Breaking up isn’t easy – especially if you are still in love with your ex. If you’re looking for signs the breakup is temporary, and your relationship may not be as “broken” as you thought.
When you and your ex broke off things, you probably never imagined hearing from them again. Then suddenly, they’re back in your orbit – hanging out with mutual friends, asking about you, and shooting you the occasional friendly text.
Are they just being sweet, or do they want to get back together?
If you daydream about getting back with your ex or wondering if they’re still madly in love with you, your unanswered questions can be haunting.
What are the types of breakups that get back together? Keep reading to find out.
“Is my breakup temporary?” you may wonder? If you and your ex are learning how to talk things out, take it as one of the obvious signs you’re getting back together.
5. They reminisce with you
One of the clearest signs you’ll get back together with your ex is if they are always looking for opportunities to reminisce with you.
Sharing a memory about a funny inside joke, a sweet or tender moment, or a passionate kiss is your ex’s way of trying to reconnect with you. They’re encouraging you to focus on all the amazing moments that made up the good parts of your relationship.
6. They reach out during trials
One of the biggest signs you’ll get back together after parting ways is if your ex reaches out to you in times of trouble.
Stressful situations at work
These are all trials that may draw your ex back into your life. This temporary breakup sign shows that they trust you and look to you as a source of comfort.
7. They ask about you through friends
If you hear that your ex has been asking your mutual friends about you, take this as one of the bigger signs you’ll get back together.
It’s natural to be curious about someone you used to love, but if you repeatedly hear about your ex inquiring if you’re still single and what you’ve been up to these days, it may be a sign they want to be in your life again.
8. You have both been working on your issues
One of the signs that the breakup is temporary is if you have spent time apart working on your issues.
Too many times, couples use a break as a chance to play the field and sow their wild oats, as it were. If you and your ex have used your solo time to work on yourselves and grow as people, you can be sure you’ll come back together stronger than ever.
9. A sincere apology was given
One of the types of breakups that get back together is where a sincere apology is given for the part either spouse played in the breakup.
Hearing an honest apology from your ex shows growth and can release you from the anger and hurt that led to the breakup.
If both partners can forgive each other, take it as one of the biggest signs your breakup is not permanent.
10. You’ve been through a temporary breakup before
The biggest types of breakups that get back together are the ones where breaking up isn’t a shocking heartbreak – it’s a pattern.
Studies show that on-again, off-again relationships (otherwise called relationship cycling) are associated with anxiety, depression, and psychological distress symptoms.
Going through an “amicable breakup get back together” cycle can give you the perspective you need to return to the relationship with renewed confidence or drag you into a toxic circle that’s hard to break out of.
11. You both still get jealous
One of the biggest signs the breakup is temporary is if your ex still feels that familiar pang of jealousy when they see you with someone else.
Of course, there is always a little bit of weirdness when you see your ex happy with someone new, even if you aren’t itching to get back together.
Even so, signs you’ll get back together include:
Your ex asking your friends about your new boyfriend/girlfriend
Finding out your ex was creeping your social media
Your ex asking you about your new partner/acting jealous
Watch this video if you want to overcome jealousy in three minutes:
12. They’re on their best behavior
Is my breakup temporary? If you notice your spouse is acting like they did when you first met, the answer is probably.
The longer we are with someone, the more we relax. We don’t try to impress them like we did when we first met.
If your ex has gone back to trying to sweep you off your feet, take it as one of the signs it’s a temporary breakup.
13. You’ve focused on self-improvement
The biggest types of breakups that get back together are the ones where you focus on self-love and improvement during your time apart.
Use the time away from your past lover to focus on yourself. Nourish your soul. Chase your dreams. Cherish your hobbies and passions.
As self-love develops, you gain a better understanding of what you want from a romantic relationship and how you need to grow to serve a partner better.
One of the signs you’ll get back together is if your ex always seems to be finding ways to get next to you.
“I can’t find my favorite shirt. Maybe it’s still at your place? Mind if I come over?”
Planning social events with mutual friends, knowing that you’ll be there, or looking for ways to ensure the two of you are hanging out together clearly indicates that they’re not done fighting for your relationship.
15. You previously agreed to make the break temporary
One of the most obvious signs the breakup is temporary is if you both agreed that you weren’t “breaking up” so much as “going on a hiatus.”
Deciding you are on a break means that you mutually chose to temporarily separate to see what would life be like without each other.
Establishing that you’re just taking time apart is one of the biggest signs it’s a temporary breakup.
How to get your ex back: 5 important tips
If you want to be one of the types of breakups that get back together, keep reading. These are five important tips for an “amicable breakup get back together” situation.
1. Establish ground rules before “going on a break”
Too many “temporary breaks” have been ruined due to a lack of planning.
If you really want to get your ex back after your relationship hiatus, you and your partner should set down some ground rules before you go your separate ways.
Are you comfortable with each other dating other people while you’re apart?
How much contact will you have during the break? (Eg. Occasional texting is okay, but calling and seeing each other in person is not)
What will you do about spending time with mutual friends during the split?
How much will you share about the split and your rules with your friends and family?
Once you figure these things out, you’ll be able to use your time apart to evaluate the relationship and come back together stronger.
2. Do you really want them back?
So you want your ex back. Where do you begin? Start by asking yourself why you want to get back together.
Do you feel like you didn’t give your relationship a fair chance or are you just lonely? Giving yourself an honest answer will determine whether you and your ex should get back together.
One of the biggest signs the breakup is temporary is if you are using your time apart to grow as people.
More signs you’ll get back together include asking mutual friends about each other, staying in contact, resolving past issues, and apologizing for the wrongs committed.
If you want to get back together with your ex, establish ground rules before going on a break. Ask yourself why you really want them back, take things slow, and be honest with them about your goals and desires.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.