A man by the name of John Steinbeck once said “You know how advice is. You only want it if it agrees with what you wanted to do anyway.” There’s some sarcasm in that quote but you know what? There’s also quite a bit of truth in it too.
And honestly, that is one of the reasons why some married couples are hesitant about getting marriage counseling advice from a professional counselor or therapist. It’s because they have not received the greatest advice from family members and friends and they’re “afraid” that they’ll only receive more of the same. Or it’s because one or both of them feels like their spouse is totally in the wrong while they are mostly in the right and they don’t want to hear a counselor telling them differently.
Yet the reality is that there are all kinds of good things that can come from getting marriage counseling advice. Advantages that you may not have thought about before reading this article. Ones that hopefully will change your mind about the marriage counseling process and how it can ultimately benefit you, your spouse and your marriage.
1) It’s more than just “advice”
The first thing to keep in mind about going to see a marriage counselor or therapist is that you’ll be getting more than just someone’s advice. Professional counselors have qualifications that have earned them a license to practice in their field. From books to tests to exercises, there are all kinds of things that marriage counselors are skilled in that can help to make your marriage better.
2) They are not biased
You might have heard someone say that you should never talk about the problems within your marriage to your family members because they will remember them long after you’ve forgiven and forgotten. The reason why is because they are emotionally attached to you. But a marriage counselor comes into your marital situation unbiased. They are not rooting for one person more than the other. Their ultimate objective is making sure that both parties are pleased.
3) You can get consistent assistance
Even if you have a close friend who you like to talk to, the reality is they have their own life and schedule. This means that they might not always been available. But with a marriage counselor, you can schedule your appointments. And being that you’re paying for them, you can be assured that your counselor will take your time and financial investment very seriously.
4) There’s someone present to mediate arguments
Sometimes people go to marriage counseling because they don’t know how to resolve arguments any other way. And so, in the presence of a trained professional, both spouses are able to convey their needs and concerns without the other cutting them off or demeaning their feelings. When a husband and wife are able to really listen to one another, that alone can do wonders for their relationship.
5) What you say remains confidential
Out of all of the reasons shared, perhaps one of the best reasons to get professional marriage counseling advice is because they are legally bound to keep information confidential. This means that no matter what you share in your sessions (short of threatening your own life or the life of someone else), they have to keep to themselves. That’s not always or necessarily guarantee when you decide to share your marital issues with others.
6) They are committed to making things better
When you get advice from other people, oftentimes it’s simply that. They share with you what they think and they move onto something else; whether your situation gets better or not. But with a marriage counselor, so long as you’re fully committed to the marriage counseling process and finding a way to make your marriage healthier, so are they. If that means working together for three months or three years, they are willing to stick it out. Having a marriage counselor means having a professional advocate for your relationship. And honestly, every married couple deserves receiving that kind of assurance and support.