We’ve all heard that a relationship “takes work,” but what does that mean exactly?
Frankly, it sounds like drudgery. Who wants to spend hours at an office only to come home to job number two? Wouldn’t it be more pleasant to think of your relationship as a source of comfort, fun, and pleasure?
Of course, it would. That said, here are some basic fixes if things feel stagnant if the good times are becoming few and far between, if arguing is your main form of communication, or if you just feel that you need a tune-up. And they might even be enjoyable.
How to maintain a healthy relationship doesn’t need to be long winding, complex process.
Allow me to elaborate and as you read on, you may just find it pretty resourceful to keep a healthy relationship.
1. Don’t argue over money
It’s practically a guaranteed relationship killer. If you haven’t yet had a conversation about how money is earned, spent, saved, and shared, do it now. Try to get an understanding of how each of you sees your financial life, and where the differences are. Then address them.
2. Try not to focus on trifles
Is it worth fighting about? More to the point, is it really a trifle? Often a seemingly minor issue is a manifestation of a larger problem. Do you want to know how to make a relationship strong? Talk about what’s really bothering you, instead of how loud the TV is. It’s really that simple.
Your hopes. Your fears. Your passions. Let your partner know who you really are. Set aside sometime each day just to talk about the things that are important to each of you, as individuals. This is one of the most crucial things to do to make your relationship stronger.
4. Be friendly
Treat your partner the way you’d treat a good and trusted friend: with respect, consideration, and kindness. It will go a long way in fostering a strong relationship.
5. Resolve arguments together
When couples fight, it’s all too easy to get locked into a win/lose dynamic. Think of your disagreement as a problem for you both to solve, not a fight for you to win. Think of saying “we” before giving in to the temptation of casting blame on the other person.
6. Show affection daily
Sex is one thing. Holding hands, a hug, a squeeze on the arm – all create connection and trust. If you’re not getting as much attention as you want, let it be known.
7. Focus on the positive
What do you appreciate about your partner? What first attracted you? What do you treasure about your life together? Focus on the positivity to make the relationship strong.
8. Be supportive
Nothing kills a buzz like a negative or absent response to something you’re enthusiastic about.
9. Words plus deeds
Saying “I love you” carries much more weight when you consistently do things that your partner values.
10. Recognize that all relationships have ups and downs
Think long-term. Your relationship is an investment, as the stock market. Ride out the down times. With the right kind of attention, they will be temporary.
11. Respect each other when arguing
It is all too tempting to use whatever ammunition you’ve got in the heat of battle. Ask yourself, where will it get you? A partner who is likely to come to your side, or one who will get even more defensive? Ask your partner how he or she sees the problem.
12. Have each other’s back
And, let that be known, that’s how you keep a relationship strong.
13. Set goals as a couple
Talk about how you want your relationship to look in a year, five years, ten years. Then work toward that goal.
14. Make your partner a priority
That is why you’re in this relationship in the first place.
This is how to keep a relationship strong and happy. Following these tips will get you closer to your spouse and improve the quality of your relationship. Relationships, against what is commonly believed, are not as difficult to maintain as they are made out to be. Inculcating some habits and behaviors in your day to day life is sufficient to keep your relationship strong, healthy and happy.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Marcie Scranton