Loyalty in Relationships: What Does It Look Like?

Most people would probably say that they value loyalty in a relationship, but it may be unclear what loyalty in relationships looks like. Being loyal to someone can mean a variety of different things, so it is important to understand the various aspects of faithful relationships.

What is loyalty in a relationship?

When people think of loyalty, they probably most often define loyalty in a relationship as being fully committed to your partner and not cheating. While this is certainly an important aspect of being loyal, there are other facets of loyalty.

Being loyal to someone in a faithful relationship requires not only avoiding cheating but also being loyal in the way you speak about your partner to others.

Speaking positively about your partner to others demonstrates loyalty, just as being faithful to the relationship does. There are other aspects of loyalty in relationships, and it is necessary to consider all of them since loyalty is paramount.

The importance of loyalty in relationships

Most people value loyalty in relationships, and it’s for a good reason. Here are the reasons why you should be loyal in your relationship.

• Loyalty is central to having a healthy relationship

As the Gottmans, who are psychology experts for couples, have explained that trust and commitment in relationships lead to happiness and promote well-being— couples who have loyalty can. Therefore, expect to be more satisfied in their relationships and their lives.

• Loyalty is central to a successful, lasting relationship

Everyone wants to have a partner who chooses them above everyone else and is their lifelong companion. As humans, we ultimately want to feel like our partners love us unconditionally and will always make us a priority. Having loyalty in a relationship helps to cultivate these positive feelings. 

• It is also important to remember that you deserve loyalty in relationships

Having a partner who truly loves you, cares for you, and is committed to making the relationship work will make you a happier, healthier person. 

Not having loyalty in your relationship can set you up for disappointment and leave you feeling stressed, which can lead to emotional and even physical health problems. 

How to build loyalty in a relationship?

Since loyalty is so important, it is essential to take steps to build it in your relationship. 

As stated previously, loyalty in a relationship means staying faithful in the relationship, in addition to speaking positively about your partner. 

So, aside from staying away from cheating, which is critical, an important part of being loyal to someone in a romantic partnership is speaking kindly about them to others.

For instance, you should avoid talking badly about your partner behind their back. If someone says something negative about your partner, you should defend them. This is among the top things that represent loyalty because if you talk negatively about your partner to others, you aren’t truly being loyal to them. 

Another key method of building loyalty is to follow through or remain loyal to your promises. This is pretty simple. If you tell your partner, you are going to do something. You should follow through with this commitment. This builds trust and shows that you are committed. 

Other strategies for building loyalty in a relationship include being supportive of your partner through life’s challenges and being prepared to face obstacles together. This also goes hand-in-hand with discussing big decisions with your partner. 

If you make important decisions without including your partner in the process, they can feel left out. On the other hand, discussing life’s decisions with your partner and deciding things together shows that you are faithful to them and want them to always be included in your life choices. 

In summary, here are five ways to build loyalty in your relationship:

• Avoid the temptation to cheat.
• Include your partner in big decisions.
• Stick up for your partner when speaking to other people, especially when it is behind your partner’s back.
• Support your partner when times are tough.
• Stick to your word.

6 things that represent trust and loyalty in relationships

The above strategies can be useful for building trust and loyalty in your relationship. When you have achieved this goal, you may notice some of the things that represent loyalty within your relationship. 

These can include the following:

1. You and your partner are patient with each other

No one is perfect, so we all make mistakes. If you and your partner are loyal to each other, you will be patient with each other as you grow and you learn from mistakes. Patience shows that you are willing to remain faithful, even in spite of imperfections.

2. Your relationship is about companionship

In a truly loyal relationship, you and your partner should be best friends and have a strong companionship. In a loyal relationship, your partner becomes your lifelong companion. This requires lasting friendship.

3. You and your partner form a team

Just as teammates are loyal to each other, those in a loyal partnership should view each other as being on the same team. 

