Being in love isn’t enough to make a marriage work
The honeymoon phase will end. Eventually, your life will get monotonous with daily chores and you will feel that things aren’t as dripped in love as they were in the beginning. Being in love takes a lot of effort. The continuous investment of emotions keeps the relationship stronger.
You probably want to make some changes in your perspective and try out some new ways to win him back.
1. Give him some breathing space
We’re not saying you should forgive him. You are hurt, you feel betrayed and lied to, and no one can deny this, but to win your husband back from the other person, you want to be the partner he wants to come back to.
Understand he cheated because something was missing in your marriage. Or, if you believe he was at fault entirely, this certainly isn’t the time to crib about it. If you want to win him back, you will have to let some time go before discussing the issues.
Well, no one likes listening to naggers, try to make a list, and instead of complaining, have a heart-to-heart. Wondering about “is my husband leaving me for complaining too much or this or that?” will lead you nowhere.
Stop complaining and try to handle the situation with ease.
There are a couple of love languages people speak: some feel loved and appreciated when they get gifts, others when they are listened to and asked for an opinion, and some need just a bit of help in cleaning the house to feel respected and loved.
If you’re wondering how to win your husband back, this is a great way to make him yours again: learn his language.
Think and pay attention to when does he feel loved? Have you been doing things that make him feel respected and wanted?
If you are willing to win his heart back, try to find compassion in your heart. However, you can only do that if you reach the root of the problem. You need to find out if there was something missing from your marriage or it was entirely his fault.
If you don’t figure out if there is a problem that needs to be solved from your heart or it’s just how he is, getting him back may not work. You need to be sure of why it happened in the first place to win your husband back.
If it’s something that you can work on, you should be compassionate about it, but if it’s not, just know that it’s not the end of the world. Leaving toxic people and moving on is the best way to live, and you only live once!
5. Be happy
Mission impossible? Sounds like it for sure, but it’s crucial for you to refocus for a while, although all you can think about is, “My husband left me. How do I get him back?”
As marriage expert Laura Doyle writes in her book, “complaining about each other 1hr per week is not going to save your marriage” and no one got happier by doing so. If you want to win your husband over the other woman, you don’t want to go over all the reasons why he left in the first place.
You can learn how to win your husband back by consulting a relationship coach, who might recommend joint sessions, or he/she might work separately with them if you don’t want to go through it together just yet.
No one likes partners who cause drama. Yes, what you are going through is sensitive, and it’s a big event in your life, but it still isn’t a reason to create a huge, messy drama.
Getting back the love of your life can be a challenge, but for the love of God, please don’t have your family members helping you out. This is the drama we’re talking about. Leave them out and sort it out yourselves.
9. Leave him alone to get him back
It’s good to be apart sometimes because it can help us realize how much we love the other person and how much we miss them.
I know the one thing you can think about is how to win your husband back, but winning your husband back might mean you have to let him go for a while.
10. Think positive
Sometimes leaving things to higher force works well for both. You can write a little prayer for your husband to come back home and read it daily. Write down all the good things you have been through together, all the reasons you love him, and write about your future.
It will refocus your attention and will heighten your vibration too. If I’m asking myself will he ever come back, I am not sure he will. Rephrase your words and make an affirmation that he is coming back.
To learn more about the power of affirmations and thinking positively, watch this youtube video.
11. Let go of controlling him
Trying to be in control all the time is a sign you don’t trust him, or you’re doubting him and his abilities. No one likes being controlled, and more importantly – no one likes being with a person who makes them feel not good enough.
Make him yours again by showing him complete trust. Tell him you trust him with his decisions, and if he thinks this is the best for him, you support him.
This will make him wonder if he made a good decision, and he will see a new side of you that is not controlling, but it’s rather forgiving and understanding.
No one can tell you this. You can tell with your own intuition.
Sometimes spouses like to deceive themselves that the other one is coming back because they just can’t accept the reality and are afraid of being left alone, but you have to understand that you are capable of living on your own and of building your own happiness too.
Be the best version of yourself, and you will attract the right people to you. Either you will win your man back, or maybe you will attract someone new who will transform your life for the better.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.