7 Secrets to a Happy Sexual Relationship
Have you ever wondered what it is that keeps a couple happy and still in love for the long haul?
You are not alone, and this question of how to have a happy sexual relationship has been the center of many debates and studies the world over.
So it’s no surprise that the suggestions and solutions are many and varied, with each successful couple having their own special ingredient. However, there are some universal principles that can go a very long way to enhancing your sexual relationship.
This article will look at seven of these ‘secrets to good sex’ which are, in fact, not so much secretive.
These best sex tips for marriage are not mere bedroom ideas for couples. Instead, they are good practical habits to be cultivated if you want to enjoy the benefit of a happy sexual life with the love of your life.
1. Dispel the illusions
The first step towards a happy sexual relationship is, in fact, to be disillusioned, or in other words, to get rid of your illusions.
One of the biggest illusions which will rob you of a potentially great sex-life is thinking that when you find your perfect soul-mate, you will automatically, spontaneously and continually, have the greatest sex-life forever.
Similarly, it can also be a dangerous illusion to think that when you are having some sexual struggles, your relationship is in danger. This is simply not based on reality, and like everything else, which is worthwhile in this life, you will need to put some effort into it.
With patience, perseverance, and hard work, you and your partner can experience true, deep, and long-lasting sexual happiness in marriage.
2. Be attentive to each other
Paying attention is what it is all about a happy sexual relationship.
And, as human beings, each one of us longs for attention in some way or another. Being seen and heard, acknowledged, and appreciated is what everyone wants.
Remember how you used to gaze into each other’s eyes, and hang on every word your loved one spoke?
Well, if you have stopped doing that somewhere along the way, now is a great time to start again if you are aiming for a better sex life.
As you focus on being attentive to each other, really taking the time to notice the little things that are said and done, or not said and not done, you will get to know each other’s needs and triggers. Don’t ignore that tired sigh when your wife is unloading the dishwasher.
Go over and help her, and you may be amazed at how refreshed (and fresh) she may feel after that. Or that painful hunch of your husband’s shoulder may mean that he needs a good massage and back rub, which could even lead to more.
3. Talk about it
What do you do if you are not sexually satisfied?
Talk about it if you are looking forward to a happy sexual relationship.
And, this is one of the top sex secrets of happily married couples. There’s no better way to improve your sexual relationship than by talking about it.
This can be difficult for some couples, but once you take the plunge and get over your shyness and embarrassment, you will probably find that you start to feel much closer to one another.
If you want to understand what your partner enjoys, needs, and desires in bed, then you will need to talk about it.
It’s also important to continually reevaluate – don’t assume that something which he or she enjoyed two years ago is still the best thing for now. As the seasons of your lives change, so do you, so be open to try new things and see what currently works best for each of you.
You might like to have those kinds of conversations at some relaxed time when you are not actually making love, and then when the moment comes, all you need to do is mention some or other small adjustments which could enhance the experience for you.
4. Plan, plan, plan
Someone once said that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail – and this can also be true where your love life is concerned. Maybe you are objecting already with thoughts along the lines of ‘sex must be spontaneous; otherwise, it becomes formal and regimented…’
But think about this for a minute; everyone enjoys going on vacation, but there are very few people who will spontaneously decide to take an airplane today and go to your favorite holiday destination.
For most of us, the annual vacation is carefully planned and anticipated the way in advance. And what about those hobbies that you enjoy doing, like cycling, fishing, reading or going to movies – don’t you think ahead and plan the time when you will do those things?
Exactly! So why not apply this vital element of planning to the delightful area of your love life, to spice things up in the bedroom?
If you know when it’s going to happen, you can both look forward to it even more and enjoy the anticipation as well as the participation of a happy sexual relationship.
5. Take care of your health and appearance
This is one of the primary sex tips for a happy married life. It’s essential to look your best, not only so that you can be pleasing to the eye for your spouse, but also for yourself.
If you look good, you will feel good about yourself.
For a happy sexual relationship, get enough exercise, and keep as healthy as possible. That way, you will have the energy and libido to enjoy the mood.
So, do whatever it takes for you to feel sexy and good about yourself, and your spouse will undoubtedly notice, too, and you can be sure it will enhance your love life.
6. Deal with the difficulties
One of the best sex ideas for long term relationships is not to neglect your physical or sexual complications.
If you have some physical or sexual difficulties, please don’t ignore them or accept them and think to yourself, ‘well, this is just the way it has to be…’
There is so much help available these days on ways to improve your sex life. So, don’t hesitate to find what you need to make your sexual experience the best it can be.
Whether it is erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, or any other issue, there is a solution that can bring relief and satisfaction to you and your partner. So, don’t settle for anything less while aiming for a happy sexual relationship.
7. Don’t stop trying
Finally, whatever you do, don’t stop trying. If you find your happy sexual relationship slipping into the proverbial ‘rut,’ step back a bit and take stock, and then try again.
You can browse for ‘sex ideas for married couples’ or ‘sex tips for marriage‘ online, and you can land upon some unique sex ideas for couples that might prove to be a magic bullet for you.
Remember that lifelong learning will keep you fresh and excited about one another. Enjoy the privilege of continually learning something new about your beloved and falling in love over and over again with the same person.
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Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.
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