How to Fix and Save a Broken Marriage
In This Article
It’s a horrible feeling when you recognize that things aren’t working in your marriage. A failing marriage is the worst relationship catastrophe that you can imagine. It leaves a trail of pain, anguish, and disenchantment.
You want to be together but feel that there is too much broken or wrong to make that happen.
Have you ever asked yourself how to fix a broken marriage?
Restoring a broken marriage isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. Through careful steps and understanding why marriages end up broken, you would be able to start working on your relationship before it’s too late.
Can you still fix a broken marriage?
It’s not easy to admit that things aren’t going well, but the good news is that you can help get things back on track.
You can work through the biggest challenges if you align and address the issues bringing you down.
This will involve both of you and a willingness to admit when your marriage is broken what went wrong and made you and your spouse bring you to the verge of a broken marriage and then find ways to repair the broken marriage.
On the other hand, some couples may give up rather than saving a marriage, but that doesn’t need to be your reality.
At the very least, it’s well worth trying out these steps to see how they work for you. Ultimately this may help you to recover from a failing marriage.
How do you start saving a marriage that is falling apart?
Before we go to the steps of how to fix a broken marriage, we must first understand where to start restoring a broken marriage.
One day, you will realize that you’re in a broken marriage. It’s normal to feel confused, lonely, and angry.
Fixing marriage problems will have to start somewhere, and it would start with YOU.
You need to assess your feelings and the situation before making a move because you don’t want to exert time and effort if your relationship is over.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you still love your spouse?
- Do you still trust each other?
- Have you tried seeking help?
- Have you both put in the best you can to this marriage?
- Have you thought about how your kids would react?
- If you were to divorce your spouse now, how would you feel?
Take your time.
One failing marriage advice is to take time. Don’t rush because you have had enough of your spouse’s shortcomings. Don’t rush to end your marriage just because you always feel disappointed.
Hopefully have a better idea if your marriage is still worth saving.
5 Reasons that causes a broken marriage
Do you know how to fix your marriage when trust is broken? What about fixing a marriage when your spouse is too lazy?
There are many reasons why people decide to end their marriage. Knowing what caused the issue will help the couple learn how to fix a broken marriage.
These are some of the reasons why marriages fall apart:
1. Communication gap
Lack of communication can be highly damaging to a relationship.
When couples stop sharing things and expressing themselves, they weaken their chord of connection. When their connection becomes fragile, their relationship also loses its strength.
This is one of the signs of a failing marriage. If your marriage is on the verge of falling apart, you must strengthen your connection by communicating more. The death of communication can drive a wedge between you and your partner.
Cheating on your partner can be an ultimate deal-breaker. If one of the partners in a relationship indulges in infidelity, it damages the relationship.
Healing a broken marriage due to infidelity is very hard because trust, one of the foundations of a strong relationship, has been broken.
3. Lack of care and affection
With time passion fades in a relationship, and couples stop showing affection and care.
Eventually, the relationship’s sweetness and warmth go away, and there is no joy left in the marriage. This can cause a marriage to fall apart.
Related Reading: What Happens When There Is Lack of Attention in Relationship?
Crisis situations can either make a marriage stronger or break it.
In difficult times, how couples support each other determines how good or bad their relationship will become.
When partners don’t support each other, it shows they are in a failing marriage.
Related Reading: 20 Steps to Becoming a Supportive Partner
5. Different priorities
When you’ve been together for a while, you will realize that you might not have the same priorities in life.
You may both be working, and on your days off, you want to have family bonding and spend quality time with your kids. However, you see that your spouse doesn’t share the same priority.
Your spouse may want to go out with his friends, play basketball, and do other stuff that makes him feel relaxed.
These issues can already cause tension.
Another tug-of-war in priorities is if one person wants to save and the other loves spending on branded items.
There are many reasons why couples would have disagreements regarding priorities, and sometimes, it becomes too overwhelming.
Related Reading: What Are the Three Biggest Priorities in a Relationship
15 Ways to save your broken marriage
If you are wondering about how to fix a marriage or relationship marriage, you need to take a step back, reflect, and consider what is truly wrong and then try out these ways on how to rekindle a marriage.
