You start to notice that your anxiety over this thought is growing and is starting to interfere with your daily life. What can you do about it? Is this feeling of worry even normal?
How do you get over the fear of losing someone you love?
Before we start addressing the issue and the ways on how we can cope up with these intrusive thoughts, we first need to understand where all these thoughts are coming from.
Is the fear of losing someone normal?
The answer is a clear YES!
This feeling is normal, and all of us will experience it. The feeling of loss is scary. Even at a very young age, we learn how painful loss is.
From a baby who starts experiencing separation anxiety to a toddler losing a favorite toy- these emotions are frightening and devastating to a child.
As we grow old, we start loving and caring for other people, and this feeling will include the thought of losing them – which is completely normal.
Then, we get married and start our own family, and sometimes, things can happen that can trigger the fear of losing the people we love the most.
Did you know that the fear of experiencing death or just the fear of loved ones dying is called “Thanatophobia?” Some may also use the term “death anxiety” to describe the feeling of fear of your loved ones dying.
When you hear the word “death,” you immediately feel a lump in your throat. You try to divert the topic or the thought because no one wants to talk about death.
It’s a fact that we will all face death, but most of us wouldn’t even want to accept this fact because losing the people we love is unimaginable.
We just refuse to accept the fact that death is a part of life.
How does the fear of losing someone you love develop?
What makes people experience the extreme fear of losing the people they love?
For some, it’s from a series of losses or traumas surrounding death that may have started in their childhood, adolescence, or even in early adulthood. This can cause a person to develop extreme anxiety or fear of losing people that they love.
This fear often leads to unhealthy thoughts, and over time, it can cause the person suffering from death anxiety to develop control, jealousy, and even manipulation.
How do we know if what we are feeling is healthy or unhealthy?
The fear of losing someone you love is normal. No one wants to experience this.
We all worry and even feel sad about the thought of being left behind by the people you love, but it becomes unhealthy when these thoughts are already interrupting how you live your life.
It’s considered unhealthy when it already involves anxiety,paranoia, and a change in attitude.
3 Signs that you are experiencing the fear of losing someone
Worried if you are having unhealthy thoughts about the fear of losing a loved one?
Here are the signs to watch out for when you are experiencing the phobia of losing someone you love.
1. You become preoccupied with thoughts of losing the love of your life
This is usually the start of having unhealthy thoughts of losing the people that you love. While it’s normal to think about this once in a while, it becomes unhealthy when, upon waking up, you already imagine situations where you might lose the people you love.
You begin your day, and you notice that you start to associate the fear of losing someone with everything around you.
You watch the news, and you put yourself in that situation. You hear that something bad has happened to your friend, and you begin to associate this same event with yourself.
These thoughts may start as just small details, but over time, you will become occupied with these intrusions.
2. You tend to become overprotective
Once you start feeling anxious about losing the people you love, you become overprotective to the point that you can already be irrational.
You stop allowing your partner to ride his motorcycle, fearing that the person you love would encounter an accident.
You start calling your partner every now and then to check if everything is alright or you start to panic and have anxiety attacks if your partner fails to answer your chats or calls.
Have you said “I’m scared to lose you” to the person you dearly love?
Have you been in a situation where you love the person so much that you can’t imagine your life without them? That’s where the fear sets in.
Being scared of losing the person you love is also the fear of being abandoned.
You get used to being loved, and you become dependent to the point that you can no longer imagine your life without this person.
In fact, it’s not just death that causes this type of fear. Deciding to have a long-distance relationship, a third party, a new job, and any unexpected life changes can trigger the fear of losing the person you love.
But we have to understand that we’re alive, and being alive means we need to be ready to face life and all the changes that come along with it – including death and loss.
By offering help and support to other people dealing with the same problem, you are also giving yourself a chance to heal and be better.
By talking to the people who need it the most, you don’t only offer healing, but you are also building a strong foundation for yourself.
We will all experience the fear of losing someone we love. It’s natural, and it only means that we can love deeply.
However, if we can no longer control this emotion, it will begin to disrupt our lives and the lives of the people we love.
So try to do your best to cope with the fear of losing someone you love and, in the process, learn to appreciate the time you have now.
Love deeply and be happy. Don’t regret anything that you are doing for love, and when the time comes that you will face that day, you know that you have done your best and that the memories that you have shared together will last a lifetime.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.