We have all seen the signs a relationship is falling apart. How often have you gone to a restaurant and watched a couple not speak a word to one another? They stay married for the sake of being married and mechanically go through the daily motions of life.
These couples have nothing in common and most likely have not embraced each other for years. No affection. No emotion. No warmth between them.
They may have been in love at one time, or maybe they weren’t. The fact is that they are no longer in mutual love. These couples may have grown tired of each other or taken two different paths in life. Many relationships fall flat in what is known as the “convenient” stage of marriage.
This convenient stage of marriage can come from many things:
Maybe you were madly in love at one time, but something changed along the way
You may have grown and blossomed as a person, and your partner did not
Maybe you ultimately sought two different paths in life
Possibly one or both of you outgrew each other
Or maybe your priorities shifted, and you allowed your connection to take a nosedive
Recognize the early signs your relationship is falling apart and determine whether to fix it – or leave it.
Why do relationships fall apart?
Relationships can fall apart due to several reasons. Usually, it is not just one reason a relationship would fall apart. It is primarily a combination of several factors.
How to save your relationship starts with acknowledging the signs your relationship is failing.
1. Lack of intimacy
Lack of sex, intimacy, or touch is one of the first signs of your relationship falling apart. Sex is the glue that cements your relationship as a couple. It’s special and sacred to just the two of you. It’s a powerful act of togetherness that keeps you centered and connected.
Without sex and affection, the two of you have become good pals. A marriage falling apart will exhibit the signs your relationship is falling apart.
2. Poor communication (or none at all)
How to know if your relationship is falling apart? When there is an evident lack of communication.
Lack of daily communication with your partner is one of the signs your relationship is falling apart. When relationships start to crumble, silence is generally one of the first indicators. When loving text messages, emails, and phone calls become scarce or non-existent, it could be time for a relationship check-up.
If you ask whether “my relationship is falling apart?” then bridging the communication gap with your partner is pivotal in understanding how to save a relationship.
3. PDA is non-existent
If your public displays of affection have become public displays of separation, you may have cause for concern. Touch is driven by love. When you are in love, you want to touch your partner.
When sweet kisses, hand holding, and walking arm-in-arm have been replaced by crossed arms and a measurable distance between you, those are obvious signs your relationship is falling apart.
You will witness an elevated formality with your partner when you feel like your relationship is falling apart. When “Sweetheart,” “Honey,” and “Lover” have been replaced with “Angela,” “Jack,” and “Stacey,” you might want to listen up.
The way your spouse addresses you exudes signs your marriage is falling apart. Love elicits loving terms of endearment. Your boss should call you by name; your partner should not.
What are the reasons that marriages fall apart? Watch this video to know more.
5. No more common interests
Doing activities as a couple strengthens your bond. Mutual interests keep you connected as a couple. When you explore life as a tag team, you look forward to your time together. It’s like being married to your best friend, with the bonus of sex.
When your relationship is falling apart, the interests you once enjoyed together might have become strictly solo adventures.
What to do when your relationship falls apart from a lack of common interests?
Well, you may need to restructure your interests to merge back together as a couple. How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart sometimes necessitates putting the interests of your partner before yours.
With a fragment of love and attraction still felt by both of you, your relationship may require a bit of polishing to reboot and get back on track.
How much do you both know about each other’s lives at this point? If the answer to that is “not much,” chances are that, unfortunately, your relationship is falling apart.
If either of you are doing things you do not want the other to find out or are just secretive because you do not want them to be a part of your life, it could be one of the signs.
8. You lose your temper easily
If everything your partner does has started to irk you, it could be one of the signs that your relationship is falling apart. The little endearing things about them have become the most annoying bits of their personality.
9. You’ve run out of compromises
Compromises are a part of relationships. Now and then, one person compromises to make sure the relationship remains healthy and smooth. However, if one partner starts to feel like they are the only one who compromises for the sake of the relationship or feels like they have run out of them, it could be one of the signs your relationship is falling apart.
10. You lose your sense of self
If the relationship encroaches upon your sense of self – your self-respect, individuality, or self-worth, it could be one of the signs that your relationship is falling apart. If you are not happy and satisfied as an individual, it gets tough to be happy in a relationship.
Once you determine if an aspect of attraction is left in your relationship, how do you go about pulling your relationship out of the fix-it stage? Easy! You put in the effort.
What to do when your relationship is failing
How to save your relationship from falling apart? You rearrange your priorities, so your partner comes first (before your friends, the kids, or the dog), like when dating. You will need to look outside of you to find the current signs your relationship is falling apart.
If there is still some morsel of desirability and you are just going through a rough patch or have become disconnected as a couple, it may not be necessary to end the marriage. If you passed the two-pronged “Dang Factor” test, there is hope for love resurrection, and it is time to get serious about bringing good love back into your life. This is one of the ways to fix a relationship.
If one or both of you choose not to put effort into revitalizing your once fun and sexy marriage, you could end up divorced. You both need to be prepared for this and the realization that you could lose an otherwise incredible love when all that was needed was a bit of polishing and effort.
Recurring signs your relationship is falling apart usually have straightforward solutions; just don’t let your ego get in the way.
I cannot stress enough the importance of putting in the effort to save your relationship, if and only if you both have some crumb of attraction left for your partner. To fix and revive your once-felt attraction and devotion, both partners must feel (and want) some potential hope for love revival.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Michelle Afont has been a divorce attorney for over twenty years. In addition to her work in the legal field, she has also served as a life advisor, helping others to take the necessary steps to live their best lives. In addition to The Dang Factor, Afont is also the author of The Dude Factor and The Profile Factor and is an available speaker.