1. Identify what made you fall in love
It’s heartbreaking when you think about how madly you were in love with your partner and how damaged your relationship has gotten.
If you are thinking about how to repair a broken marriage or how to mend a broken relationship, get back to basics and put yourself into the mindset of when you were first together and first in love.
Think about what made you fall in love with one another and maybe even write it down.
Consider what you adored about this person and what made you want to be with them.
Though you may have lost sight of this, thinking back to when times were good and you had just fallen in love can help lift your spirits and heal your broken marriage.
Recommended – Save My Marriage Course
Write down their best traits, and you may even find that they are still there, but you’ve had a hard time getting in touch with them lately.
2. Start to listen to each other again
Have conversations again and start to communicate with one another. Listen to what your spouse is telling you, and then ask the same from them.
Make it a point to listen to one another again, and it may very well be what helps you uncover what was once great about your marriage.
Wondering how to make a marriage work? Just listen to your partner, try to understand what they need.
Listening is powerful! Listening carefully will help you save your marriage.
3. Reflect on what has made your marriage feel broken
Why do marriages fail? Where did things go wrong? What happened that got you to the point of a broken marriage? Have you grown apart? Did one of you cheat? Or did life get in the way?
Identifying the causes of a broken marriage is important to fix one.
Even if a relationship has gone through such problems, saving a broken marriage is not impossible.
Think of when things went from good to bad, and then try to find a solution to fix a broken relationship or fix a broken marriage.
Check out this video by relationship expert Mary Kay Cocharo on how to fix or repair a broken marriage:
4. Talk to each other
Be patient with one another, even in the areas that present the biggest problems.
Talk to one another rather than at one another. This is part of listening, for when you increase communication, it helps you connect again.
Be patient and willing to work through the problems and know that it will lead you to better times. This is a critical issue to consider when saving your marriage from falling apart.
Related Reading: 5 Easy And Effective Couples Communication Tips
5. Don’t let distractions get in the way of your relationship
Sure, you may have kids and careers and many other things in your life, but don’t let them stand in the way of your marriage.
Life gets busy, but a couple must grow together and align throughout the good and bad times.
Make it a point to date again, talk more, and ensure that you are still a unified source no matter how busy life may get. Keep dating your partner, and dating is the key to save a broken marriage.
It helps because as you schedule dates to meet each other with a free mind, you can keep yourselves accountable to one another.
6. Find a way to connect again
Think of what it would take to connect once again.
Plan a trip for just the two of you. Commit to spending even a few minutes together every night chatting. Go out on dates and make each other a priority.
When you feel disconnected, here are great ways to reconnect with your spouse with the help of Avital or “The Parenting Junkie,” founder of Present Play.
7. Commit to each other
Fixing a broken marriage is never easy.
Aside from trying, you also have to commit, and most of the time, this is where everything goes wrong.
Some people have a hard time committing, and this causes further problems. Learning how to repair a broken marriage starts with commitment.
Related Reading: 15 Tips on How to Stay Committed in a Relationship
8. Fix yourself first
Healing a broken marriage starts with us.
It’s easier to point fingers and list all the things your partner lacks, but marriage isn’t like that.
If you want to fix what’s broken in your marriage, you also need to reflect on yourself and work on it first.
We’re not perfect, but if you are both willing to work on yourselves first, then on your marriage, it will work out.
Remember, you should be sure of yourself and be complete so that your partner won’t have to carry your weight in the relationship.
9. List all your spouse’s positive traits and appreciate
“I want to know how to fix my marriage, but my spouse is always making mistakes!”
There’s one way to learn how to fix a broken marriage, and that is through listing your spouse’s positive traits.
Of course, this will depend on the reason your marriage is on the rocks. If it were because of infidelity or abuse, this tip wouldn’t apply.
If your broken marriage was because of differences in priorities, crisis, poor communication, or even about money, you could still use this technique.
List all the positive traits of your spouse.
