Every marriage has times where you really need to lean on each other for support, and that’s how it should be. Healthy marriages are all about give-and-take and being able to rely on your spouse when you are struggling or going through a hard time and then being there for them to lean on when they are struggling as well. rnBut there is a drastic difference between healthily relying on each other and not being able to function without each other.You should never feel like you can’t make decisions, can’t support yourself, can’t meet your own needs, etc., without your spouse. That is an unhealthy attachment to that person that will likely crash and burn over time. So, it is important to recognize the signs and address them right away. Are you in a codependent marriage? Take this quiz to find out.
1. rnHave you ever stopped doing something for yourself, such as going to the gym or taking a yoga class with your friends, because it causes much less anxiety and stress for you if you were just home preparing dinner for your spouse or doing what would make them happy?
A. No
B. Rarely
C. Yes
2. Are you scared of being alone?
A. No
B. I don’t know
C. Yes
3. If you had to choose between your preferred option of going out with your friends or doing what your spouse wanted to do for the night to make them happy, which would you choose?
A. Go out with my friends as planned
B. It depends
C. Do what my spouse wants to do to make them happy
4. Do you ever have a hard time deciding what to make for dinner, what to wear, or what you want to drink without consulting with your spouse?
A. No
B. Rarely
C. Yes
5. Have you or your spouse ever had any issues with addiction (drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc.) personally or within your immediate family?
A. No
B. Distant relatives
C. Yes
6. Do you feel like your life would be worthless without your spouse?
A. No
B. Sometimes
C. Yes
7. Do you and/or your spouse’s friends and family ever suggest that your relationship may be unhealthy or that you may be dependent on each other?
A. No
B. Rarely
C. Sometimes
8. Do you feel like you have positive self-esteem, confidence in yourself and independence?
A. Yes, most of the time
B. It depends
C. No
9. Do you and your spouse have open and honest communication, or do you keep things to yourself that are bothering you because you don’t want to upset your spouse?
A. We have open and honest communication
B. It depends, but mostly open and honest communication
C. I usually keep things in
10. Do you feel like if you didn’t have your spouse, you would feel incomplete and miserable or feel like you will never be happy again?
A. No
B. Sometimes
C. Yes
