A person unhappy in marriage will find happiness somewhere else. Do you see his friends tagging him and he’s all smiles? Does he get excited when his friends are there to have a beer and watch the game?
Maybe, he answers a call and becomes excited, like what he used to when you were still happy? If so, then it only means he’s an unhappy husband.
9. He starts keeping secrets
Aside from no longer talking to you, your husband may keep secrets. That’s another unhappy husband signs to know.
Maybe he has unexplained purchases in his credit cards, he bought a new car without consulting you, or he went on a vacation without you knowing.
He’s trying to escape, avoid, and distance himself from you and your marriage, and this would be very destructive if you don’t take action.
10 proven ways on how do you deal with an unhappy husband
It was not always this way. He was not always this way. In the early years of your marriage, your husband was bright, lively and cheerful. But now you are noticing a change. He seems sad and depressed. He is often not present or engaged in family discussions or activities.
His old spark is no longer there. He seems to be bored and just going through the motions at work and at home. Your love life has flattened or is non-existent. You are worried. You want to help him. You are wondering how to deal with an unhappy husband.
The first thing to do is talk
So, do you find yourself asking, “How do I deal with an unhappy husband?”
If you don’t know the whys behind his unhappiness, you won’t know how to deal with an unhappy husband.
So set aside a time and a place to sit down and ask him what’s bothering him. Make sure this conversation takes place in an ideal environment: pick a calm moment (not during a rushed dinnertime with the children present) and one where you sense he will be open to the discussion.
Maybe plan an evening out to a quiet restaurant or a walk together where you can talk undisturbed. Turn off your phones and hold hands so you feel like you are truly connecting for this important conversation.
Approach the subject from a kind and loving place
Realizing your husband is unhappy can be unsettling, but it can also be the beginning of turning around the mood that is weighing on your marriage.
To open the conversation, try something like “I’m noticing that you seem unhappy lately. Can you tell me what might be going on?” This is a better way to begin than “Your constant depressed face is driving me mad. Cheer up!”
What might be going on and how to deal with the issues?
“Is my husband unhappy because of me?”
This is an important question to ask apart from asking, “How do I deal with an unhappy husband?”
Maybe you have been neglecting the little signs of appreciation that men need in order to feel seen, heard, and loved by their spouses. Maybe he feels you are focusing exclusively on your work, or on the children, and he is feeling invisible.
Maybe he needs you to pay more attention to your physical appearance; perhaps swapping those old yoga pants for something a little more stylish for your weekend wear.
“Is my husband unhappy because of his professional situation?”
If this is the case, let him vent. Sometimes all an unhappy husband needs is for his significant other—you– to listen compassionately to his complaints.
He may not need you to come up with any concrete solutions to what is irritating him at the workplace, but he will be grateful for your listening ear. If he is open to it, offer to brainstorm some solutions with him.
Is my husband unable to pinpoint why he is unhappy?
Could it be that he is experiencing some generalized, non-specific depression? If he cannot identify anything, in particular, that might be causing his unhappiness, it might be helpful to suggest that he see a mental health professional who could tease out what might be behind his mood.
Another suggestion would be for him to schedule a physical examination with a doctor to see if something physical might be causing this depression.
What about you? How do you deal with an unhappy husband?
Here are some tips for helping you through this trying time in your marriage and getting a definite answer to the question, “how do I deal with an unhappy husband?”
1. Recognize that it’s not gonna be easy
This will impact your relationship and your marriage, so be ready. The adage “for better or for worse” will be on your mind.
You might find yourself feeling angry towards your husband. After all, loving an unhappy man was not what you expected when you said: “I do.” Remember: it is the depression that you are mad at, not your husband. Work actively to help him through this unhappy moment.
Eat healthfully together, incorporate a shared daily walk into your routine, and make sure you get sufficient sleep.
3. Take care of yourself as well
So, when you ask yourself, “how do I deal with an unhappy husband? accept that dealing with an unhappy husband is taxing. Make sure you top up your own reserves by taking a break from his situation when you can.
Dedicate some time to replenish your own energy: mediation moments, a yoga class, or just an afternoon shopping with your BFF can help you return to your husband with a more positive attitude.
Make sure he knows he is not alone in this moment of unhappiness. He will be grateful that you are there from him, even through the hard times.
Accompany him to his medical visits
Got that doctor’s appointment scheduled? Go with him. Doctors appreciate the presence of a spouse. Your observations concerning your observations about your husband’s sad moods can be vital to a proper diagnosis and treatment plan.
5. Be patient
Your husband’s unhappiness did not develop overnight, nor will it go away overnight. Getting him back to the cheerful, positive person you know is inside of him is a process.
Being there by his side to make sure he incorporates and follows his plan of treatment, whether it be therapy-based or involved medication (or both) will be important to his progress.
Expect it to take some time. Once you have an idea of what might be behind his sadness, you can equip yourself to deal with your unhappy husband.
6. Give him space
Sometimes, all that your unhappy husband needs is a little space. Maybe he feels pressured when you always ask him. That’s why he avoids you. Maybe he’s confused as well.
An unhappy husband doesn’t always mean that he doesn’t love you or he has an affair. Sometimes, there comes the point where you just need some time alone to contemplate.
If you think he needs it, allow him to do so. He’d appreciate you for that and he’ll talk when he feels he’s ready.
7. Plan something that he’ll love
Do something simple but meaningful for him. Plan a weekend with him and his friends. They can watch the game and have a beer. Let him enjoy.
You can also put small notes on his lunch to encourage him and put a smile on his face. It’s those little things that can do so much.
Even without saying, he would surely appreciate those gestures.
8. Surprise him in bed
You may not have intimate moments, but if you do, make sure he will beg for more.
Do something sensual, but be sure he will love it. Some men aren’t open to trying BDSM or role-playing. So you have to be aware before you try them out.
Sometimes igniting one’s carnal desires can make an unhappy husband long for more loving.
Did you know that men also want and need to feel appreciated? They may not be vocal about it, but they would surely love if you showed them you appreciate their efforts.
There can be cases that the sentiments of the unhappy husband that he doesn’t feel appreciated by his wife, and all she can see are his shortcomings. This caused him to be unhappy and drift apart.
We all want to feel appreciated. Make appreciation your superpower.
Mel Robbins, NY Times Best Selling Author and Award Winning Podcast Host shares why appreciation helps:
10. Seek the help of a relationship therapist
If you think you have tried your best but your husband is still distant, then talk to him and ask if he’s willing to see a relationship therapist.
This would be better so that the licensed professional listen, understand, and provide the best course of action plan for your marriage problem.
An unhappy spouse can cause dissatisfaction in a relationship. It can be hard to deal with a partner who’s constantly unhappy and not willing to resolve the issues. Let’s look at some common questions arising from this situation.
Do you think it is worth staying in an unhappy marriage?
Realizing that you have an unhappy husband can be saddening, confusing, and frustrating, especially when it seems like he’s unwilling to work with you.
However, don’t give up just yet. Try to learn what causes your husband to feel this way and try different methods to get him to open up.
This, along with some tender love and care, and you will soon find the question, “ How do I deal with an unhappy husband?” totally redundant, and a thing of the past.
In any event that these won’t work, you can still seek the help of a licensed professional. As long as both of you are willing to work things out, there’s a chance to bring back the happiness of your marriage.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
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