35 Effective Sex Tips You Can Try in Your Relationship

Some moments in a relationship feel easy, playful, and full of spark… and others take a little more intention. Intimacy shifts over time; it grows, softens, deepens, and sometimes gets a bit confusing.

What used to feel effortless might suddenly need fresh energy, or a gentle nudge in a new direction.

Couples often wonder, “Is it normal to want something different?” or “Are we allowed to experiment?”—and the truth is, closeness thrives when partners stay curious.

A few thoughtfully chosen sex tips can bring back warmth, confidence, and that sense of being truly connected. Love doesn’t stay still, and neither does desire; both flourish when cared for with patience, honesty, and a little courage to explore what feels good for both of you.

Why do sex tips matter in a relationship?

Sexual connection isn’t just about physical pleasure; it’s about feeling seen, wanted, and understood. Over time, routines settle in, comfort grows, and sometimes intimacy needs a little refreshing… not because anything is wrong, but because relationships evolve.

That’s where a few thoughtful sex tips can make such a difference. They encourage couples to communicate openly, try new things, and reconnect in ways that feel exciting again.

Even tiny shifts, a new approach, a slower pace, a more attentive touch, can create moments that feel meaningful, tender, and surprisingly rejuvenating. Intimacy thrives when both partners stay curious, patient, and emotionally present.

35 useful sex tips to spice up your relationship

Here is your chance at making your sex life sizzle again with the help of these marriage sex tips, or make love tips from our experts on how to have good sex.

So read the best sex tips for couples, practice what you learn, and you will soon be on your way to resurrecting a thriving sex life with your partner.

1. Communicate about sex

Communication is everything. It’s how you grow as a couple, solve your conflicts, and get to know one another better.

Research indicates that sexual communication is positively correlated with both relationship and sexual satisfaction.

The easier it is for you and your spouse to talk about getting dirty together, the happier your relationship will be.

One of the best ways to have better sex is to talk about it before and after. It will let your partner know what you want as well as how great it was.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Set aside a weekly “check-in” where you share what felt good and what you want more of.
• Use simple phrases like “I love when you…” or “Can we try…?” to make it easier.
• Share fantasies or preferences gradually so neither of you feels overwhelmed.

2. Create an atmosphere

One of the best sex advice for couples between the sheets is to set the mood. Creating a romantic atmosphere is easy. 

Start with a clean bedroom, light some candles, put on some music, have some drinks, and start romancing your sweetheart. It can be great after a stressful day or week. 

Sex is ultimately a result of what we do to improve our emotional and intellectual connection. One of the best ways to make sex more interesting is to treat sex as a culmination of reconnecting after a stressful day or week.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Keep your bedroom tidy and intentional so it feels inviting instead of stressful.
• Use soft lighting, a scent you both enjoy, or slow music to shift the mood naturally.
• Start with non-sexual closeness, like cuddling or talking, before moving into intimacy.

3. Roleplay

Doing a little roleplay in the bedroom is a great way to boost your sex life.

Let your imagination run wild and feel the heat radiating between the sheets.

Roleplay can bring fresh excitement into a routine and rekindle the spark, making it a valuable tip for long-term couples looking to reignite passion.

You can be the naughty babysitter, seductress secretary, boss, vixen elf, and magical mage. Whatever your fantasy is, roleplay it!

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Agree on simple scenarios, so neither partner feels pressured or awkward.
• Choose roles that feel fun rather than intimidating or too complex.
• Set a safe word or signal to keep the experience comfortable for both of you.

4. Use Toys

One of the best sex tips for married couples and a safe way to bring some aliveness into married life is the use of toys. 

Going together into the sex shop can be fun even if you don’t buy anything. It will feel thrilling just looking at the products.

If you are creating, some of them can be substituted with home items. For example, instead of the cuffs, you can use his tie or your scarves.

However, do not forget that one of the great couples sex ideas to amp up your sex life is by introducing sex toys into the bedroom. Not only will this spice up your routine, but it also helps women achieve orgasm faster.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Visit a sex shop together and explore what feels intriguing without pressure to buy.
• Start with small, beginner-friendly toys before introducing anything advanced.
• Discuss boundaries and hygiene before using any toy on each other.

