One of the highlights of being in a relationship is having your partner by your side through thick and thin. However, has it ever occurred to you that you might need space in a relationship to figure some things out?
However, this is not what it means. In this article, we will explain the meaning of taking space in a relationship. Also, we will be looking at signs that tell you it’s time to request space from the relationship.
In her book, Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship, Dr Terri Orbuch mentioned the importance of having a working sex life. According to the research professor, good sex life is less important than having ample space in a relationship.
What does it mean to have space in a relationship?
People usually ask- What does space in a relationship mean when their partners begin to demand it. If your partner tells you, “I need space,” you don’t have to panic, neither do you need to start thinking that they are tired of you.
In reality, wanting space in a relationship is not a bad thing because it is usually the turning point for a positive move in the relationship.
Getting space in a relationship means carving out time to put yourself first and doing everything for yourself. During this time, you will make decisions that make you feel great and put you in a better disposition to handle your relationship properly.
When you are thinking of taking space in a relationship, it is important to provide balance. During this period, be careful not to drift away from your partner because it would look like you’re blaming them for what’s not.
It is important to mention that having space in a relationship is key in building it. Hence, when you need space in a relationship, or your partner does, it should be approached with understanding, and it shouldn’t affect your happy times as partners.
Dr. Marcus Benson, in his book, mentioned the need for space management in keeping a relationship healthy and alive. He further mentioned that relationships without the basic knowledge of space management have been ruined.
Here are some reasons why you need space in a relationship
1. To maintain your identity
Some people in a relationship have misplaced identities; they can’t remember who they were before they met their partners, and it could be disturbing.
Hence, seeking space in a relationship is a good opportunity to reconnect with your true self.
Some of these things are not significant to your relationship, but they have a way of making you and your partner annoyed. When you notice this, it would be wise to request space in the relationship to figure out how to make adjustments.
2. You don’t do anything until your partner’s approval
If you constantly seek your partner’s approval before doing anything, you need some space. This type of relationship can become a controlling one because your partner will always insist on knowing your every move.
If care isn’t taken, it can result in jealousy. To stop this, it is important to make some space by doing some things without anyone’s approval.
3. Their habits usually annoy you
One of the signs you need space in your relationship is if you are always annoyed by your partner’s habits. At this point, you need to take some space to reflect on the past.
If you remember correctly, before your relationship began, you were probably blind to your partner’s faults because you loved wholeheartedly.
However, after spending some time together, their habits annoy you. You need space in a relationship to see your partner in the same light which you saw them with at the beginning.
4. You don’t enjoy your partner’s company in public
If you don’t feel pleased with the idea of your partner accompanying you to any public place, then you need some time off to yourself.
The reason is, you no longer cherish your partner’s presence like before, and you have gotten tired of them. If you keep denying that you don’t need space in your relationship, it could make matters worse.
5. You don’t like spending time with them
When every relationship begins, both partners do not like to leave each other’s side. However, as the relationship gets older, some partners start drifting apart, unaware of the cause.
If you don’t enjoy your partner’s presence like before, it means the spark and passion that once existed in your relationship is no more. Hence, all you need do is spend time alone to retrieve this lost spark and passion.
6. You feel stressed and drained in the relationship
If you are feeling stressed and drained in your relationship, it is not a good sign. Most times, people don’t understand why they feel this way with the person they love. And this is one of the reasons why conflicts become a constant feature in the relationship.
When you notice this sign, you need space within the relationship because you probably have been focusing on your partner. It is important to have a life outside your relationship.
7. You are beginning to lose your individuality
No matter the amount of time you spend with your partner, the both of you cannot become the same person. This implies you will always have a separate mindset, wishes, viewpoints, and plans.
All these and more make up your individuality, and this implies your life outside the relationship needs to be functional.
When it starts to feel like you are losing your individuality, it is because you have not given yourself sufficient space to own up to yourself. With this sign, you need to take the bold step of focusing on things in your life that have meaning to you.
When you converse, you don’t feel the spark or interest that existed when the relationship started. In fact, if you also notice that saying “I love you” does not ignite any passion in you, then the connection is not there. You need to get some space to save your relationship.
When was the last time you had an intense romantic moment with your partner?
These days, you don’t see the need to spend some time in your partner’s arms, and you use excuses like work, stress, etc., to avoid such moments. This is a caution sign that space is needed in the relationship.
One of the strongest signs that show you need space in your relationship is when you start wishing you were single.
When you are not happy with your relationship, you will wish you were single again. The cure to this is giving your partner space to live your life and figure out yourself.
11. Your partner changes their schedule
When you notice that your partner has created an adjustment in their schedule, it might be a subtle way of informing you that they need space. All you need to do is respect their decision and give them space.
Use this opportunity to figure out how to make your relationship better.
In the book, Making Space: How To Live Happier by Setting Boundaries That Work for You, Jayne Hardy highlighted the importance of setting healthy boundaries to allow your relationships to thrive.
When your partner changes their schedule, it might be their subtle way of creating space and setting boundaries.
12. Your partner doesn’t want you interfering with their hobbies
If you notice that your partner starts to guard their hobby’s jealousy, it means they don’t want to let you in.
You don’t have to be pissed because they need space, but they have not found a way to tell you. To solve this, discuss with your partner, learn what they want and respect their decision.
If you notice that your partner answers your questions with short bullet points, it is an indication that they need space. All you should do to help is create space so that they can figure it out themselves.
Check out this video to understand how to have your partner open up and talk more:
15. You don’t like telling your partner where you are going
If you intend to go anywhere and you see no need to tell your partner, it could be that you don’t find their opinions useful anymore. This is a warning flag that you have to be careful of.
Take some space to figure out how to revive the vibes in your relationship.
Do you feel that things are turning sour in your relationship, or are you getting tired of seeing your partner?
It means that you need space in a relationship, and you have to be careful and considerate when informing your partner about this.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.