Are you currently going through a rocky phase with your partner? Perhaps you’re worried he’s about to leave you? Then again, your doubts could all be in your head. So, look out for these signs. He doesn’t want to break up with you.
We all doubt ourselves at some point during relationships. It’s perfectly natural, but luckily, there are many ways we communicate to each other our deepest thoughts and feelings. Body language, facial expressions, and general attitude can tell us so much more than just words.
All these details could be signs he doesn’t want to break up with you. You just need to look for them.
20 signs he doesn’t want to break up with you
Our minds tend to come up with worst-case scenarios to protect us. Of course, some of those scenarios can and do happen. Nevertheless, before thinking about the worst, try to gather some data first.
We’ve prepared this list of signs he doesn’t want to break up with you. Check the signs before jumping to conclusions.
Then, you can ask yourself if he’s listening intently to your responses. Alternatively, could he simply be asking you questions so that he can quickly move on to talking about himself? If he cares about you, he’ll want to take time to discover everything about you.
Anyone who wants to include you in their life stories and interests wants to keep you in their life. Of course, rather than being one of the signs he doesn’t want to break up with you, it could also simply be that you’re moving into the friendship stage.
Remember that great relationships are those where you’re also friends. The subtle difference is that he inclusively shares his passions. He wants you involved and part of the fun and the future.
Everyone gets excited when their partner introduces them to parents and family. Could this finally be the one? The signs he doesn’t want to break up with you usually go a bit further than just one meeting.
When your families and friends become part of your blended lives, you know that this is something serious.
On the flip side, signs he wants you to break up with him often entail a change in attitude. So, for example, he stops making an effort with your friends and family and suddenly has a million and one excuse not to see them.
Sex and intimacy are usually the first things to go when relationships hit a rocky patch. After all, it’s very hard to fake it when your heart isn’t in it. Relationship expert David Bennett even tells the Insider that if there’s a complete lack of intimacy or sex, this could be one of the sure signs he wants you to break up with him.
This might sound a little antiquated to most of us women, even downright condescending in this day and age. Nevertheless, we can’t escape our core instincts. Men still want to be the hero.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to put on some dramatic ‘female-in-distress’ act. Instead, look for the subtle signs he doesn’t want to break up with you. For example, does he stand up for you in heated discussions with friends? Perhaps he makes an effort to carry your bags?
6. You’re prioritized
Then again, we all have basic needs in relationships. Both men and women need to feel loved whilst being needed at the same time. In fact, our deep human need for connection and intimacy goes beyond any hero definition. Basically, we all want to feel special whilst being independent at the same time.
So, if you’re looking for signs he doesn’t want to break up with you, pay attention to moments of care and support you give to each other. If you find him becoming overly independent, perhaps the alarm bells should already be ringing.
7. Supports your goals
If you’re currently waking up asking yourself: “does he want to break up with me?” try to look for indications of a partnership. For instance, is he there for your work events? Does he listen to your goals and give constructive advice?
Essentially, true partners collaborate on mutual interests and goals. Those are the true signs he doesn’t want to break up with you. That’s why knowing how to tell if your boyfriend wants to break up with you means watching his attitude. If he brushes you off or ignores your goals, then he probably wants out.
Even if he doesn’t know what he wants, a brush-off usually means he’s not willing to commit.
Regardless, if the balance tips too far over towards independence, you know something’s wrong and that you’re slowly being shut out. It could be pointing to signs he wants you to break up with him.
9. His friends are your friends
The dynamics around friends can give you so many signs he doesn’t want to break up with you. When everything is going smoothly, both your group of friends seem to be perfectly merged into your lives.
Then again, if you’re asking yourself, “does he want me to break up with him” simply check the friend’s status. Have his friends started acting awkwardly or strangely around you? Maybe you’re just not being invited as often anymore?
If you’re always the one initiating activities, perhaps you’re wondering, “Does he want to break up”? This one can be a little trickier, depending on his character and style. Instead, look for changes in behavior. There might indeed be a problem if he was always suggesting things before but has now weirdly stopped.
11. More positive attitude
If you’re hearing that constant heavy sighing and general negativity all the time, then you’ll probably be saying to yourself: “why won’t he just break up with me?”. After all, if he’s that miserable, shouldn’t he pluck up the courage and say something about it?
People are complex, and a sudden spurt of negativity could be due to anything. For example, something could have happened at work or with his friends.
Before you jump to conclusions, check in to see if he’s willing to talk about his problems. If he’s open and willing, then you’re at the top of the list of signs he doesn’t want to break up with you.
There’s a difference between yelling to hurt each other and healthy debates. You can actually get more intimate when you argue with your partner, assuming it’s productive, of course. That’s because you’re sharing your needs and frustrations in a relationship whilst working on finding a happy medium.
Again, these are all clear signs he doesn’t want to break up with you.
On the other hand, if he’s arguing to nit-pick and blame you for everything, maybe you should be asking yourself: “does he want me to break up with him?”. Sometimes, arguing for the sake of arguing is a way to push someone away.
13. Talks about problems
A partnership means being committed to both the ups and downs of a relationship. If he’s become cold and uncommunicative, then you might be wise in asking yourself: “does he want to break up?”.
Ultimately, someone who doesn’t work with you on the relationship is most likely not willing to commit.
It’s almost too easy to do grand gestures and charm you with expensive restaurants or holidays.
Although, it’s the little things that tell you he’s being paying attention to what you like. Even if he doesn’t know what he wants yet if he’s making an effort to find that rare book you love, for example, then there’s usually hope.
17. Respect still exists
At the end of the day, if you lose respect for each other, you lose the relationship. You’ll know instinctively whether you feel good around him or whether he calls you names and embarrasses you in public.
There’s nothing worse than feeling ashamed of yourself, especially when it comes from your partner.
Signs he doesn’t want to break up with you all come down to commitment and effort. Relationships aren’t easy, but they’re pretty much impossible if it’s all one-sided. Of course, someone could be quieter than you and less of a talker.
You should clearly be careful to know the difference when compared to someone who’s just not making any effort. Then, it’s almost as if you can hear them counting down the minutes for them to leave to join their friends. In that case, make sure you ask yourself the question: “why won’t he just break up with me?”.
As mentioned, we all need to feel wanted, cherished, and connected when in relationships. Moreover, many of us need to be successful and generally useful at work and in our communities. It’s therefore especially important that those close to us notice those achievements and praise us accordingly.
As you can see, there are many potential signs he doesn’t want to break up with you. The key is to watch for any changes in attitude and interest whilst trying to stay as communicative as possible.
As always, make sure you put yourself first and check in with what you need as well. He’ll respect you more in the long run, especially if you also inject more kindness and understanding. From there, you’ll naturally want to keep growing together.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.