else over calls, face-to-face, or via texts very often, and you don’t think it would be appropriate if your spouse saw these conversations, you’re probably having an emotional affair. 

Jennifer Schulz, LCSW, further shares:

Sometimes, an emotional affair can be even worse for a marriage than a physical affair because there is an emotional bond involved.

This is a sign that your marriage is over.

Related Reading: Why Are Emotional Affairs So Dangerous?

5. The idea of your spouse with someone else does not hurt your feelings

There’s a big difference between loving your husband or wife and being in love with them. 

If you’re not in love with your spouse anymore and just feel like you care about that person and you want them to be happy, this is one of the signs your marriage is over.

You want them to be content, safe, and loved, but you don’t see yourself with your spouse.

6. The physical intimacy is practically non-existent

Let’s first acknowledge that sex isn’t the end-all-be-all of a marriage. However, it is essential. 

If it’s been several months or even years without any sexual activity between you and your spouse, this is a tell-tale sign that your marriage is over.

Related Reading: Lack of Intimacy: Living in a Sexless Marriage

7. You and your spouse do not respect each other’s opinions about having children

You may not want to have kids while your spouse wants to have children, or vice-versa. 

Well, opinion varies from person to person. You may discuss it with your spouse, and if you both respect each other’s opinions and work out something, the situation is under control.

But if the situation becomes so uncontrollable that it always turns into a big fight over having or not having kids rather than both of you working out a midway, it’s time to take a call.

Also Try: Are You Ready To Have Children Quiz

8. You don’t feel like spending any time with your spouse

Have you been avoiding most opportunities to spend any alone time with your wife or husband? 

It may mean that you don’t enjoy their company anymore.

Related Reading: Making Time for You And Your Spouse

9. You don’t feel invested in working on your marriage

If you or your partner feels like there’s no future to your marriage and you’re not willing to fix your marriage, it may be one of the signs that a divorce or separation is on the cards.

10. There is no compromise

Compromise from both ends and the willingness to reach a middle ground through negotiations is essential in making a marriage work. 

If this isn’t happening, it may be time to consider that your marriage is ending.

Related Reading: Compromises in a Relationship Needed for a Healthy Marriage

11. Therapy isn’t working out for you and your spouse

Say you’ve thought about going for couple’s therapy or marriage counseling. Still, either of you don’t feel like going for therapy, or you feel like therapy isn’t helping, your marriage may be at a very rocky stage.

12. If you’re upset with your spouse, divorce pops into your mind

Does the thought of legally separating from your partner keep popping in your mind or get brought up when you two argue? 

Then this is another one of the signs your marriage is over.

Related Reading: Things to Understand When Thinking About Divorce

13. You don’t feel like listening to what’s bothering your spouse

Either or both partners don’t feel concerned or interested to listen to their partner’s problems– does this happen to you? This is yet another sign of a marriage that is falling apart. 

14. Your spouse is stressing you out

When a spouse feels drained and mentally exhausted or stressed because of their partner, it is an indication that the marriage may be broken.

15. There’s no friendship between you and your spouse

The basis of a healthy marriage is good emotional intimacy through a close friendship. A lack of emotional intimacy is a big sign that the marriage is working out.

Related Reading: Secrets to Becoming Your Spouse's Best Friend

16. You are no longer feeling like yourself anymore

If you or your spouse won’t feel like you know yourselves anymore, what you stand for, your beliefs and values aren’t explicit. This is a significant personality crisis. 

17. There’s been one or more instances of domestic violence

This is one of the most evident signs a marriage is ending. Physical abuse is a huge red flag in any marriage. 

Abuse of any form is unacceptable, and if a spouse decides to harm their partner intentionally, it may be time to walk out.

Related Reading: Most Common Causes of Domestic Violence in Relationship

18. You both are having more frequent arguments and fights

Some disagreements are normal in any marriage. 

However, if the conflicts aren’t being solved healthily and there are frequent explosive arguments taking place, there are many issues in the marriage.

Related Reading:  Tips to Avoid Ugly Arguments in a Relationship

19. An evident lack of respect for each other in the relationship

Mutual respect is imperative for a marriage to work out. 

If you feel like you can’t respect your partner’s boundaries or respect your partner in general, this may be another one of the signs your marriage is over.

20. You may be dealing with a lot of self-doubts

If you’re no longer a priority to your partner or he doesn’t value you anymore, you may be riddled with self-doubt. This could be a clear sign that your marriage needs extra care. 

If you are not willing or convinced to work through your marriage, then it could be a sign that it is over.