5. Read dirty stories

For couples who aren’t into dirty movies but still want to spice things up, it’s time to read some dirty stories.

Erotica can really revamp sex in relationships. You can read it to each other or listen to audio erotica together. It would be helpful to find something that you both enjoy, and once you do, you can both take a step further and turn those words into your reality.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Pick stories or audio erotica that match both your comfort levels.
• Read aloud or listen together to build anticipation and curiosity.
• Use a scene or description you both enjoy as inspiration later.

6. Boost your oral skills

The “Kivin Method” is one of the best sex tips for couples to come around in a while.

While performing oral sex on your female partner, approach her from the side instead of straight on. This change of angle will heighten her pleasurable sensations and have her begging for more.

Similarly, when performing oral sex on men, females should use their mouth and hands for maximum pleasure. 

Oral sex is a game-changer.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Ask your partner what pressure, pace, or angle they enjoy most.
• Use your hands and mouth together to create layered sensations.
• Explore new techniques slowly, adjusting based on their reactions.

7. She comes first

Always remember this: When it comes to sex, once the guy is finished, the party’s over. So make sure you’re a good party host by ensuring your wife/girlfriend is always “served” first. Especially if you are married. 

One of the best sex tips for marriage is to prioritize your wife’s orgasm before yours. Unsatisfactory sessions between married couples can become a communication barrier and lead to conflicts.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Prioritize clitoral stimulation before penetration to increase her pleasure.
• Ask what rhythm or touch helps her reach orgasm more reliably.
• Stay attentive afterward in case she wants more or wants to change things up.

8. Make foreplay a priority

Foreplay is important. Really important.

Not only is kissing, touching, caressing, and pleasuring your partner a great way to connect before getting down to the deed, but it’s also a great way to ensure your female partner is going to orgasm.

Don’t underestimate its power. Don’t think of it as something that has to lead to sex. Try appreciating it and including it every time you have sex.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Spend at least 10–15 minutes on kissing, touching, and exploring each other.
• Treat foreplay as its own intimate experience instead of a warm-up.
• Alternate who leads during foreplay so both partners feel desired.

9. Get loud

Remember when you first moved in together, and you were able to express yourself as loud as you wanted during sex? 

Moaning is a form of appreciation when it comes to sex. When you moan, your partner understands what drives you crazy and where they need to focus more.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Encourage natural sounds rather than forcing anything.
• Tell your partner when something feels especially good—use your voice.
• Use moans or whispers to guide them subtly.

10. The C-A-T position

The Coital Alignment Technique, or CAT position, is great for women who find it difficult to orgasm from intercourse alone.

Begin in the missionary position with his body flat against yours, then tilt your hips up. Have him make a rocking motion instead of an “in and out” motion.

This way, you’ll be grinding against each other and giving your clit a real workout.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Adjust hip angles until both partners feel the right amount of pressure.
• Maintain a slow rocking motion instead of thrusting.
• Communicate throughout to find the most pleasurable rhythm.

11. Watch and play

One of the greatest bedroom tips for married life is to play voyeur for the evening, sit across from your partner on the bed, and give yourselves a private viewing party as you touch yourselves.

This process will turn you both on so much; it’ll be impossible to keep your hands off one another. Believe it or not, it will add the needed spice to your sex life.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Sit somewhere comfortable where you can see each other clearly.
• Start slowly with gentle touching to build comfort and arousal.
• Tell each other what you enjoy watching or want more of.

12. Use exercise as foreplay

There’s no doubt that exercise is good for your health. It improves your cardiovascular health, reduces stress, and leaves you with a bangin’ body.

But did you know that some women get turned on by exercise? Exercising also improves stamina, which helps you last longer in bed.

Even more of a reason to get fit with your spouse this year.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Try a workout together and tease each other with eye contact or playful touches.
• Choose activities like yoga or stretching that increase closeness.
• Compliment each other’s effort and appearance afterward to build desire.

13. Tie each other up

You may not be ready for whips and chains, but there’s always room for a little light BDSM play in the bedroom. 

