Is there a lack of sex in your marriage? I think that everyone has been there once or twice in their lives. But there are tangible ways to improve your sex life. Don’t give up hope. Don’t start to rely on things outside of your marriage to “spice it up”. Sex can be vastly improved if both spouses agree to work at it. Here are three ways to do just that:

1. Have sex more often

There are a couple of things that happen when you make sex a priority. The first is that you will want more of it. It has been a fact in my own life, as well as numerous other couples I have spoken with. The more you have sex, the more you want sex. Try it, it’s true.

Read More: How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex

Second, it should get increasingly better. Sex is a physical activity. And just like any other physical activity, you need practice to become better. Think about it, are sports legends created over night or do they consistently work to be able to perform the way they do? The answer is obvious. While there may be some naturally better than others, everyone needs practice in order to reach their true potential. Practice makes perfect.

Don’t get me wrong here, I am not saying that you must have sex every single day. I know that is not feasible for most people. I am saying that you need to have more sex in order to make it better. Maybe increase the amount of times you are doing it by just a little. You must be intentional about it. When you do, your partner will begin to know your body more and you will begin to know your partner’s. Once you know how to navigate each other’s body and how to push each other over the orgasmic edge, that is when sex becomes amazing.

2. Turn the lights on

Have you heard that men are visual? Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I bet you know that men are visual beings. (I know there are women that are visual too!). Because of this, it only makes sense leaving the lights on during sex would heighten the experience. Here is an article that talks a little more about that topic: http://shaunti.com/2017/07/5-reasons-leave-lights-sex/

But, alas, it can be difficult to be comfortable in your own skin. And if you are anything like me, a woman, you have a hard time loving the way your body looks. This thought process makes it incredibly uncomfortable to want to have the lights on when you’re naked!

Trust me here, there is no need to feel badly about how you look because nine times out ten, your husband thinks you look amazing; especially naked. Once you realize this fact, take charge of your self-esteem in bed. Make it a habit to be confident with your body.

On the other hand, men, try to make sure your spouse knows how much you love seeing her naked. Tell her how beautiful she truly is. This alone will help your spouse to be much more confident and open to having those lights on!

3. Speak openly

Being able to have an open, honest conversation about your sex life is vital. Sex can improve in any relationship but both people need to be able to voice their needs without embarrassment. Are you creating an environment where both you and your spouse feel comfortable talking to each other about these things? Or are you creating an environment in which you expect your spouse to be a mind reader?

Listen, expecting your spouse to read your mind about anything is ludicrous. Expecting your spouse to know exactly what you want in bed is just not realistic. Try practicing saying what you like and what you don’t when having sex. Encourage your spouse to continue to do the things that feel great and, without being hurtful, explain the things that aren’t so great.

These conversations can be a tad awkward at first. Yet being able to talk about these things will not only make your sex life better, it will enhance your overall relationship. Speak with your spouse today about being more open with each other in bed.

There is no magical fix when it comes to sex. People are not born with exceptional love making skills. It takes work and intentionality to create and maintain an amazing sex life with your spouse. I truly believe that, if you start putting these three things into practice, you and your spouse could enjoy better sex in your marriage today!