Your marriage was based on sharing and caring, but things have changed lately. Are you wondering whether your spouse has become a little secretive all of a sudden?
If you’ve started doubting them or yourself and wish you could know the signs your spouse is hiding something from you, then you are at the right place.
When people stop being honest, for some reason, they usually have some surprises planned, or they need some more privacy in their lives, or there really could be something that they wish their partners wouldn’t know as it would put the relationship in trouble.
Is hiding things in a relationship normal?
Does your spouse have the right to keep things from you?
Your spouse has a right to privacy in your relationship, as do you. You can both keep conversations, thoughts, and feelings private. However, if your spouse is doing something behind your back, they need to learn that hiding things from your partner will stunt communication and growth.
If you see signs your spouse is hiding something from you, it can leave you feeling confused and upset. You may be wondering what your spouse is keeping.
If it’s the latter, take it as a warning sign your spouse is hiding something from you.
4. You’re hearing rumors
Rumors aren’t always the best source for true relationship details. Someone could easily be spreading false rumors about your spouse out of jealousy or misinformation.
That said, rumors shouldn’t be entirely dismissed. They may point to some interesting signs your spouse is hiding something from you.
Match up the information you’re hearing with your personal suspicions.
For example, your boyfriend came home three hours late on Friday night. You then hear a rumor that your boyfriend was out looking flirty with a new girl from his work on Friday night.
This rumor matches up with part of your reality and may be worth a listening ear.
5. They’ve become hard to reach
Did you use to have the kind of relationship where you were always in contact throughout the day? Maybe you made a habit of sending sweet and romantic messages to one another via text or called to say hello when you had a spare moment.
One sign that your husband keeps secrets is if he is suddenly unreachable.
If you can never seem to get a hold of your spouse and he hasn’t given you any convincing reasons why it may be a sign that he has something to hide.
Without these important bonds of intimacy, you may start to feel insecure about your connection, and with good reason.
One sign he is hiding something is a sudden lack of interest in being intimate with you. This could be because he’s having a sexual relationship with someone else.
7. Sexual intimacy is different
One of the signs your spouse is hiding something from you or is secretly seeing someone else may manifest in your sex life. She may be trying new things that she seems to have learned from someone else.
8. They’re making a lot of plans without you
You and your partner used to do everything together, but now they seem to be regularly making plans without you. Is this something to worry about?
The survey goes on to show that 53% of survey participants said they check on their ex on social media.
One of the top signs your spouse is hiding something from you is if your spouse can’t seem to leave the room without their smartphone and seem downright paranoid about you getting their hands on it.
14. Their timelines don’t make sense
Your spouse tells you about their night out, but their timeline is all over the place.
Is this something to be concerned about?
It could be that your spouse is simply forgetful, but it may also be a sign that they can’t keep up with their lies.
15. You aren’t feeling the love
One of the easy signs he or she is hiding something from you is how you feel in your relationship.
Do you feel love, trust, and comfort when you are with your spouse, or are you racked with concern?
Your answer will make it clear whether something bad is going on behind your back.
How do you deal with a secretive spouse?
One of the signs your spouse is hiding something from you is if they are being secretive.
What should you do about it?
Collect your feelings and take some time to address your feelings privately.
How do you feel about what is potentially going on in your relationship?
Has your partner truly done something to make you lose trust in them?
Are you onto their secret, or are you overreacting to a situation out of insecurity?
Talk to your spouse
If you’ve seen all the signs that someone is hiding something from you, it can be tempting to snoop through their phone to gather evidence for a surprise attack, but resist this urge.
Instead, confront your partner about your suspicions as soon as you begin to ask, “Is he or she hiding something from me?”
Be calm, and don’t let your emotions get the better of you. Cool heads prevail.
Open with honest and open communication. Let your partner speak without interrupting or accusing them. If you don’t believe their explanation of things, calmly explain why and give them a chance to defend themselves.
Decide how to proceed
If there are issues in your relationship, give yourself time to decide what you want to do next.
If your partner has been unfaithful, surround yourself with loved ones that you can confide in.
Studies show that emotional support from understanding friends and family can significantly lower psychological distress.
There are only two people who know what really goes on behind closed doors: you and your partner.
If there are signs your spouse is hiding something from you, take time to figure out whether your suspicions are accurate or if you are just being overly sensitive.
Keeping secrets from your spouse doesn’t feel right, no matter which side of the coin you are on.
Open the lines of communication and talk to your partner about how you’re feeling.
If your suspicions are correct and something underhanded is going on, confide in a close friend or family member you can lean on for support.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.