Workaholic Husband: Signs, Reasons & Ways to Deal

Is your husband working all the time? Does he miss out on special events or family dinners? 

Have you been researching ways on how to deal with a workaholic husband?

When you have a workaholic husband, this is something that might leave you feeling frustrated at times, but there are still things that you can do.

Read this article to learn more about how to deal with a workaholic husband, and you may start to feel better about your spouse’s work habits or at least learn how to work through them.

What does workaholism mean?

You can also ask, “What is a workaholic?”

Workaholism is like being addicted to work. It means spending too much time and energy on your job, often at the expense of other important aspects of life, like family or personal well-being. It’s like having a never-ending to-do list and struggling to step away.

Research shows that in the U.S., couples dealing with workaholism may face higher levels of stress and lower relationship satisfaction. 

Although striking a balance between work and personal life is crucial for a healthier and happier relationship, it might not look or feel feasible for a lot of couples living a busy life.

What are the effects of having a workaholic husband?

Living with a workaholic husband can impact both the individual and the relationship. On a personal level, it might mean less quality time together, causing feelings of loneliness and disconnect. The constant focus on work can lead to stress and burnout, affecting his overall well-being.

In a relationship, the effects can be challenging too. The lack of time and emotional presence may strain communication and intimacy. It might create a sense of imbalance, with one partner feeling neglected. 

9 key signs of a workaholic husband

A person is not a workaholic simply because they work many hours a week, but there are a few characteristics you may notice in those that are workaholics. Here’s a list of signs to look for when you think you might be married to a workaholic.

• They are at work more often than not.
• They are usually talking about work.
• They don’t have a lot of friends because they don’t spend a lot of time on anything besides work.
• They are distracted, even when they aren’t at work.
• They have trouble focusing and sleeping.
• They are not interested in many things other than what they do for work.
• They struggle to unplug from work, even during vacations or weekends.
• They go through work-related stress affecting their overall rest.
• They often abandon personal hobbies or interests in favor of work-related activities.

7 possible reasons for your spouse’s workaholic nature

If you feel like “My husband works too much,” there may be a good reason for them being a workaholic. There are several reasons why they might be exhibiting a workaholic nature.

• It’s needed

Sometimes, workaholic husbands have to work as much as possible to support their families. Your household may need the money, and he might be the only breadwinner. 

If this is the case, you may want to cut your husband some slack since he is working hard to take care of his family.

• They must stay busy

Some people must stay busy as much as they can. This means when they can do work, this is precisely what they will do. You should consider if your husband works all the time because he has a hard time sitting down and relaxing. This may be the case. 

On the other hand, a person may need to stay busy and work because they are ignoring other problems they face. This is something that you should also think about.

• They are addicted to working

Some men are addicted to work. Not all workaholics are addicted to working, but it is known as work addiction if they are. There are many myths about work addiction, but it is a real and troublesome problem.

• They have passion for the job

Your spouse’s workaholic nature might stem from a deep love for their job. When people genuinely enjoy what they do, they often find it challenging to step away, leading to longer work hours.

• They face insecurity or fear

Insecurities or fears of failure can drive workaholic tendencies. The constant need to prove oneself and the fear of losing a job push individuals to work harder and longer.

• There is a lack of boundaries

Difficulty in setting clear boundaries between work and personal life is a common factor. When there’s a blur between professional and personal time, it can result in extended work hours.

• They have workplace expectations

High expectations from the workplace, such as demanding bosses or tight deadlines, contribute to a workaholic nature. The pressure to meet these expectations may lead to an excessive focus on work.

11 ways to learn how to deal with a workaholic husband

It can be extremely challenging trying to figure out how to balance pushing for changes and accepting the circumstances. Your husband might feel cornered if you push too much, and without any changes, dissatisfaction will build up in the marriage.

Here are some techniques you can use when you’re wondering how to deal with a workaholic husband:

1. Enjoy the time you have together

One of the key ways to deal with a workaholic husband is to make the most of the time you are spending together. Don’t spend that time fighting when you can be doing something as a family. 

It may be necessary to start placing appointments at home in your mate’s schedule so that you can see them sometimes. This is just fine when you are married to a workaholic husband.

2. Tell them how you feel

Instead of yelling or accusing them of being a bad husband or parent, tell them this if your husband prioritizes work over family. Calmly explain to him how you are feeling, and you can decide together what can be done to fix this. 

In some instances, he may not know how you feel or how he has affected his family, so you should make your opinion known when you can. When it comes to workaholics and relationships, they may not always know there is a problem.

According to the psychologist Silvana Mici:

As a couple therapist, I think that one of the first steps in dealing with a workaholic partner is to communicate your feelings with them about this feature of their character. In addressing a workaholic partner, encourage open communication about their priorities and the impact on the relationship. 

