Some relationships bring happiness, great times, and memories. However, some become the cause of heartache and sorrow. It is one of the hardest things to identify the red flags in a relationship and get rid of them.
So, what are the signs of a dysfunctional relationship?
Dysfunctional relationships do a great deal in causing emotional havoc to both the partners. They add unhealthy challenges to the relationship and have a distressing tendency that grows more with time.
What is a dysfunctional relationship?
The word “dysfunctional” or “toxic” is used when things are not working well in a relationship.
It happens when relationships don’t fulfill their fundamental purpose of bringing happiness and emotional support for their partners and are continuously filled with upsetting challenges and instability rather than fulfillment.
When you start realizing more destructive rather than constructive time with your partner, then these are signs of a dysfunctional relationship.
A dysfunctional relationship is always toxic and is often a dead-end to the relationship.
A dysfunctional relationship is often the result of our childhood events. Kids who are brought up in a chaotic environment often become dysfunctional partners in their relationships. These individuals end up using dysfunctional relationship patterns with their partners.
Depending on your partner for all the happiness is another indication of dysfunctional relationship patterns. It could be torturing to deal with incessantups and downs in a dysfunctional relationship when we desire peace from the screaming roller coaster of the relationship.
Remember, there is no perfect relationship. It requires continuous healthy communication for conflict management. No matter how good a relationship is, you should never sacrifice your security, happiness, and mental peace for it.
It’s hard to imagine a long-term relationship without causing some self-destructive behavior. There could be different methods to deal with the distinct types of a dysfunctional relationship.
A dysfunctional person overlooks their partner and eventually eradicates them from their life. Consequently, successful people take time to understand and reduce the destructive effects of their relationships.
The following 15 signs of a dysfunctional relationship represent the negative experiences that most people witness in their life.
Who got the authority to make all decisions in your relationship? Is it equally shared or one-sided?
A relationship based on the power hierarchy with one partner on top and the other following all the rules does not work in the long run. It may feel as your partner is becoming more demanding, ignoring, and pulling you away in the relationship.
Mostly discontented and frustrated couples blame each other for the arising problems in the relationship. Consequently, people taking responsibility for their words and actions to achieve a satisfactory relationship.
Dysfunctional communication is one of the basic reasons for increasing blame game in the relationship. Couples stop discussing and start blaming their partner for the issues.
Having a destructive triangle is one of the signs of a dysfunctional person. They share private information with somebody outside the relationship without taking their partner in confidence.
While it is common to share with friends and get advice, it becomes concerning and highly uncomfortable when the confidante tells everything to the unaware partner. It results in initiating multiple cases of disloyalty.
The increasing level of resentment in the relationship acts as the silent poison along with contributing to dysfunctional communication. Having daily basis resentments affect interaction with your partner to work on broken things in the relationship.
While prolonged resentment is often associated with pride and values, it is powerful enough to ruin your relationship.
A dysfunctional person will always initiate destructive communication in the relationship. You can imagine when a discussion starts with, “How can you be always selfish?” or “You are the troublemaker.”
No relationship is perfect, and without conflict, it is possible to solve most of the conflicts with good communication and using conflict management methods.
8. Continuous criticism
With a clear difference between positive and negative criticism, a healthy relationship does not have to face issues with continuous criticism.
A dysfunctional person continuously ignores your existence, uses an aggressive tone, and hurts your self-esteem. You are in a dysfunctional love relationship when your partner is tearing you down instead of being your cheerleader.
While all relationships have arguments, it is common to get upset with your significant other. If there is constant unhappiness in the relationship, you need to check and speak to your partner about it. It is a dysfunctional relationship belief to tolerate unhappiness long-term. You deserve to be happy!
It is one of the types of dysfunctional relationships when your partner does not respect their boundary. They violate boundaries to sneak into the private secrets of their partners without worrying about their damaging consequences.
It can be good to rely on our partners sometimes. However, we should never be the sole reason for your happiness.
This is a clear sign of a dysfunctional relationship. Your partner should be happy in the first place and even happier to be with you, but don’t always connect your happiness to their happiness as it is unrealistic.
12. Emotional detachment
A healthy relationship requires a continuous emotional security. You are in a dysfunctional love relationship if you do not feel emotional connectivity with your partner. The lack of emotional availability, selfishness, and dynamic interests are signs of a dysfunctional person.
The lack of consideration in responding to the expressed and unknown complaints causes grudges in the relationship.
These grudges can be small in the beginning but can fester over time. Dysfunctional persons are always resentful and consider themselves being victimized by partners.
Take a look at the video below that illustrates how grudges are hurtful and how they can play havoc in the relationship:
It is an obvious sign of a dysfunctional relationship when you are constantly unsure about your partner’s behavior. A dysfunctional person will be nice, caring, and sweet one night and opposite the other.
You start living on the edge with a consistent need to watch out for your tone, voice, and actions.
Despite knowing all signs of a dysfunctional person, people often believe it’s hard to live without them. Therefore, they refuse to take in any offered opportunity to escape the relationship.
4. For their children
All parents desire to raise their children together and save them from the heartbreaking pain of divorce.
Likewise, they want to save themselves from the blame coming from their children for not holding the family together. They choose to stay with a dysfunctional person and relationship with their children.
It can be hard to fix dysfunctional relationship beliefs; however, the right approach and efforts can help achieve a positive relationship over time.
Make sure to keep a healthy check on your partner while you are working hard to make things right.
It can be hard to always avoid disagreements and blame in relationships; however, you can do this with the right mindset and attitude. Remember, everyone deserves to be in a healthy, happy, and comforting relationship.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.