17 Signs Your Relationship Is Failing & How to Save It

A relationship can be considered a regular job where you must exert some effort and do your best to stay in it. We all enter a relationship expecting to get the best out of it.

We want regular dinner dates, a romantic stroll in the pack, a monthly couple’s vacation, and an exchange of gifts. However, when problems in a relationship start, or the fights start getting unhealthy and hurtful, you need to reassess the stages of a failing relationship.

Understanding the signs your relationship is failing is the first step to knowing where you stand. Besides the signs, we have also shared steps you can take to save your relationship from falling.

Why do relationships fail?

There can be many reasons why relationships fail, including lack of trust, different goals and expectations, and compatibility issues. Regardless of the reason, the first step is to narrow down the cause of the problem and see how you can salvage the situation.

However, you need to prepare your mind that your effort may prove fruitful or not. The end of a relationship seems scary, but it is a part of life we sometimes have to come to terms with.

17 signs your relationship is failing

Take a look at your current relationship. Do you hesitate when people ask you how it is going? Or you find yourself asking, “Why is my relationship failing?” If yes, that is one of the signs your relationship is failing and not working out as planned.

You should still be excited about your relationship, even when there is a dispute. Nevertheless, if you do not feel this way about your relationship or you are not happy, it may be the right time to take a few steps back and review the relationship’s essence.

According to psychologist Mert Şeker

The factors that cause relationships to fail are quite complex and varied. These include external factors such as stressful life events, financial difficulties, and work pressures. Also, not meeting emotional needs can weaken relationships equally. If a partner feels their need for emotional support and love is unmet, the relationship may deteriorate over time.

Check out the following signs your relationship is failing and what you can do about it:

1. No communication

Excellent communication involves having a deep talk about each other’s feelings, experiences, and day-to-day activities. You should give your partner full attention and effectively communicate your thoughts and ideas without holding anything back.

Communication clears all doubts and leaves no room for assumptions. If you don’t converse with your partner often, it is one of the signs a relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Start by expressing yourself more and encourage your partner to do the same. Resist the urge to be judgy and make eye contact to show you follow the conversation.

Psychologist Mert Şeker explains,

There are several effective activities and strategies to increase communication in a relationship. First of all, taking time off on a regular basis is one of the cornerstones of a relationship. Planning regular date nights or weekly events by creating a shared calendar can strengthen the bond between partners. Common interests and hobbies can increase communication by creating common denominators. At the same time, using technology in a controlled way supports face-to-face communication. Emotional support starts with making the partner feel that you are there during difficult times. Understanding and supporting the partner’s needs can increase trust and commitment.

2. You fight all the time

Fighting in a relationship can be a sign of a healthy relationship. The problem comes when the fight turns into hatred, extended breaks, and hurtful words.

If your fights involve exchanging hurtful words and disrespecting each other over the slightest thing, it is one of the potential signs a relationship will fail. Hence, making a relationship work will take a lot of work.

What you can do:

Ask yourself some questions. What are the causes of these fights? How can you communicate your differences better without it generating a huge fight? You may also seek the help of a relationship counselor.

3. Running from fight

Avoiding fights is one of the reasons why relationships fail. It means that you both don’t care about each other. We grew up knowing fighting to be a negative thing. Hence, we tend to avoid them, thinking they will strengthen our relationship.

Fights are inevitable, so you should look for ways to manage rather than avoid them. If not, it is one of the signs your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Calm down and discuss the cause of the arguments instead of avoiding them.

For instance, if your partner is a vegan and you are not. The best way to ensure everyone gets their desired meal is to look for ways. It can take as little as labeling meal containers to avoid confusion.

4. Your partner disregards feelings

Sometimes, frequent communication in a relationship does not guarantee a perfect relationship. If your partner disregards your feelings when you discuss specific topics with them, it is one of the failing relationship signs.

What you can do:

Carefully listen to your partner’s concerns, acknowledge them, and assure them you are with them. Better still, you can ask them what they feel about the situation and work together.

