Physical intimacy is indispensable in a long term relationship but it’s also the root cause of one of the most common marriage problems of all times, sexual problems. Sexual problems can occur in a relationship for several reasons paving way for subsequently more marriage problems.
The most common sexual problem within a marriage is a loss of libido. A lot of people are under the impression that only women experience issues with libido, but men also experience the same.
In other instances, sexual problems can be due to the sexual preferences of a spouse. One person in the relationship may prefer different sexual things than the other spouse which can make the other spouse uncomfortable.
3. Values and beliefs
Certainly, there will be differences and disagreements within a marriage, but some differences are too major to ignore, such as core values and beliefs. One spouse may have one religion and the other may have a different belief.
This may give rise to an emotional chasm among other common marriage problems.
As you may have guessed, this could cause major trouble down the line when one spouse gets tired of doing things separately, such as going to different places of worship.
Such marriage problems are extremely common in cross-cultural marriages. Other differences include core values.
These include the way children are reared and the things they were taught during their childhood, such as the definition of right and wrong.
Since everyone does not grow up with the same belief systems, morals, and goals, there is a lot of room for debate and conflict within the relationship.
Also watch: Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman
4. Life stages
Many people do not consider their life stages when it comes to a relationship.
In some instances, marriage issues occur simply because both spouses have outgrown each other and want more out of life from someone else.
This is a common issue among married couples who have a significant age gap whether is it an older man and younger woman or older woman and younger man.
Personalities change with time and couples might not remain as compatible as they once might have been. Couples with an age difference, who are in different phases of life face this common marriage problem.
One spouse may not know or understand how to function without the other due to them being in the hospital or on bed rest. In other situations, one spouse may require around-the-clock care, causing them to be solely dependent on the other spouse.
Sometimes, the pressure is too great and the responsibility is too much to deal with, so the relationship spirals downward until it comes to a complete end. Watch this video talking about the different reasons why a marriage can fall apart:
Stress is a common marriage problem that most couples will face at least once within their relationship. Stress within a relationship can be caused by many different situations and instances, including financial, family, mental, and illness.
Financial problems can stem from a spouse losing their job or being demoted at their job. Stress from family can include children, problems with their family, or the spouse’s family. Stress is triggered by many different things.
How stress is managed and handled could create more stress.
Boredom is an underrated but serious marital problem.
With time some spouses become bored with their relationship. They may get tired of the things that occur within the relationship. In this situation, it comes down to being bored with the relationship because it has become predictable. A couple may do the same thing every day for many years without change or without a spark.
A spark usually consists of doing spontaneous things from time to time. If a relationship lacks spontaneous activities, there is good chance boredom will become a problem.
Jealousy is another common marriage problem that causes a marriage to turn sour. If you have an overly jealous partner, being with them and around them can become a challenge.
Jealousy is good for any relationship to an extent, as long as it is not a person being overly jealous. Such individuals will be overbearing: they may question who you are talking to on the phone, why you are talking to them, how you know them and how long you have known them, etc.
Having a spouse that is overly jealous can put a strain on the relationship; a lot of stress will eventually end such a relationship.
9. Trying to change each other
This common relationship problem occurs when couples overstep their partner’s personal boundaries in an attempt to mold their beliefs.
It does happen that such disregard for your partner’s boundaries might happen by mistake; the extent of retaliation from the spouse that is being attacked is usually pacified in time.
10. Communication problems
Lack of communication is one of the most common problems in marriage.
Communication encompasses both verbal and non-verbal cues, which is why even if you have known someone for a long period of time, a slight change in the facial expression or any other form of body language can be perceived incorrectly.
Men and women communicate very differently and can fall in a habitat of improper communication, and if such relationship issues are allowed to fester in a marriage, then the sanctity of marriage is definitely at stake.
Healthy communication is the foundation for success in marriage.
11. Lack of attention
Humans are social creatures and are avid seekers of attention from others around them, especially those who are closest to them.
Every marriage overtime suffers a common relationship problem ‘lack of attention’ where a couple, intentionally or unintentionally, redirects their attention to other aspects of their lives.
This changes the chemistry of marriage, which instigates one or the spouse to act out and overreact. This problem in marriage, if not dealt with appropriately, can then spiral out of control.
12. Financial issues
Nothing can break a marriage faster than money. No matter if you are opening a joint account or handling your finances separately, you are bound to encounter financial problems in your marriage. It is important to openly discuss any financial issues together as a couple.
13. Lack of appreciation
A lack of gratitude, recognition, and acknowledgment of your spouse’s contribution to your relationship is a common marriage problem.
Your inability to appreciate your spouse can be detrimental to your relationship.
With a rapid increase in our interaction and obsession with technology and social platforms, we are moving further away from healthy face-to-face communication.
We are losing ourselves in a virtual world and forgetting to love other people and things around us. Such fixation has quickly become a common marriage problem.
15. Trust issues
Now, this common marriage trouble can rot your marriage from the inside, leaving no chance of restoring your relationship.
The idea of trust in a marriage is still very conventional and, at times, puts too much strain on a marriage when the doubt starts to seep into a relationship.
16. Selfish behavior
Even though selfishness can be easily dealt with by making minor changes in your attitude towards your spouse, it is still considered as a very common marriage problem.
17. Anger issues
Losing your temper, shouting or screaming in rage, and causing physical harm to yourself or your spouse is sadly a common marriage problem.
With increasing stress due to internal and external factors and in a fit of rage, we might be unable to control our anger, and an outburst towards our loved ones can be very harmful to a relationship.
If anger is an issue you struggle with consider talking with a counselor to learn coping skills to help keep anger at bay so that it doesn’t affect your relationship.
18. Keeping score
When anger gets the best of us in a marriage a very common reaction is to be vengeful or seek retribution from your spouse.
Lying as a common marriage problem isn’t only restricted to infidelity or selfishness, it also compromises of white lies about day to day things. These lies are many times used to save face and not let your spouse get the high ground.
Couples might lie to each other about the difficulties or problems they might be facing at work or in other social scenarios, such marriage problems burden a relationship, and when things get out of hand, it can very much wreck a marriage.
20. Unrealistic expectations
To some extent, we all agree with the notion that marriage is forever, but still, we fail to put in the time and effort to understand our partners before getting married.
We draw our inspirations of a perfect marriage from stories that we have heard or from people that we know without even questioning if both of us want the same things in life or not.
A mismatch between a couple about the future outlook of a relationship creates a lot of room for a build-up of unrealistic expectations from our partner.
These expectations, when not fulfilled, breeds resentment, disappointments and pushes marriage down a path from where there might be no recovery.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.