A study was done recently which pointed out that the marriage rates have been on the decline. Statistics have also indicated that almost one fifth of first marriages have ended in divorce. The rates of divorce, of course, depend on the education level and the religious beliefs of the partners involved. There are various other strong factors that contribute to couples getting a divorce such as incompatibility, selfishness and indifference.
When marriages break up, they will bring plenty of difficulties for not only the couples involved but also for their children, if any. Breaking up of a family is one of the most devastating and stressful events in people’s lives. Divorce always brings in uncertainty and doubts about how life will shape up in the future. Children, particularly, will go through the negative effects of divorce through feelings of being abandoned, denial and guilt.
When is marriage counseling appropriate?
For some couples, divorce looks like the only choice in their relationship but for others, it may not be so easy and they may like to salvage whatever is left in that relationship. When they face issues in their married lives, they may think about when it is going to be appropriate to go for marriage counseling.
There are three good reasons:-
- When both partners are unable to resolve their differences:
When a couple experiences discord in their relationship and they are fully aware about the gradual straining in their relationship. They know what they are going through but they cannot fix it. This is just the right time to get a marriage counselor involved. A skilled psychologist will be able to push them in an amicable direction.
- When one of the partners has had an affair:
It is very difficult to recover from an affair and it will take a lot of hard work to come out of this kind of a situation. It will require willingness and also commitment to forgive your partner and then move on in life. There are no magical short cuts in solving such a discord. If the partners are committed to seek therapy and they are honest with themselves, they could save their marriage from collapsing. It is a healthy step for both the partners to reconcile to the fact and move on in their married life.
- When couples want to stay together only for their children’s sake:
The couple may feel that it would be wiser to continue living with one another for the sake of their kids. It would definitely help to get a third party involved. Many couples have felt that they have done the right thing by staying together and they have thanked their stars for being able to resolve their issues to strive for a healthy and a positive relationship. They felt that counseling was probably the best decision under the circumstances for them as well as their children.