5. Not planning together

When couples don’t plan together, it can mean they don’t value or respect each other enough. It does not necessarily have to be big plans for the future. Planning date nights together, for example, can strengthen a relationship.

What you can do:

See your partner as an equal contributor to the relationship. Mere telling your partner about your weekend plan can make them feel respected and valued.

6. No Affection

Affection is what makes a relationship what it is. At some point in the relationship, the emotion and passion you feel for each other will dwindle due to other commitments you may have. However, when the thought of your partner’s touch irritates you, it means your relationship is in trouble.

What you can do:

Have a deep discussion with your partner about how you feel. Talk about the last time you both had fun and find a way to reawaken such moments.

7. Lack of trust

Trust is integral to a happy and fulfilling relationship. It contributes to the growth and peace of a relationship. So you may ask, how to know if your relationship is failing? When a relationship lacks trust, it is one of the signs that your relationship is failing.

Lack of trust makes you doubt your partner, leading to you keeping information from them. Lack of trust has factors like poor emotional support, compatibility, dependability, etc., and is a reason for relationship breakdown.

What you can do:

When broken, trust can be challenging to fix. Nevertheless, you can discuss it with your partner and tell them you are committed to the relationship. Also, you can make a relationship work by being loyal and always keeping your promises and words.

8. You don’t create time for each other

You can only know your partner more when you spend quality time together. Spending time together helps to strengthen the relationship and provides more chances for improvement.

If you don’t do this often or your partner avoids every means of meeting together, it can be one of the signs that your relationship is failing. Hence, you will find it hard to make the relationship work.

What you can do:

Take your time to determine the cause of this. It could be that your partner is busy or the stress of working is getting to them. Understand this and make a conscious effort to create time, no matter how small.

9. You are attracted to another person

It is normal to admire other people in a relationship. Once you start fantasizing about them and seeing a relationship with them, that is one of the signs that your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Redirect your feelings to your partner and think about all the good memories you both have built.

10. It looks like you are bugging your partner

The relationship is in trouble when your partner makes you feel like you are a burden or disturbing them. This situation usually occurs when the other person is tired of the relationship or has problems.

What you can do:

When your partner makes you feel like a disturbance, it may be because they are facing some challenges. Try your best to make them talk about it. It might be time to leave the relationship if nothing comes out of it.

11. Abusive relationship

An abusive relationship is a major red flag in a relationship. Many individuals excuse their partner’s toxic behavior with passion and love. Some of the symptoms include physical altercation, stalking, and manipulation. If you notice any of these signs, it is one of the signs that your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Long-term counseling and therapy are some of the solutions to an abusive relationship. In some situations, it is best to leave the relationship.

12. Your partner finds it hard to change

No matter how perfect you are, you will have weaknesses that reveal themselves once you feel relaxed in a relationship.

Some of them may be as minor as farting indiscriminately or leaving clothes around. If these actions affect your behavior toward your partner, it is a sign that your relationship is failing.

What you can do:

Your partner may not realize some of these behaviors. Instead of grumbling, it would be best to communicate with your partner and let them know how you feel about the attitude.

13. Your relationship is boring

The activities you both participate in make a relationship exciting and fun. These include going out for movies, dates, and having a casual walk in the neighborhood. When you stop doing these activities, it means you cannot make your relationship work.

What you can do:

Rejuvenates the relationship by creating new memories together. It could be as little as a pillow fight or visiting a new country together. Also, you can talk and share memories.

Psychologist Mert Şeker states,

Planning exciting activities together, such as hiking, mountain climbing, and sea canoeing, allows you to have new experiences together. Creating something together can add a new dimension to your relationship. For example, you can organize a garden together and produce crafts or artistic projects at home. Attending dance classes together can add fun while increasing physical intimacy. The important thing is to choose the activities you are interested in with your partner and create opportunities to strengthen your emotional bond with each other.

