The ADHD Effect on Marriage: 8 Ways to a Better Life
When you’re in a relationship, you expect respect, love, support, and absolute dependability from your partner. However, these expectations might not work when you’re living with someone with ADHD.
A person with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), also known as ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), has different traits that may be difficult to handle when they are in a relationship.
The ADHD effect on marriage is terrible and irreversible if the other person refuses to understand things at the right time.
Let’s understand what is the effect of ADHD on marriage and how you can survive being married to someone with ADHD.
Also watch:
Negotiate on your ego
When you’re living with a spouse with ADHD, you have to make a choice between you being happily married or you being right.
We all know that people with ADHD prefer to be right and authoritative. They simply can’t accept the defeat easily. For them being right is essential.
However, when you start to prove them wrong, you step into their comfort, and this might put a strain on your relationship.
Hence, you’ve to choose either being right or being with your partner.
Accept their imperfection
We all can agree that each one of us has some flaws. No one is perfect; the moment you start acknowledging this, things will start to look better.
As a couple, you may have certain expectations from each other, but these expectations can be very burdensome.
The ADHD effect on marriage is that you find yourself stuck in a place with no exit.
The more you pay attention to the ADHD of your partner, the more frustrating and stressful your life starts to look.
So, to ensure that your relationship can move forward, you should try to make peace with some of the ADHD tendencies of your partner. Implementing this change in you will have an immense impact on your marital satisfaction.
Define your own space
ADHD and relationships don’t always mix well together. While in a relationship, you would expect your spouse to appreciate you and look beyond oneself, they would do precisely the opposite.
Thus the ADHD effect on marriage is quite severe. You must find out ways to adjust things accordingly. The best way to do so would be to have your own space.
You must find your own space in the relationship wherein you can feel free and not feel bogged down by the ADHD issues of your spouse.
Once you are in that space, you can process your thoughts more freely and constructively. This space will give you time to rejuvenate and bounce back with a positive attitude.
Remember why you love them
How ADHD affect relationships? It might change your partner to the extent that you would want to end your relationship then and there.
The constant criticism and the demand for attention will put you in the backseat where you would find it hard to live with such a person.
However, you have to think long of hard before you even think of walking out of the relationship. Think about why you’re in matrimony with them.
Look for what is good in your partner. See if they still have the qualities that made you fall in love with them. If they have changed, then asl yourself if you can make the compromises needed for your marriage to work.
The intent must be to not give up on your relationship before you have exhausted all the alternatives to save your relationship.
Learn the importance of forgiveness
It’s never easy to forgive someone, but when you’re deeply in love, you must learn forgiveness in marriage.
One of the ADHD effects on marriage is that it often pushes you to the edge where things go out of hand and control.
No matter how difficult the situation is, you must learn to forgive your spouse with ADHD.
ADHD is a part of their character that you simply can’t ignore. When you’re living with someone who has got ADHD, you must learn to forgive them for their behavior. The sooner you learn this, the better your life will be.
Smartly manage your conflicts
Every fight doesn’t deserve your attention. You must understand this. There will be conflicts and struggles that are worthless, and then there are conflicts that deserve your complete attention.
You must learn to prioritize your fights and conflicts and then put your best foot forward.
Become a team
The ADHD effect on marriage is that it often puts couples against each other.
When you’re fighting against your partner with ADHD, there is hardly any chance you’re going to win over the argument.
Instead, what you must realize is that conflict in a relationship should not be allowed to put you two against each other instead, you must unite to fight the issue and not one another.
So, by playing smart, you can always be a team. When you stand next to them in argument or differences, your partner will have no opponent to fight, and then the disagreement will dissolve as quickly as it started.
It’s not going to be an easy task; hence, whenever you find yourself against your partner, think of regrouping and becoming a team. This will help you a lot.
Try consulting an expert
If you think that the ways as mentioned above are not working out and you’re finding it hard to adjust living with an ADHD spouse, try consulting an expert.
The expert will hear out all your issues and will help you find a better way out of the issues. Try couple-counseling as well for better and strong bonding.
Share this article on
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.