5 Glaring Facts About Expectations in a Relationship

We all have different expectations in a relationship.

Some of these relationship expectations are developed early during our childhood; some are developed by observing the relationships of friends and families, while others are formed later in life as we become exposed to the media.

We live in a world that puts a lot of spotlight on finding the “perfect” relationship. 

From films to TV to the verses of tunes, we are shelled by messages about what love ought to resemble, what we ought to anticipate from our partners, and what it implies if our relationship doesn’t satisfy those hopes.

However, the truth regularly appears to be different from those ideal romantic tales we see and hear. It can leave us doubting the extent of our expectations?

Related Reading: Relationship Expectations What Should You Do with These?

5 glaring facts about expectations in a relationship

The article shares a few facts that can help you in setting expectations in a relationship.

1. You get what you expect

Being familiar with healthy relationships raises our expectations in a relationship, but observing failing ones can lower them just as easily.  So, couples should work on lowering expectations in a relationship.

They argue that if you expect less from your partner, you are less likely to be disappointed.

However, this advice is completely wrong. Donald Baucom, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina who has studied marital expectations for more than ten years, discovered that people only get what they expect.

Low expectations in a relationship lead to poor relationships.

People who have high expectations in a relationship are more likely to be in a healthy and happy relationship, while people who have low expectations tend to be in poor relationships where they are treated badly.

This research suggests that you are more likely to be in the kind of relationship you want; consequently, if you keep high expectations in relationships, you are more likely to be in a better relationship. 

It is recommended for couples settle for a good enough relationship.

In a good enough relationship, it is vital to have healthy relationship expectations about how you should be treated. People should expect their partners to treat them with love, respect, loyalty, and kindness.

They should be considerate and should take out time for their partners.

Your expectations in a relationship should indicate self-worth and should help you achieve a happy and healthy relationship, allowing you to connect with your partner more emotionally and intimately.

It is also advisable to discuss your expectations outside your relationship with your friends or family to ensure that they are setting realistic relationship expectations.

2. Arguments are good for a relationship

You are bound to argue with your partner even if he is meeting all your expectations in a relationship.

It would be foolish to expect to solve all the problems in your relationship as almost two-thirds of conflicts are permanent.  

However, conflicts and arguments are good for a relationship as they lead to a greater understanding between you and your partner.

Even though conflicts can draw out the worst in us, they can likewise reflect on who we are as an individual and as a couple. Conflicts enlighten us about how well we know each other.

Also, conflict presents us with a chance to realize how great we can be at dealing with issues in our relationships.

Despite the fact that nobody appreciates being in a conflict, its significance should not be undermined.

Related Reading: 10 Reasons Why Fighting Is Good in a Relationship

3. Your relationship can’t guide you to self-actualization

It would also be foolish to expect your relationship to guide you to a path of self-actualization or spiritual enlightenment.

Relationships can also not cure any traumatizing childhood wound, so make sure that you do not expect too much from your partner or relationship but do not expect to be treated poorly.

Make sure that your partner is not emotionally or physically abusive and treats you with respect.

4. Good friendship leads to a good relationship

You will know you are in a good enough relationship if you are good friends with your partner, have a satisfying sex life, and are fully committed to each other.

You must have trust and confidence in each other to overcome any differences in your relationship.

The significance of friendship in marriage can’t be exaggerated.

Research examining the data of a survey found that people who shared a deep friendship with their partners reported significantly larger levels of happiness than spouses who didn’t enjoy such a bond.

On the off chance that you aren’t friends with your life partner, the odds are that your marriage will flounder.

Physical intimacy can further your relationship only so much. Once you are married and things get hard, it is your friendship that helps you to get your life together.

Here are some ways to develop a friendship that can help you survive the rough times:

• Don’t stop dreaming together.
• Trust your spouse.
• Spend one-on-one time together.
• Open up and share.

Related Reading: 7 Characteristics Of A Good Relationship

Also watch: The importance of friendship in marriage:

5. There is no one right way to have expectations in a relationship

What works for one person may not work for the other. For example, one person might feel like they should always be greeted with a smile and verbal appreciation, while the other may not mind being left at the door or without acknowledgment when they are late. 

So, instead of trying to set expectations based on what you think they should be like or what feels right to you, sit down with your partner and talk about what both of you want from your relationship.

Relationship expectations– What should you do with these?

Make sure that you are there for your partner.

Make sure that you are there for your partner if he is going through a hard time and are supportive of his dreams and goals.

It is important to ensure that both of you are open to compromises and supportive of each other’s rituals, ethics, and beliefs.

Most importantly, both of you should be able to agree on some basic principles, such as what love is, what home is, and what is the best way to raise your children.

Expect this, and you will be a part of a healthy and happy relationship where you will be treated well.

How do expectations affect relationships?

Having expectations can be a good thing because it helps both partners understand the role and responsibilities of the other person in the relationship. 

However, if those expectations are unrealistic, it can create problems for the relationship because one or both people may feel let down when they aren’t met. 

For example, if one of you expects the other to always be there for you, but it’s a busy night, and you don’t get home until the early hours of the morning, your partner may be disappointed and feel lonely even though you have the best of intentions! 

Learning to set realistic expectations in a relationship and compromising when needed is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship. Relationship counseling is a great way for a couple to understand how to move forward with setting expectations.

More questions on expectations in a relationship

Check out more details on the topic below:

• What are common expectations in a relationship?

When two people are in a relationship, it’s common for them to have expectations about how the relationship will be. These expectations can vary from person to person, but they are usually based on how the people expect their relationship to look and feel. Here are a few examples of common relationship expectations that two people might have:

1. “I’m hoping to have a serious, committed relationship with this person.”
2. “I want to feel like I am a priority in this relationship.”
3. “I hope my partner will listen to me when I tell him how I feel.”

• What are good expectations in a relationship?

Some of the good expectations in a relationship include:

1. Make your partner a priority in your life. Let him or her know how much you value and appreciate them.
2. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Open and honest communication is an important part of any healthy relationship.
3. Don’t keep things bottled up or secret from your partner.
4. Make sure that you’re always honest with your feelings and your motivations for doing things.

• What should be my expectations when dating?

Here’s what your expectations should be when it comes to dating:

Be clear about what you want in your relationship but don’t put pressure on yourself or your partner to  have what you don’t have yet. A good relationship is a work in progress. Do what you can to improve things and accept that you can’t change everything about your partner overnight. 

Remember, love is a choice you make every day. Love doesn’t hurt. And the more love you give, the more you have to give.

Takeaway

Good expectations are healthy for any relationship because they help provide clarity and eliminate unrealistic expectations that inevitably lead to disappointment. 

However, it’s important to remember that you’re never going to be completely sure of another person or your relationship until you have been in it for a while. 

By communicating openly and honestly with each other, you can help each other overcome obstacles that may arise and develop a healthier, more fulfilling relationship that will last for years to come.