Experiment with tying one another up or using handcuffs. Be open-minded and try some light bondage things. Please remember that variety makes your sex life better.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Begin with soft restraints, such as scarves or Velcro cuffs.
• Agree on a signal to stop immediately if something feels uncomfortable.
• Keep it playful—focus on teasing, pacing, and anticipation.

14. Grind, don’t bounce

One of the best sex ideas for couples is to put your partner in a cowgirl position and ask her to grind, not bounce, but grind.

A smooth grinding motion can create a deeper connection and greater comfort compared to bouncing, offering a more intense experience for both partners.

Quick, repetitive movements might feel exhausting, so exploring steadier rhythms can make the moment last longer and feel more satisfying.

However, Grinding will be much better for your stamina, and you’ll have a much better chance of having an orgasm due to the friction.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Experiment with different grinding speeds and angles.
• Place your hands on each other’s hips to guide the rhythm.
• Focus on comfort instead of intensity to make the experience last longer.

15. Play a sexy game or games

There are so many games to be found, so you have plenty of choices. Don’t worry if you don’t like some of the first ones you run into.

Start with the ones you find exciting yet not overwhelming. Over time, you will be ready to try new games and keep the thrill alive.

Buy some sex dice, play truth or dare, strip poker, or only tease each other during commercial breaks on the TV. These games build sexual anticipation and result in a whole lot of fun. This could be really exhilarating when it comes to loving couples having sex.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Start with light, low-pressure games such as strip cards or truth-or-dare.
• Set simple rules so the game stays fun rather than stressful.
• Add small rewards or dares to keep excitement high.

16. Dirty talk

Don’t be afraid of a little dirty talk now and again. Roleplaying or getting a little crude is a great way to turn each other on and live out a fantasy. 

Dirty talk is about letting yourself be free. It doesn’t have to be any messier than you are comfortable with. What you say doesn’t need to happen even. It can be only fantasy-based.

Think about what you would like to hear and share that too.

An important piece of sex tips for couples is to make sure to set the boundaries of unacceptable words.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Start with simple phrases like “I love when you…” or “You feel so good.”
• Set boundaries beforehand about what language feels okay.
• Use whispers to keep things intimate and less intimidating.

17. Mix it up

Don’t be afraid to mix up your routine every once in a while.

Instead of doing it in the evenings, have spontaneous morning sex. Instead of doing it in the bed, get naughty on the living room floor.

Good sex is good sex, and it doesn’t matter when and where, so don’t be afraid to break the routine.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Change one small thing each time, like location or timing.
• Add spontaneous touches or kisses throughout the day.
• Try a new position or setting once every week or two.

18. Don’t ignore the testicles

This area can sometimes go ignored, but the testicles can provide some serious stimulation to men.

The next time you please your guy, be sure to lick, suck, or gently tug or cup his balls for a sensation he’ll never forget.

Tease him, and you will be rewarded with a great sex session.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Ask what level of pressure feels best for him.
• Combine stroking or sucking with other stimulation.
• Move slowly and gently to avoid discomfort.

19. Mirror, mirror on the wall

One great sex tip for better sex is to watch yourself getting dirty in a full-length mirror.

Banish insecurities and watch the sexy way you enjoy one another.

This is great because it’s not as invasive or dangerous as recording yourselves in the act, but you still get to watch the good parts unfolding in front of you.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Position the mirror where both of you can see comfortably.
• Try a few poses or angles to find what feels most sensual and comfortable for you.
• Focus on what looks and feels good rather than on insecurities.

20. Watch each other

Great sex involves equal parts chemistry and vulnerability. You can open up your vulnerable side and make sex hot and meaningful by maintaining eye contact throughout. 

One of the best sex tips for couples is to reignite the passion in the bedroom by looking at each other.

Try replacing the flannel PJs with some sexy gowns, even though it is cold. The bed should also be a place where you come to communicate on a different verbal and non-verbal level, not just a place for rest.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Maintain gentle eye contact during key moments.
• Wear something that makes you feel confident.
• Slow down movements so you can both enjoy the visual connection.

