You have noticed that something doesn’t feel right between you and your husband. Your intuition tells you that something is up.
Your husband doesn’t seem like the person you married any more – he is less present, and he is acting strangely. You are sure that something is wrong, but whenever you ask him, he says that nothing is wrong.
Actions speak louder than words
This is especially true in marriage. Spouses, especially men, express their feelings through actions. Many signs may indicate that your husband is unhappy in the marriage.
Studying your husband will let you know for sure what is in his mind and heart. It is possible to regain control of the situation if you know what to look for and can pick it up early enough.
Here is a quick checklist you can use to see if there really is something there, or not.
The 10 signs that your husband is not happy in your marriage
1. He doesn’t spend time with you anymore
At one time, you and your husband were inseparable, and he always put you first.
Now he puts extra hours at work and prefers to spend time with his friends. If he starts working late into the evenings, on weekends and vacations, he might be using his job conveniently as an excuse for avoiding spending time with you.
2. He has a new obsession
If your husband starts devoting most of his free time golfing, exercising, playing video games, or pursuing other hobbies at the expense of your relationship, this is a clear indication that there is a problem.
If your husband does not feel at peace at home, then he will do everything possible to minimize the amount of time he spends at home and with you.
Spouses have a threshold for how much time they can tolerate away for their partner.
Therefore, when your husband starts devoting more and more time on work, friends and other interests, he is sending a message that he is unhappy in the marriage.
One of the first signs that your husband is unhappy is when he starts withdrawing from you emotionally.
If your husband is not sharing this thoughts, feelings and emotions with you, he is sharing them with someone else. And it does not have to be another woman.
Cybercheating and virtual affairs are the possibilities. You will undoubtedly feel the emotional disconnect with your husband. This lack of emotional connection is a warning sign that your husband is secretly unhappy.
If it’s been a while since you heard the words, ‘Hi honey! How was your day?’, there is a good reason why your husband does not want to chat.
Your husband is showing lack of interest in your day out of lack of caring for what kind of day you had. He cares about other things that are much more serious to him than your well-being.
4. Your husband stops communicating
Communication is one of the strongest features of a happy marriage.
If all of a sudden your husband starts dodging essential conversations, it can be a sign that he feels that you do not understand him.
A healthy relationship involves couples who share feelings and dreams.
If your husband does not want to discuss any of these with you, it might indicate that he is no longer interested in the relationship.
5. He will not discuss the future
You once talked about everything concerning the future – where to live, vacations, saving, retirement.
The fact that your husband no longer talks about the future probably shows that he doesn’t want one with you.
Does he get uncomfortable when these discussions arise, or does he just refuse to make plans with you? He might be so unhappy in the marriage that he might be considering a future without you in it.
6. Your husband has developed a short temper
If your formerly even-tempered husband has suddenly developed a short fuse, it is time to consider that something is bothering him. A shift in patience is a clear indication that your husband is no longer sure about your compatibility.
According to experts, short tempers are common when a spouse is unhappy in your relationship and is a way of getting out pent up anger.
7. Your husband starts nitpicking
Previously, your husband thought that everything you did was adorable, but now you can’t even breathe without him nitpicking you.
The chances are that your husband is unhappy in the marriage and he is taking it out on you.
According to marital expert Carlyle Jansen, nitpicking may be the way your husband is expressing his unhappiness without having to talk about it directly.
Again, if your husband is crankier about your behavior than other life circumstances, e.g. work, this points to his being unhappy in the marriage.
8. Your husband shows no interest in sex
A healthy sex life may is essential for a healthy marriage.
Your sex life may fluctuate, but there is a problem if your husband is not interested in sex with you at all. If the kisses have dwindled, there are no hugs, and there is minimal touching, this is a sign of a miserable husband.
Couples cuddle when they feel connected and close to one another and safe with one another.
It is problematic, if your husband brushes you off when you move in to snuggle or he keeps saying that he is not in the mood for expressing signs of affection.
9. Your husband no longer cares about his appearance
Your husband was always impeccably groomed and well dressed – he gave thought to his appearance. Now, he has let weight pile on, and you will be lucky if he even combs his hair, especially if you are going out to dinner.
If your husband no longer cares about how he looks, there is a huge possibility that he is unhappy in the relationship with you.
He no longer has any regard for whether or not you find him attractive or not and your marriage is no longer as meaningful to him.
According to marriage therapist Marni Fuerman, these self-negligent habits by your husband may also have a deeper meaning – it could be his way of avoiding intimacy with you.
He has learnt that being unkempt is an effective way to get you to keep your distance.
10. Your husband is uncomfortable around happy couples
The last thing anyone wants to see when they are unhappy is a happy couple.
Seeing a couple who are in love and giddy only adds salt to the injury. Your husband will seem jealous of happy couples probably because he has lost hope for happiness with you.
The other reason why he may be avoiding being around happy couples is that seeing other couples happy takes an emotional toll on him. He feels the pressure to take your relationship to a new level that he is not on board with.
He also doesn’t want you to have expectations that he is not ready to fulfil.
How did you go? Anything over 6 is a concern and should be looked into further. But some of these traits he might have had since day dot.
What to do now?
If you are concerned about your marriage then don’t waste a minute to get some help and expert advice. There is good advice out there in the form of books, videos and DIY marriage programs.
If reading this made you feel a little easier (because you think that he is happy) then keep an eye on the situation. It may change.
Men and women express feelings differently
It is a fact that men are different from women when it comes to expressing their feelings and emotions.
Do not expect your husband to be as verbal as you are. If you want to get ahead of the game, pay close attention to your husband, or you will miss out on signs that are right under your nose.
Do not be too busy to miss out on the vital clues that help you know what is really going on with your husband.
After all, no one else is more skilled at picking up your husband’s cues. And you know what – the more you are keen on your husband’s actions and body language, the better you will be at maintaining the health of your marriage.
Be a good student of your husband and male psychology. Men may seem complicated but their motivations are generally quite simple. Understanding these motivations is the best way to keep your husband happy, and loyal in your marriage.