20 Things People in Great Relationships Have in Common
Being in love, feeling loved and knowing that someone loves you is the best feeling ever. It’s a feeling that is unexplainable, a feeling that can’t be described, a feeling that you don’t have words for, a feeling that makes you smile, a feeling that causes your heart to skip a beat, a feeling that makes you want to do right, a feeling that causes you to change so you can be a better person.
So what does it take to get to this?
Everyone wants a great relationship. A relationship, where there’s give and take, a relationship built on trust and honesty, where there’s compromise and selfishness is put aside, a relationship where the foundation is God, where pride is put aside; a relationship where there’s support and no competition, where’s there’s commitment, respect, honor, value, and appreciation.
It’s not impossible to have a great relationship, the problem is, most people have a false perception of what a great relationship look like, and they tend to want to their relationship to look like the relationship of their parents, friends, and even those on television, and we all know that the relationships on television are not real. The relationships we see on television are a figure of a person’s imagination, and many people fall into this trap of wanting their partner to be the person they imagine, and they want their relationship to mimic the relationship they create in their mind, which is only an illusion.
People who enjoy great relationships
People who have great relationships understand that having a great relationship is not hard, they understand that they have the ability to create the relationship they desire, and they know it’s possible to have a loving and lasting relationship based on reality. People who have great relationships, are willing to put in the work, they are willing to put in the time and effort it takes to build and sustain a relationship, and they are willing to give up “I” for “We.”
Great relationships don’t just happen
Great relationships are created by two people who want to be together, who are committed to each other, and who want to build a relationship with a healthy foundation, where there’s mutual respect, honesty, commitment, and trust. These are people who really want to make it work, and they have different relationship characteristics that sets them apart and help them in their ability to build a healthy and loving relationship. There are many attributes that contribute to the success of every relationship, and two people who want to be together, and who want to build, sustain, and maintain their relationship should put in the work, time and effort it takes.
I’m sure there are some things about your relationship that gives you peace about being with the person you’re with, gives you confidence that you’re with the right person, and gives you an assurance that you’re in the right relationship, and that’s awesome. However, relationships take continuous work and effort to maintain, and couples who have great relationships know that there are some key attributes that makes being in a relationship easy, especially if you’re with the right person and if your relationship is built on the right foundation.
Remember, there are no perfect relationships and those who are in great, loving, healthy relationships have the following attributes in common; they
- Enjoy spending time with each other
- Trust and support each other
- Have fun together
- Share core values and beliefs
- Agree and disagree respectfully without hurting each other’s feelings or being mean on purpose
- Don’t try to change each other and are free to be who God has called him/her to be
- Have individual and relationship boundaries, and respect those boundaries
- Invest in the relationship, and spend time identifying ways to enhance themselves and the relationship
- Love each other unconditionally, and don’t put a price tag on their love
- Accept and respect each other’s’ differences, flaws, & past
- Don’t play emotional and manipulative games with each other
- Make time for friends, family, and each other
- Communicate openly, honestly, and clearly
- Balance their relationship, and their personal and professional life
- Positively enhance each other’s life
- Don’t hold grudges, and forgive each other with no problem
- Listen to each other without interrupting and are not so quick to give an answer, but they listen to understand
- Don’t allow people and social media to control their relationship
- Don’t bring up the past and use it against each other
- Apologize to each other and mean it, and they don’t take each other for granted
Remember the relationship I described in the beginning, it takes all of these attributes and more if you want to have a great relationship, a loving relationship, and a healthy relationship. It’s not hard, it’s not impossible, it takes work, and two people who want to be together and who want to put in the time and energy, and that’s what couples who have great relationships have in common.
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LaWanda N Evans
Professional Counselor
Dr. LaWanda N. Evans specializes in helping couples build and maintain a healthy, loving, lasting, strong relationship. She teaches couples how to communicate to be heard and understood, how to manage conflicts and find solutions to the most difficult problems affecting their relationship, using the Gottman Method Couples Therapy approach. She provides relationship counseling, education, and development that focuses on improving communication, managing conflicts, affair recover, and premarital counseling and education. Dr. Evans is a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, Healthy Relationship Expert, Relationship Therapist, Speaker and Author.
(LaWanda is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Dallas)
