We are who we are and we cannot change that. This kind of thinking is not a healthy one and will not help while maintaining a relationship. Our habits are something that structures us, it defines us, it defines our friend’s circle, and it defines how we were raised.
Though by the time we are old enough to get into stable relationships, they are long set on stone and it is practically impossible to change them.
That may be the case but, we should also keep our loved ones in our mind. They are part of our life, a very important part, and it is our duty to provide a happy and healthy environment for both of us. What we mostly neglect or do not think about is how our bad habits are affecting them.
How tired are they getting from our tantrums or just life habits that are not acceptable to them?
And because they love us they try to not mention them on a daily basis or at the time at all. Which, again, is not healthy. It results in couples holding their frustrations to the point when it all bursts out like a lava and there is no going back.
Here is the list of not so suitable habits that would help you flourish your relationship
Okay, this is a no-brainer. You have to be attentive. Sometimes when you have had a hard day at work and you get to your home and you want nothing else than to just vent. At that moment in time, you are not looking for advice, or people telling you their personal experiences.
You just want an ear to listen and a shoulder to put your head on after the venting is all said and done.
If you find your partner inattentive or if they put you aside for some other ‘important’ work, how would you feel?
We, as humans, have innate need to be valued and loved and desired. If any of those needs are not fulfilled, we lash out.
2. Work comes first
Though it is true to some extent as we all need jobs to pay the bills and keep that electricity afloat, don’t we? As, romance does tend to fizzle out when there isn’t any electricity. Do you get my drift?
However, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Career is important but, schedule some quality time together. Do something fun and unique. Be there for each other and create memories. As mentioned above, no matter how career oriented the couple is, the innate desire to be loved is still very much there.
3. Denial and deflect
Couples, around the world, go through ups and downs.
We have dry patches and some rough ones. But, if they are the one and the relationship is important to us, we make it work.
However, there are times when we start to sense that perhaps the route our relationship has taken is not a good one, and the time has come to bow out.
But, perhaps the time of the year is not correct. Maybe the holidays are near, or valentine’s day, or someone’s birthday. Whatever the reason may be. And you, instead of talking it all out, start to deflect. You immerse yourself in work and use it as an excuse to avoid talking about anything of importance, your relationship for instance.
This may prolong your committed status for a bit longer but is not a healthy one. It is like a Band-Aid, just rip it out and have an honest and open conversation, you owe your partner that at least.
4. Financial secrets
You are partners. You share a home, family, accessories, life, but are hesitant to share money? That is definitely not a good sign. It can raise a lot of, well-placed, red flags in your partner’s mind.
If you are not willing to share the financial side of your life with someone who can one day potentially be the parent of your child then it is high time to change that habit or maybe you are not in the correct relationship.
5. You do not have their back
Last but not at all the least. This one is extremely important. The word partner means someone who is our equal. It is a relationship of giving and taking – whatever our partners need. It is our duty to fulfil those needs. Be it support, assistance, love, comfort, fight, anger.
If you are reluctant or not empathetic to your supposed loved one at their time of need, you need to have a hard look at yourself in the mirror. They are our better halves. Halves that makes us a complete whole. They are our support and would do the same for us.
Work on yourself. It will be a slow process but it will be worth it.