This means having shared goals and a sense of fighting all of life’s battles together. Being on the same team also means cheering for each other and always wanting your partner to succeed.

4. You are able to be open and honest with each other

Open, honest communication is another feature of loyalty in relationships.  

Sometimes, this requires you to share information your partner may not want to hear, such as constructive criticism. If you are loyal to your partner’s wellbeing and success, you will always be truthful with them because you ultimately know this is in their best interests.

5. You can be yourself around your partner

In a loyal relationship, you will not feel the need to hide aspects of who you are from your partner. 

Trust and loyalty in a relationship mean sharing your authentic self with your partner, including your hobbies, quirks, and flaws. A loyal partner will accept you for all of who you are, imperfections and all.

6. You work conflict out between yourselves

While we all vent to our friends or family members from time to time, in a loyal relationship, we should resolve conflicts with our partner. This means that we address it directly with our partner if we have a concern instead of gossiping or complaining to others. 

Running to a friend or family member to complain every time you disagree with your significant other can be seen as badmouthing your partner, which is actually quite the opposite of loyalty. 

10 qualities of loyalty in a relationship

The signs of a loyal relationship listed above are closely linked to the qualities of a loyal relationship. Based upon the things that represent loyalty, it seems that the following ten things are the main qualities of loyalty in a relationship:

• Trust
• Open Communication 
• Partnership
• Authenticity
• Lasting Companionship
• Commitment to the Relationship 
• Patience
• Strong Conflict Resolution Skills 
• Mutual Support
• Having each other’s backs

Small actions to build loyalty in relationships

If you would like to increase loyalty in your own relationship, you can take small, intentional steps to achieve this goal. 

Try some of the following to build loyalty with your partner:

• Ask your partner how they are doing. Does your partner seem tired? Distracted? Irritable? Ask them what is going on; this shows that you are supportive.
• If you know your partner is dealing with stress or perhaps a difficult situation at work, ask how you can be supportive. Offer your help.
• Ask for your partner’s opinions and share your thoughts and feelings with them.
• Keep your partner’s secrets. If they share something with you in confidence, you should not break this trust.
• Be willing to compromise and adjust with your partner. Sometimes, being loyal means that you need to put some of your partner’s wishes or needs first or being willing to accept that you will not always have things 100% your way. 
• Accept your partner for who they are. Ideally, we will have things in common in a healthy relationship, such as shared interests and values, but that does not mean we will be exactly like our partner or love absolutely everything about them. 

A loyal relationship requires you to accept your partner, despite any differences you two may have. This means that you should not try to change your partner but instead accept them and love them for who they are. 

The video below discusses some ideas for a peaceful relationship and the importance of fully accepting your partner the way they are:

• Make a commitment not to talk badly about your partner, even when you are frustrated or upset. If you have a concern about your partner, go to them, and resist the urge to gossip or vent to others. 

If you feel tempted to go to others, pause, and take time to evaluate your feelings. 

Takeaways: Building true loyalty

It is pretty clear what being loyal to someone means, and it is important to be a loyal person if you want a happy, healthy relationship. 

If you and your partner are having issues surrounding loyalty, it may be helpful to have a conversation about what does loyalty mean to you. Being on the same page about what you expect can help you to be faithful to each other.

If you have made some mistakes in your relationship, it is not too late to build trust and loyalty if both you and your partner are committed to doing so. 

Taking steps such as including your partner in big decisions, viewing each other as best friends and teammates, and supporting each other through ups and downs can go a long way. It is also important to speak positively about your partner to other people, practice patience, and openly communicate with each other.

Healthy relationships should be based on trust and loyalty. If you find your partner has not been a loyal person, seeking the help of a couple’s counselor may help you to develop more trust and loyalty in your relationship. 

Ultimately, a relationship that involves repeated instances of disloyalty is unhealthy, and you may have to put an end to it, but this only opens the door for a relationship with true loyalty down the road.