When you’ve been married for a long time, you might think that a lack of communication in marriage is common. You get into a rut or a routine and you go into action mode to get everything done. Though you’re married to one another, it’s easy to take it all for granted and therefore over time communication seems to go away. What were once enjoyable conversations with one another turn into functional chats in the hallway. You may go an entire day without even talking to one another, and you probably think that this is normal.
Though the conversations definitely shift over time, the reality is that when you’re not really talking to one another it can cause bigger problems in your marriage. Marriage without communication, without exchange of thoughts, feelings and emotions is unsustainable. You might find that you’re not really mindful of making each other a priority, and so when the communication starts to slip the marriage can head into a danger zone. It doesn’t mean that you can’t fix it, but you want to be sure that you never take good communication for granted. There are some serious problems that can come about when the communication begins to suffer, and if you are aware of these and ensure that you keep things heading in the right direction then love will conquer all.
Here are the reasons that a lack of communication in marriage can really be problematic!
1. You don’t look to each other for support
This might not sound like a big problem, but it really is. When you’re married you should be the first person that each of you turns to for support, help, and respect. When that is lacking then you may turn to somebody else out of necessity, and this doesn’t often end well. When you’re not really talking or when you feel that you can’t talk to each other, then the support goes away and you become more like roommates.
How do you know if you’re not being supportive of your partner?
- You dismiss their concerns
- You don’t offer help when they are making decisions
- You criticize them too much too often, unnecessarily
- You don’t motivate them to achieve their dreams and aspirations
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When there is no communication in marriage between partners, except for, about things pertaining to your routines, understand there is inadequate support in your relationship.
Remember that you should always lift each other up and talk to each other, and so the two are very closely linked. When you focus on good communication then the support for each other comes much more naturally—and so when you make these both a priority you end up with a much happier marriage now and in the long term too!
2. You may feel like you’re living with a stranger
If you’ve had a couple of days or weeks where you’re not really talking, it can feel like you’re living with a stranger. Though you may not mean for it to happen, lack of communication in a marriage can make you feel like you have lost each other. If you don’t keep the communication going then you feel like you lose each other. If this continues over time then the intimacy eventually suffers, the connection is weakened, and you find it hard to find common ground. Lack of communication in marriage leads to divorce sometimes when there is nothing left to share, to talk about between two partners.
Lack of communication in marriage leads to divorce, beware of these signs that indicate that you and your partner have become strangers.
- Your partner is not able to read between the lines, he/she is unable to decipher your emotions
- Your sex life dwindles. On top of that other forms of physical connection like hugging, kissing become scarce.
- You have not dressed up and gone for dates for a long time
- Your communication is limited to discussing chores and finances
You may find that you argue more and spend less and less time with one another. Though lack of communication or no communication on some days may not be a problem, if this continues over time then you will have an undesirable situation and really crave that connection. Be aware of this and don’t let conversations be on hold for too long if you want to stay connected and in love.
3. This can rob you of your connection over time
You may wonder if it’s normal or if a lack of communication in marriage is a problem. Think of this scenario playing out day after day for an extended period of time. When you’re not talking you may very well be turning to somebody else. You may lose the connection, the love, the passion, or the spark that you once shared.
Poor communication in marriage can make you tempted to cheat. It can make you feel like being married isn’t quite what it used to be anymore. Everyone goes through rough times, but if you are aware of this and you make good communication a priority in your marriage then you will stay connected and ensure that you don’t head down the wrong path by losing each other.
Effects of lack of communication in marriage can be devastating to your relationship. It is important to identify and rectify all your marriage communication problems before things fall apart between you and your partner.
Read on some handy to counter lack of communication and fix all the communication issues in marriage-
- Take out 15 mins every day to talk about your day with your partner
- Pay close attention to your partner’s body language. It will help you understand your partner’s mood
- Listen to your partner attentively when he/she speaks. This will encourage them to have more such conversations with you.
Following these tips should help you overcome the communication problems in a marriage. Lack of communication is just one of the communication problems that couples encounter. Abiding by these tips will also help you let go of all forms of bad communication in marriage and embrace healthy communication, followed by meaningful conversations and deeper connection between you and your partner.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Mary Fisher