21. Fantasize

Part of having a great sex life is being able to fantasize about your partner. 

Consider fantasizing as part of your dirty talk. Relay one of your favorite fantasies to your partner or create one, especially for them.

No matter how many years you have been together, if you can see your partner in a new sexual light, it can boost sex and relationships. Try it out and experience something you have never experienced before.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Share fantasies gradually to build comfort and trust.
• Pick one fantasy you both enjoy and try a simple version of it.
• Keep communication open so no one feels pressured.

22. Kiss like teenagers

Remember back when you first met your spouse, and nothing sexual had happened yet?

Those were the days when you could kiss for hours and hours, getting more turned on the longer it went.

The list of sex tips for marriage includes the release of feel-good hormones through kissing. Boost your immunity and lower your stress levels with a passionate kiss. 

Relive those days and make out shamelessly. Anything that will remind you of the fun couple you once were and can become again.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Spend several minutes kissing before anything else.
• Try kissing in different places around the house for a fun experience.
• Use your hands to explore slowly as you kiss.

23. Take your time

Great sex doesn’t have a timer attached to it. If you want to have better sex, make sure you have the right amount of time set aside for it. 

A quickie can only make you feel fine (sometimes), but if you take your time, you can have an unforgettable sex session that you need.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Clear distractions so you’re not rushed or stressed.
• Explore each other’s bodies slowly with intention.
• Take breaks to talk, kiss, or breathe together. 

24. Make a bucket list… For sex

Have you ever wanted to do it on an airplane? In the back of a car? Make a homemade dirty movie? Now is the time to get kinky with your spouse and make a dirty bucket list.

Not only will this inspire you both to try new things, but you’ll turn each other on just talking about it.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Write down fantasies separately, then compare lists.
• Pick one new idea each month to try together.
• Keep the list private so you both feel safe sharing freely.

25. Grind with your clothes on

So, the next time you’re feeling frisky, grind with your clothes on (as if you were teenagers again!)

The friction from the clothes will get her excited and may even make her orgasm; just make sure you’re not wearing jeans or harsh materials that could chafe either of you.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Choose soft clothing to avoid irritation.
• Start with slow, teasing movements to build arousal.
• Use your hands to guide pressure or rhythm.

26. Give him something to see

Visual stimulation often enhances intimacy for many individuals, so creating an engaging setting can heighten the experience.

The next time you’re getting down and dirty, be sure to keep the lights on so he can watch you work your magic.

All that sex in the dark makes you forget how amazing it is when it’s happening. Keep enough light in the room for him to look at you. It will turn him on more.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Turn on a soft lamp or candle so he can see you clearly.
• Move slowly and intentionally to build visual anticipation.
• Wear something that boosts your confidence.

27. The clit is everything

Most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, so don’t neglect this special area. It isn’t just for foreplay!

Be sure to stimulate the clit with your fingers, sex toy, or choose a position where it can grind against your partner for the ultimate pleasure.

Be vocal and ask her what you can do to heighten her pleasure. Tell her how much it turns you on to hear her groan. 

Follow her lead, and sometimes you have to take a step back and let her show you what to do and where to do it. 

There’s nothing sexier than knowing your partner is genuinely committed to blowing your mind.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Ask her what kind of motion or pressure she prefers.
• Use fingers, toys, or positions that allow direct stimulation.
• Check in regularly to adjust based on her pleasure.

28. Compliment each other

Everyone appreciates hearing positive feedback about their efforts, including during intimate moments.

The next time your partner does something you can’t get enough of, tell them so! Not only will this boost their ego, but it will let them know what turns you on the most.

Some sweet words go a long way! What human doesn’t feel a little insecure about parts of their body? 

We have these wildly insane standards we place on ourselves for how a woman or man should look, thanks to unrealistic social media images, which affects people more sexually than they can understand. 

With a few kind words, you can significantly help your partner feel more confident at the moment.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Praise specific things your partner does in bed.
• Give body-positive compliments frequently.
• Use warm, genuine words right in the moment.