Your spouse might not align with your priorities, but he is a good cook, he works hard, you feel his love, and he doesn’t drink or smoke.
We focus too much on what we can’t see rather than the things that we do.
If you can appreciate the things that your spouse can do, it would be easier to make an effort and find ways on how to restore a broken marriage.
10. Get to know each other again
Because of our hectic schedule, kids, and stress, we wake up one day, and we don’t know our spouse the way we used to.
Learn how to save a marriage that is falling apart by committing that you will understand each other more.
Get to know each other again. Learn what makes your spouse inspired, their goals, and what they don’t like.
Getting to know each other again will help you understand where both of you are coming from.
11. Set rules
Once you have committed to change and are working on how to save a broken marriage, it’s time to create some rules.
Why is this necessary?
When you want to change, and you love your spouse, then there are things that you can’t do or say.
You will have misunderstandings in the future, and you can create a rule not to bring up past mistakes or not to say bad words.
This can do so much for your recovering marriage.
Related Reading: 22 Relationship Rules for a Happy Union
12. Be physically intimate
Sex isn’t the only way to be intimate. Learn how to fix a failing marriage with the power of touch.
Hold hands, caress your spouse, and hug each other.
These simple acts of touch and sweetness can help you bond by releasing love hormones such as oxytocin, which could bring back the intimacy in your marriage.
13. Respect each other
Respect is important in any relationship.
Start learning how to fix your marriage by making sure that you respect one another. No matter how disappointed you are, don’t belittle your spouse.
Don’t tell your spouse that they are worthless or incompetent because you can no longer take back those words.
No matter what the problem is, as long as it’s not abuse or infidelity, you can work it out as long as you respect one another.
14. Tell your partner what you want
“All I wanted was for my spouse to have the initiative to wash the dishes! Are there ways to fix my marriage to someone like this person?”
The question is, did you tell your spouse about it?
Your spouse might be clueless about the issue, and here you are, resenting him and remembering all the things he failed to do.
Because you’ve been together for a long time, your spouse already knows what you hate and love, right?
That is why we should stop assuming, and the simple solution is to tell your spouse what you want.
15. Seek the help of a professional
Of course, some issues and problems go way back and are harder to resolve.
Is there a way on how to fix a broken marriage when everything seems to be too complicated?
It is where the help of a licensed therapist comes in. It’s incredible how a licensed professional can guide you to the right path of fixing your marriage problems.
As long as you can both commit, there’s a chance to make things better.
Is it possible to save your broken marriage alone?
“Is it possible to fix my broken marriage alone? I don’t want to give up on our marriage.”
This is a common question, and the truth is, it’s possible in certain situations, but not all.
It’s not to discourage people who want to work on their marriage alone, but you must understand that fixing a broken marriage will work better if the couple commits to the same goal.
Try these steps if you still want to try your best to fix your relationship.
Related Reading: Repair Your Marriage Without Therapy in Three Easy Steps
Review your marriage
Take your time and review your marriage and be honest with yourself. If you find out that the problems started with you, you can commit to change.
How did the problems start?
What happened throughout your marriage? Identify all the changes that might have led to the troubles in your marriage and work on being better.
How far are you willing to work alone?
You understand what happened, and you’re willing to do your best to make it work, but you can sense that your spouse isn’t willing to join you. How far can you try? Can you take time and convince your spouse to give your marriage one more chance?
Does counseling help in fixing a broken marriage?
How do you fix a broken marriage when you and your spouse are almost giving up?
This is where counseling helps.
Marriage and couple counseling can make a huge difference in your quest to fix your marriage.
Counseling, through the guidance of a licensed therapist, can help you and your spouse work through your issues and strengthen your bond.
When you can find your way back to one another again and reconnect, it may help fix a broken marriage.
These suggestions on how to save a marriage and how to deal with a broken marriage will surely help you salvage your relationship.
Sometimes it’s a matter of reflecting upon things that will help you find lasting happiness, even when you think that the marriage is falling apart—this is how to make a broken marriage work and enjoy that happily ever after that you always dreamed of!
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