14. You find It hard to forgive

Contrary to the lovey-dovey moments in a relationship, your partner can offend and hurt you. It may be intentional or not, but these are parts of the relationship. If you find it hard to forgive your partner, you may be breeding hatred, eventually leading to a relationship failing.

What you can do:

Forgiveness after disputes will save your relationship and allow you to move on. It will also eliminate any suppressed grievances. It may be challenging, but forgiveness is an ingredient of a healthy relationship.

15. Distancing

When you find yourself avoiding your partner every time, it can be one of the signs of a failing relationship.

You may still live in the same house and perform activities together. But when you don’t feel any connection toward your partner or avoid talking with them, you may start thinking of a way out.

What you can do:

Writing a shared journal and deliberately trying to sit and talk to each other will help. You can also set a digital-free time where both are away from phones and other electronic media and only spend time interacting together.

16. Lack of support and encouragement

A relationship should be a source of support and encouragement for both partners. If you feel like your partner is not there for you when you need them or are not supportive of your goals and aspirations, it could be a sign that your relationship is failing. 

A lack of support and encouragement can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction.

What you can do:

Communicate your needs and aspirations to your partner and express how important their support is to you. Encourage open and honest discussions about each other’s dreams and find ways to support and uplift each other.

Watch Jordan Peterson, a Canadian psychologist and author, as he explains what toxic relationships look like and why you must walk away from these people in the video:

17. Loss of intimacy

Intimacy is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship. It includes emotional, physical, and sexual closeness. 

When there is a loss of intimacy, it can be one of the signs your relationship is failing. This can manifest as a lack of connection, a decrease in affection, or a decline in sexual intimacy.

What you can do:

Initiate open and honest conversations about your feelings and desires with your partner. Discuss any issues or concerns surrounding intimacy and find ways to reconnect and reignite the spark in your relationship. It may also be beneficial to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor specializing in relationships.

Remember, these signs are not definitive proof of a failing relationship but rather indicators that there may be areas of concern. Addressing these issues and working with your partner to improve your relationship is essential.

What are the reasons for failing relationships?

Regarding why relationships fail, there is no single answer to it. There can be several reasons for relationship failure, including lack of communication, trust issues, infidelity, incompatible values and goals, growing apart, and unresolved conflicts. 

Other causes of failed relationships can include financial problems, unrealistic expectations, lack of emotional support, and absence of effort to maintain and nurture the relationship. Addressing these issues through open communication and mutual efforts can help sustain a healthy relationship.

FAQs

Managing relationships can be challenging, and having questions when facing difficulties is common. The following section will address some common concerns about failing relationships.

• Can a failing relationship be saved?

Yes, a failing relationship can be saved, but it requires effort from both partners. Open communication, addressing underlying issues, seeking professional help, and a willingness to work on the relationship are essential.

• Is it normal to feel hopeless in a failing relationship?

Feeling hopeless is a common response in a failing relationship. However, with a proactive approach, determination, and support from professionals or loved ones, hope can be restored and the relationship improved.

• Are there instances where ending the relationship is the best option?

Yes, ending a relationship can be the best option if there is ongoing toxicity, emotional or physical abuse, infidelity, or if both partners have lost their connection and are unwilling to work on it.

• Can a failed relationship work again?

While it’s possible for a failed relationship to work again, it heavily depends on the reasons for the breakup, willingness to address past issues, genuine remorse, and a commitment to rebuilding trust.

• Why do most relationships fail?

Several reasons contribute to relationship failures, such as poor communication, lack of trust, unresolved conflicts, incompatibility, emotional neglect, loss of intimacy, external pressures, or changing priorities and goals. Each relationship is unique so the factors may vary.

Final note

If you want a relationship, you must be ready to do your all to make it work. 

It may be hard to accept, but when you notice some signs like abuse, lack of trust, lack of communication, and disrespect, it may be signs your relationship is failing, and it is time to call it off.

Even when you try your best to put the relationship together, the damage may be too severe. In such a situation, it could be best to quit the relationship.