29. Explore non-sexual touching

One of the biggest sex ideas for husband and wife is to explore non-sexual touching. It is no longer a surprise that physical affection, such as holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and massaging one another, is strongly related to relationship satisfaction.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Add small gestures, such as shoulder rubs or hand-holding, to show affection.
• Spend time cuddling without expecting sex afterward.
• Touch each other throughout the day to build a connection.

30. Sexy strip session

Does your partner love to see a sexy visual before getting down to business? Delight their senses by putting on your favorite “mood music” and doing a sensual striptease.

Engaging all five senses during intimacy can elevate the connection, creating a deeply fulfilling experience. Turn off some of them and put the focus on one. Blindfold them while focusing on the skin. Try playing some music that you use to strip dance while they are tied up and can’t touch you.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Choose music that makes you feel confident and playful.
• Keep movements slow and teasing rather than rushed.
• Add blindfolds or gentle restraints to heighten senses.

31. Be prepared so that you can be spontaneous

It was indeed easier to be spontaneous early in the relationship, as you took the time and care to get ready to meet your loved one.

After some time, you might have stopped dressing up for them as much. Try to bring it back by doing a bit of preparation that makes you enjoy being in your body.

When you feel good, you will find it easier to jump to each other at any chance you see.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Wear something that makes you feel attractive.
• Keep your space tidy so spontaneous moments feel natural.
• Flirt subtly throughout the day to build anticipation and excitement.

32. Treat all activities as if they lead to sex

Shopping together?

For every item they remember from the list, give them a sassy kiss. Sounds like quirky marriage sex advice? Try it!

When no one is watching, shake those hips. Driving home from the store? Stare them in the eyes to heat their crotch. Ask them what they would like for dessert and say no to anything that is not you— taking kids to the park?

Put a naughty note in their pocket to read while the kids are playing. Introduce fun back into your life, and great sex is going to follow.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Add playful touches or whispers during daily tasks.
• Leave flirtatious notes in unexpected places.
• Turn ordinary moments into small sensual surprises.

33. Make a habit of trying new positions

Every month, make a promise to try one new position. Commit to each other and hold each other accountable. And remember this sex advice – when you run out of ideas, do research. Just make sure not to get hurt due to some Camasutra spelling errors.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Choose one new position monthly and research safe tips.
• Adjust pillows or angles to make each position comfortable.
• Laugh together when something feels awkward instead of forcing it.

34. Talk. Ask. Appreciate

Your sex life is a reflection of what’s happening in your relationship. If your sex life isn’t where you’d like it to be, here are some tools you can use to ramp things up:

Get on the same page. Talk with your partner about your ideal sex life goals and listen to their desires.

Ask for what you need from your partner in life and the bedroom. Make a needs list and encourage them to do the same. Tweet this

Set aside a few moments each day to look each other in the eyes. This can be as you kiss goodbye in the morning or a moment to pause and appreciate each other while making dinner.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Have daily moments of eye contact or affection.
• Create a list of needs and share them openly.
• Celebrate small improvements in your intimacy.

Watch this video in which psychotherapist Esther Perel shares her insights on love, conflict, trust, desire, and healthier relationship growth:

35. Tease him

As much as he wants you to rip off his clothes, make him beg for it. Do a sexy striptease, kiss his thighs, do whatever you have to do until he can’t take it anymore. Dominate him

Don’t necessarily break out the latex and whips (unless you’re into that kind of thing). Take control of him. When you’re on top, try putting his hands behind his back, and you own the position and embrace being in utter control.

Here’s how you can approach it:

• Slow down your movements to build suspense.
• Take control in a way that feels empowering and fun.
• Use kisses, light touches, or stripteases to keep him wanting more.

In a nutshell

Intimacy isn’t a single moment; it’s a rhythm you learn together, slowly, patiently, with curiosity. Some days feel effortless, others need a softer touch… and that’s okay. What matters is staying open, paying attention, and enjoying the small shifts that bring you closer.

Even a few good sex tips can spark a deeper connection, reminding you how much warmth and playfulness still live between you. Let your relationship grow at its own pace, celebrate the progress you make, and keep choosing each other in ways that feel tender, exciting, and beautifully real.