Marriage counseling is a process wherein married couples are presented with tools and techniques that enable them to improve their relationship and resolve any interpersonal conflicts.
Marriage counseling also helps a couple to recognize ways to improve their ability to communicate with each other and aids them in rebuilding and strengthening their marriage.
Once, you and your partner have decided to go for marriage counseling, the process is managed by a marriage counselor. Choosing a marriage counselor can significantly affect the course and outcome of the counseling sessions ahead of you.
It is important that you know how to find the right marriage counselor who is going to share in the mutual objective possessed by you and your spouse.
Finding the right marriage counselor or the best marriage counselor can make a difference between the two of you arriving at a suitable solution or becoming even more disgruntled with the situation.
So if you are wondering how to select a marriage counselor or how to find a good couples therapist, read on to know how you can find the right person to help you out.
How to find a good marriage counselor
1. Starting the search
One of the most essential aspects of how to choose a couples therapist or how to find the best marriage counselor is to know whom to ask or where to look. Many couples resort to asking for recommendations from their friends and family.
This is considered to be the most sought out way as you get some genuine reviews and know that you are in the right hands.
However, if you are reluctant towards disclosing your personal issues to your friends or family members you can always try to find a marriage counselor through credible directories such as:
National Registry of Marriage-Friendly Therapists, The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (ICEEFT), and The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT).
Some couples even resort to online web searches, however the credibility of an online source if always questionable and you might need to enquire more before you select a therapist after an online search.
2. Choose a counselor with the right qualifications
How to pick a marriage counselor when you are facing distress in your marital life. Well, the answer is simple. Not all titled counselors are professionally trained counselor or even trained marriage counselors.
When choosing a marriage counselor do not be afraid to ask the potential counselor about his or her professional qualifications. This will be easy to prove with documentation or online references.
In addition to professional training, ask about professional experience. Depending on the gravity of the marital issues, you may want to consider a counselor with a significant amount of years of experience, over one that is new to the profession.
Check online for client reviews and other indications that your potential marriage counselor will be the right fit.
3. Your marriage counselor should be unbiased and neutral
What to look for in a marriage counselor?
Sometimes, one partner might select a marriage counselor who is known to him or her, because he or she believes that the marriage counselor will be on their side. But this is not the right method of finding a good marriage counselor.
A professional marriage counselor should never take sides and should always remain a neutral party in the process of counseling; even if the marriage counselor knows one or both of the partners.
When choosing a marriage counselor it is important that both you and your spouse agree to the marriage counselor of choice and any previous acquaintances should be disclosed and discussed before pursuing that particular counselor.
4. A marriage counselor with similar belief systems
When contemplating ‘how to choose a marriage counselor‘ think of someone with similar beliefs as you. A marriage counselor should neither convey nor force onto a couple his or her own belief systems during counseling.
However, when choosing a marriage counselor a couple might feel more comfortable dealing with a counselor who shares in their belief systems. This will often be the case for Christians or couples of specific religious preferences.
For example, a couple who believes that divorce is against the will of God will be better suited with a counselor who shares in the same viewpoint. Otherwise, the couple might think, whether apparent or otherwise, that the counselor does not share in their mutual objective in counseling.
5. More about solutions and less about the money
Counseling sessions are not free and the number of counseling sessions you will have will depend on the gravity of the issues, the willingness of the parties and the dedication by the couple to do the necessary work to repair the relationship.
When choosing a marriage counselor, try to assess if he or she is more concerned about the solution and outcome than on the money to be earned.
Counseling is a process that should not be rushed, but using your instinct, if you feel as though the marriage counselor is about billing than about helping you repair your marriage, then that counselor is not best for you and your spouse.
This should be one of the non-negotiable factors when you are thinking about what to look for in a marriage therapist.
It is critical that you choose the right counselor from the beginning. You and your spouse might become frustrated if you are forced to leave one counselor and start over with another because that particular marriage counselor was not the right fit.
Now that you know how to choose a good marriage counselor who could be the right fit for your needs, begin the search together, if possible, to find the one.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.