3. Don’t make them feel worse

Even if you have workaholic relationship problems, you shouldn’t fuss at your husband when he is at home. Criticizing them is unlikely to be effective in either keeping him at home with his family or causing him to work fewer hours. 

Psychotherapist Brain E. Robinson, in his book ‘Chained to the Desk,’ calls workaholism “the best-dressed problem of the twenty-first century.” He talks about it becoming a more pervasive problem, which requires more understanding and less judgment.

If you push too much, it may just drive him away or back to work, which will not help your family.

4. Don’t make it easier for them

When you know my husband is a workaholic, there are likely many things you have to do for your household, even stuff you may not want to do. However, you don’t have to make your husband’s life even easier in terms of working too much. 

In other words, you don’t have to go out of your way to take all of his guilt away when he misses his kid’s birthday party or when he stands you up for dinner again. He will need to make these things up to his family in most cases.

5. Make the home comfortable for them

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you need to be rude to your husband in any way.  One of the best ways how to deal with a workaholic husband is to make sure that he is comfortable when he’s at home. 

Let him spend time watching the game or relaxing in his favorite chair. He may find that he likes this and does it more often, which would require him to be at home instead of at work.

6. Continue making memories

With a workaholic husband, how to deal with them effectively is to make memories without them when you need to. Again, if they are missing important events that they knew about and, for some reason, were still unable to attend, you will have to do these things without them. 

Sooner or later, they will probably notice that their life is moving forward without them in it, and in some instances, they might make changes to improve this.

7. Get professional help

If you don’t know how to deal with a workaholic husband and it affects your marriage, you may need to seek help. 

You can choose to get help for one person or as a couple, depending on what you think will do the most good and if your partner is willing to go to therapy with you. 

A therapist should offer you more strategies to cope with your husband’s work schedule and may also be able to offer him details on how to change his work habits. Think of online therapy to help with this since it doesn’t have to be utilized during work hours.

8. Stop stressing

When you feel like your workaholic husband is ruining your marriage, this is something you have to work through. You should stop stressing so much about what isn’t being done or what he is missing out on and just keep doing it. 

At some point, a workaholic may regret what they missed out on, but they may not. You just have to make sure that you take care of yourself, your kids, and your home, so everyone has what they need. You can’t change someone’s behavior for them.

Psychologist and certified coach Silvana further explains:

Establish clear boundaries, schedule quality time together, and consider seeking couples therapy to explore the underlying reasons for their workaholic tendencies and to find a balance that supports both personal and relational well-being.

9. Start a new routine

If you don’t have enough time to spend as a family, do your best to institute new policies in your home, which everyone has to follow, including your workaholic husband. Perhaps there is a family game night every Friday, or you have brunch together on Sunday. 

Whatever you choose, make sure that everyone knows that attendance is mandatory and that they will have fun. After all, spending time with your family can be something that is beneficial for the health and mental health of the entire family.

10. Celebrate small victories

Even if you have been at a loss on how to deal with a workaholic husband, it is okay to celebrate the small things. The small things can help you in staying motivated and hopeful.

Perhaps your husband comes home for dinner once a week, unlike before. This is something to celebrate and thank him for. It shows that he cares and is willing to make an effort.

11. Lead by example

Show your spouse the importance of work-life balance by practicing it yourself. It sets a positive example for both partners to follow in the long term.

Here are 5 more actionable steps you can take if your spouse works too much:

FAQs 

Understanding workaholism in marriage is crucial for navigating its impact. Let’s explore common questions to shed light on the motivations, challenges, and potential consequences associated with having a workaholic husband.

• Is your workaholic husband ruining your marriage?

Workaholism may strain a marriage by creating imbalances. Open communication, shared goals, and setting boundaries can help salvage the relationship.

• Can workaholism negatively impact the children in a family?

Yes, constant absence and reduced family time can affect children emotionally. Maintaining a balance and prioritizing family activities is crucial.

• Can workaholism lead to health issues?

Yes, prolonged stress from workaholism can contribute to health problems. Encouraging self-care and seeking work-life balance is essential for overall well-being.

• Can a marriage survive a workaholic?

While challenging, marriages can survive workaholism. Open communication, counseling, and mutual efforts to redefine priorities can rebuild the connection.

Life above work!

It can be difficult to know what to do when your husband works too much, but there are ways to deal with it. Consider these ways referring to how to deal with a workaholic husband, and make sure you are doing everything you can as well.

In some cases, a man doesn’t want to be working as much as he has to, and in other cases, he may not be aware that he is working so much. Be open and honest, but also stand your ground when discussing changes that need to occur. 

Marriages require hard work, so even someone who has to work must be able to do what is necessary to make sure that the marriage and family dynamics work.

It is possible to deal with a workaholic husband, and you can have a family that is in harmony. Just keep at it.