How do you treat yourself? Are you gentle towards yourself, or are you perhaps too harsh? We often experience love as the feeling between two people, and what we most often overlook is our self-love language. What does self-love language mean? Words that we say to ourselves every day matter. They affect and reflect our relationship with ourselves. The things we say about ourselves are often much worse than any words we say out loud to someone else. What is the language you use to address yourself? Is it full of love and understanding, or is it dismissive and derogatory? Answer these quiz questions to find out how much you love yourself according to the language you use.
1. When you see a picture of yourself, what thoughts run through your brain?
A. I like what I see and I think I look great.
B. I notice and obsess over each imperfection.
C. Depends on what happened to me that day and how I am feeling generally.
D. I don’t like to look at any pictures of myself and so I rarely do it.
2. When you see yourself in the mirror what do you say to yourself?
A. Good morning gorgeous! You are limited edition.
B. I need to put on my makeup.
C. I am getting old. I need to take care of my physical look.
D. I love you. You went through a lot and you didn’t give up.
3. Do you compare yourself often with other people and how do you feel about it?
A. I never compare myself with other people.
B. I do compare myself with others because I always want to be first.
C. I feel bad when I compare myself with other people.
D. I do but I know i'm not as good as the others.
4. What do you think about your external appearance?
A. Self-care is important, but the external attributes are just a decoration.
B. It is extremely important to me. I take care of myself, and my wardrobe is always carefully chosen.
C. Appearances don’t matter, yet people suffer when they don’t have the resources to buy stuff.
D. I’ve never really been happy with the way I look.
5. Do you think you are better than other people?
A. Everyone is good at something
B. It's a long way to the top.
C. No, there are a lot of people who are better than me.
D. I am not. But I am trying every day.
6. What is the most common thing you try to convince yourself of to improve your self-confidence?
A. I don’t need to convince myself of anything.
B. That I am the best.
C. That I am good just as I am.
D. That I deserve better.
7. What does self-care mean to you?
A. Working on having the perfect body and social standing to make all your dreams come true.
B. Self-care means constantly improving yourself and your skills.
C. Focusing on your needs and ignoring people who hurt you constantly.
D. Taking care of your emotional needs, physical health and spirit.
8. How do you feel when other people succeed at something?
A. Great! I am truly happy when others succeed.
B. If they can do it, I can do it.
C. I congratulate them and think about the mistakes that stopped me from achieving the same.
D. I admire them, and think that I will never achieve something like that.
9. How do you react when you face a failure?
A. I stand up and try again.
B. I get frustrated as I know I am better than that.
C. I practice hard to not repeat the mistakes.
D. I dwell on all the things that have caused this failure.
10. How do you feel when you are around toxic people?
A. I set boundaries.
B. P2: I don’t spend time with people who don’t love me.
C. I always end up around people that hurt me.
D. I try to make things work.