21. You’re feeling depressed

If either or both of you are not only feeling distant from each other but your relatives or friends too, you don’t enjoy the things you used to enjoy, you may be feeling worthless, hopeless, or helpless. They’re all signs of depression.

Also Try: Signs You Are in Depression Quiz

22. You don’t want to come home

Another one of the big signs your marriage is over is when the idea of coming home doesn’t seem appealing to the spouses. Home is ideally your comfort zone. 

So, if it doesn’t feel pleasant anymore, it’s another sign.

23. There is an imbalance in decision-making, chores, and work

This issue is based on a lack of understanding, empathy, and respect for another. Inequality of this sort can lead to a lot of resentment towards one another.

24. Incompatible values and temperament

For a long-lasting and happy marriage, compatibility between partners in core values, beliefs, morals, and temperament is essential. If this isn’t there, divorce might be a possibility.

25. Secrets come out

If you or your partner have been hiding some major secrets from each other and that finally comes out (e.g., your wife loves someone else, your partner is bisexual, etc.), it might be time to move on.

Related Reading: What or How Much Should You Hide from Your Spouse

26. You feel better when your spouse is not with you

This is especially relevant for people who feel distressed or drained by their partners. 

If you feel like yourself and feel content at all times when your spouse isn’t present, this is another one of the signs your marriage is over.

27. You don’t share anything anymore

This point goes hand-in-hand with the lack of emotional intimacy. 

Marriage is about sharing your life with another person. If the desire to share information or things with each other is wiped out, that marriage may be over.

Related Reading: How to Share Your Feelings With Your Spouse

28. There’s a negativity overload

Suppose your overall perception of your partner and the marriage generally takes a turn for the worse, and you only have negative thoughts and feelings about the relationship. 

In that case, this is another one of the tell-tale signs your marriage is over.

Here’s a video you must watch if you find there’s an overflow of negative thoughts in your relationship:

29. You want to cheat on your spouse

If you keep thinking about being single and looking for a new romantic partner, this is one of the significant signs your marriage is over.

Related Reading: Why Do People Cheat on People They Love 

30. There’s a lot of contempt towards each other

Contempt comes from a place of resentment. 

If there is a lot of hatred between husband and wife, it may be time to call it quits.

Related Reading: Signs That Your Marriage Is In Trouble

8 Questions to ask yourself to figure out if your marriage is over

How do you know when your marriage is over? 

We have already discussed the essential yet subtle signs your marriage is over. Now let’s take a look at some crucial questions you can ask yourself to verify this.

To answer the question of when is it time to leave a marriage, these are some of the questions you can consider asking yourself:

1. Does almost every interaction and every situation, whether big or small, always lead to an explosive argument between you and your spouse?          
2. Do you feel like it’s impossible to respect your husband and vice-versa, and there’s no way to revive that respect for each other?
3. Do you think that you and your husband aren’t sexually compatible at all?
4. Is there no way for you two to bring back your negotiation skills to resolve conflicts?
5. Are you and your partner no longer enabling each other to grow as individuals?
6. Do either or both of you keep bringing up the past (specifically hurtful things from the past?)      
7. Have your values, beliefs, morals, lifestyle, and goals become completely different from each other?
8. Do you feel indifferent about each other?   

These questions are hard-hitting ones. However, if you’ve responded with a yes to most of these questions, these are the signs your marriage is over.  

Related Reading: Signs Your Relationship Is Falling Apart

How to accept that your marriage is over?

Now let’s take a look at what to do when your marriage is failing. A broken marriage is a complicated reality to come to terms with. You may be thinking about how to accept that your marriage is over.       

To begin with, please be kind to yourself. This was not an easy decision to take. Allow yourself to feel hurt and process the pain. Grieving is important.

You must understand that everything in life happens for a reason. In all probability, the purpose of your union with your spouse has ended. Therefore, it may be time to move on.

Try to be mindful of the emotions you feel about the separation. Accept them. Love yourself. Be kind to all that you both have been through. It may be challenging right now, but it will get better with time.

True, you may need mental support to cope with this significant change in your life. There are many online support groups where you can discuss with like-minded individuals and also get the right advice for moving on. 

Professional therapists are also there to help you come out of depression, anxiety, and other feelings associated with a failed marriage. They will guide you towards accepting your situation in a positive light and bringing out the best in you.

Conclusion

These 30 signs will help you figure out the status of your marriage. Accepting and acknowledging the signs your marriage is over may be a difficult journey. Be brave and take care of yourself. 

And if you are sure that IT IS OVER, do not hesitate to take the next step.