What is Relationship Anxiety and How can you Deal with it?
Anxiety at the beginning of a relationship isn’t something very uncommon. But what is relationship anxiety?
Dating anxiety happens because you wonder that the person you like so much, will turn out the way you thought them to be and will you be able to meet their expectations?
When you don’t know a person inside out and are trying to build a future together, it is only normal that new relationship anxiety ensues.
Anxiety and relationships aren’t mutually exclusive, especially in the initial phase of courting. In fact, love anxiety, the feeling butterflies wings fluttering in your stomach, that makes dating so much more exciting and enticing.
But, there is a negative side to anxiety. When you wonder if anxiety is ruining my relationship and feel so insecure that you aren’t able to function properly. When you start doubting your partner, yourself and contemplate things like taking a relationship anxiety test!
Relationship anxiety or relationship stress is a real issue that people struggle with. It isn’t just a fear of commitment but actual stress and worry that arise at any stage of a relationship.
This anxiety can actually hinder love lives no matter how badly the person experiencing the anxiety would like to find love. The worst part is, it can actually grow worse as a romantic relationship becomes more serious.
The mind is very complicated and some minds respond negatively to one of the most enjoyable aspects of life; love. Rather than taking in every moment, those with anxiety issues are plagued with worry, fear, doubt, and insecurity.
If this describes you, you’re certainly not alone. You will find the answer to how to get over relationship anxiety in sections below.
But before jumping on the quest to how to deal with relationship anxiety you must understand the signs, symptoms, and causes of anxiety issues.
Relationship anxiety symptoms
Those with relationship anxiety can experience a wide range of symptoms, all of which can compromise romantic relationships. Let’s go over some of the common symptoms:
1. Fear of being judged by a partner: Those with anxiety pertaining to relationships may have low self-esteem. Due to low self-esteem, they fear negative judgment from their partner. Unlike others, negative judgment will take a huge toll on those with this issue.
2. Fear of being left by a partner: This would be the ultimate rejection and intensify fears.
3. Fear of intimacy: Emotional vulnerability presents a difficulty. Love anxiety symptoms are characterized by a fear of intimacy.
4. Neediness: Always wanting to be around your partner and the need for constant affection.
5. Causing conflict in the relationship when everything is going well: This is also called push-pull behavior. After causing conflict those with the anxiety problem encourage closeness.
6. Inappropriate jealousy: This is an extreme form of jealousy that goes beyond simply guarding a relationship you cherish. If you are the spouse or you have a spouse with anxiety and anger issues, it could be because of inappropriate jealousy.
7. Feeling compelled to test your partner: This is done in an attempt to test a partner’s love and commitment. Passing the test serves as reassurance.
8. Emotional instability: This can be in the form of increased sadness, impulsivity, irritability or anger.
9. Need for constant reassurance: Those with this type of anxiety need reassurance to ease negative feelings but the effects are only temporary.
10. Unnecessary defensiveness: Negative behaviors may present themselves as a result of overwhelming anxiety.
11. Anxiety attacks: Anxiety attacks may occur as a result of being flooded with negative thoughts and emotions.
12. Socially withdrawn: Becoming so consumed and concerned with a romantic relationship can cause a person to pull away from others close to them.
13. Lack of trust: The inability to trust a romantic partner caused by intrusive worries of being betrayed.
14. Inability to sleep: Worry can affect sleep cycles.
15. Decreased sex drive: This is a direct result of the stress caused by anxiety in a relationship.
These are the symptoms that depict how anxiety ruins relationships. They cause cracks into the relationships and eventually destroy everything that you have built together.
Causes of relationship anxiety
Like other forms of anxiety, anxiety associated with relationships has an underlying cause. This can be anything from being hurt in past relationships and can even go back to childhood.
Perhaps there was a lack of affection in the household or a fear of being emotionally vulnerable developed as a result of being exposed to negative relationships early on.
Although true, issues within a current relationship like relationship doubts can cause anxiety. Anything from a loss of trust to the way two people communicate can also cause the problem.
How to deal with someone who has anxiety?
Fortunately, imperfections in a relationship can be eliminated by taking the necessary steps to improve them.
This can be done by establishing more trust, making sure that both partner’s needs are met, making an effort to avoid negative language in the relationship and of course, continually working at improving communication.
Now, how to stop relationship anxiety? For information on how to get rid of relationship anxiety, you need to get help.
How to deal with anxiety in relationships – Get help
Although relationship anxiety disorder is not an official disorder, there is help for those with this problem. The best way to start dealing with relationship anxiety is by helping yourself.
You understand yourself the best, so commit to taking time to work on yourself. Many find anxiety reduction strategies helpful.
One really helpful strategy is plain acceptance. To ease your anxiety, you just have to accept it. By accepting your problem, you become more in tune with your mind and more specifically, your thought cycle.
Deep breaths, although overlooked, is a great tip for getting through those tough times. Taking a series of deep breaths encourages the body to relax.
Another effective strategy for overcoming relationship anxiety is going against your anxiety-filled thoughts. Developing the ability to know when your mind is playing tricks on you is a step in the right direction.
When the negative thoughts start coming in, question the thoughts rather than allowing yourself to be engulfed by them. You need to confide in your partner and let them know that you experience anxiety in relationships.
For a person living with someone with anxiety needs to understand how important giving reassurance in relationships is.
Those that need additional help with anxiety in a relationship should also consider seeing a professional.
Like anxiety, there is relationship anxiety help available. It can be treated with counseling and in more extreme cases, medication.
When any form of anxiety begins to interfere with daily life and becomes difficult to manage, never hesitate to get help.
Relationships are tough and we all have our worries, fears, doubts, and insecurities but they should never hinder love.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
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