You and your partner have decided to go for marriage counseling. This process is managed by a marriage counselor. Choosing the right marriage counselor can significantly affect the course and outcome of the counseling sessions ahead of you. It is important that you chose a marriage counselor that is going to share in the mutual objective possessed by you and your spouse.
Choose a counselor with qualifications
Not all titled counselors are professionally trained counselor or even trained marriage counselors. Do not be afraid to ask the potential counselor about his or her professional qualifications. This will be easy to prove with documentation or online references. In addition to professional training, ask about professional experience. Depending on the gravity of the marital issues, you may want to consider a counselor with a significant amount of years of experience, over one that is new to the profession. Check online for client reviews and other indications that your potential marriage counselor will be the right fit.
Your marriage counselor should be unbiased and neutral
Sometimes, one partner might select a marriage counselor who is known to him or her, because he or she believes that the marriage counselor will be on their side. A professional marriage counselor should never take sides and should always remain a neutral party in the process of counseling; even if the marriage counselor knows one or both of the partners. It is important that both you and your spouse agree to the marriage counselor of choice and any previous acquaintances should be disclosed and discussed before pursuing that particular counselor.
A marriage counselor with similar belief systems
A marriage counselor should never convey or force onto a couple his or her own belief systems during counseling. However, a couple might feel more comfortable dealing with a counselor who shares in their belief systems. This will often be the case for Christians or couples of specific religious preferences. For example, a couple who believes that divorce is against the will of God will be better suited with a counselor who shares in the same viewpoint. Otherwise, the couple might think, whether apparent or otherwise, that the counselor does not share in their mutual objective in counseling.
More about solutions and less about the money
Counseling sessions are not free and the number of counseling sessions you will have will depend on the gravity of the issues, the willingness of the parties and the dedication by the couple to do the necessary work to repair the relationship. When speaking with a potential marriage counselor, try to assess if he or she is more concerned about the solution and outcome than on the money to be earned.
Counseling is a process that should not be rushed, but using your instinct, if you feel as though the marriage counselor is about billing than about helping you repair your marriage, then that counselor is not best for you and your spouse.
It is critical that you choose the right counselor from the beginning. You and your spouse might become frustrated if you are forced to leave one counselor and start over with another, because that particular marriage counselor was not the right fit