5 Tips for Maintaining Sex Life After Having Children
Life after marriage is like reincarnation. You come back from office, have dinner and then ensure that your kids are sleeping in their rooms. By the time these tasks are completed, you’re half lost in dreams. Pillow talks are not pragmatic anymore. Priorities have changed.
If this is happening a lot lately, you need to recall the fun times of past and try to give yourself a breathable change. Maintaining sex life after kids is mandatory because intimacy is important for any relationship to work. So why not take some tips and be a pro at it?
To get you through the pain of not being able to manage kids and sex life together, we have some tips. Let’s make your bedroom moments smooth.
1) Plan the sex dates
Yes. Plan it. You might have heard that intimacy comes with the flow, that one cannot simply plan sex dates. But once you have some kids around, better to plan. Keep a track of time when the kids are not around and you don’t have other business to finish.
Plan the time when you are not under any family obligation. Do not keep intimacy at the bottom of your priority list.
2) Keep a check on doors
Children do not understand privacy (at least most of them don’t). They are not used to knocking doors before entering. So better lock the bedroom door. There might be instances when your kids are sleeping and there is no chance of them getting up. Still. Take precautions. You never know.
Let’s just keep it locked in order to safeguard against surprise visits.
Also, this will ensure that you have time to get back to your normal self. You don’t want to hush after hearing footsteps of kids entering the room. That will be a scary/scarring sight for your kids.
3) Leave surprise notes
Surprise notes or cute reminders are a must to keep the spark alive like before. Recall how during the dating days, you used to send cute messages with hidden signs of affinity. You need to revive that.
Put a note on his/her computer table or keep it on the towel. Sometimes, keep it in the briefcase or text some cute message with quite a visible display of the agenda, *wink*
This will bring a smile on their face and will urge him/her to finish the work obligations as soon as possible.
4) Let the kids doze off
Ensure that your kids sleep on time or sometimes before the bedtime. Read that story and make them sleep in their room. After they sleep, you can get into action. You can have some personal time with your loved one without worrying much about the kids. And hey, sleeping early is actually good for them, right!
5) Plan your kid’s day out
You need some relaxation and alone time with your partner when you both can have the liberty of freely enjoying sex, alone at home. You can do this by hiring a certified babysitter (with good reviews and track record for safety), or by sending the kids to your parents or a responsible friend.
This will also work as an outing for your kids. Ensure you plan this and it is not spontaneous. Otherwise, it may create a mess in everyone’s schedule. Plan it thoroughly and make your kids feel excited about the same. If they feel sad about it, maybe they are not comfortable with the people and thus, always plan and talk first, only then execute.
The Bottom Line – Don’t put your marriage on the backburner after having babies. Keep up the intimacy level with consistent efforts. Follow these tips and see the difference!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.