6 Pillars of a Happy & Successful Marriage

When it comes to marriage, each one is different. It is up to you as a couple to determine what is most important and work together as a unit to grow and make your marriage stronger.

However, certain things are likely necessary to have a meaningful relationship and marriage, which you may want to call pillars of relationship. Keep reading for more information on these valuable pillars of marriage.

What does a successful marriage mean to you?

A successful marriage is essentially a marriage where both parties get everything they need out of the relationship. This will be slightly different, depending on the couple, and no one will judge if you have a successful marriage but you and your spouse.

In some cases, success in a marriage may mean that you and your partner are on the same page regarding your beliefs and your religion, while for others, this may be less important.

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What is the purpose of marriage?

The purpose of marriage is something that may elicit different responses, depending on who you ask. Essentially, there are a few purposes that may stand out when you consider the most important things or the pillars of marriage.

1. Companionship

One of the significant components of marriage is that you aren’t alone anymore. You have a partner that you can spend time with and make memories. For some people, your spouse maybe your best friend as well.

Related Reading: Can Marriage Survive Without Friendship?

2. Starting a family

In some cases and certain religions, it is necessary to get married to start a family. Of course, you don’t have to be married to have kids, but some people get married to do so.

According to Jenni Jacobsen, LCSW:

Family is often the context in which children learn, grow, and develop. Marriage between two people creates a nurturing environment in which to raise children.

3. Commitment

Another significant aspect of the purpose of marriage is that you have committed to someone. This indicates that you want to spend the rest of your life with a specific person who is more unique to you than anyone else. 

Moreover, when you can commit to someone, you aren’t just concerned about yourself anymore. You are taking another person’s wants and needs into account as well.

Related Reading: 15 Tips on How to Stay Committed in a Relationship

6 pillars of a happy and successful marriage

If you wonder what has been associated with a successful marriage, these pillars of marriage are the answer. Some relationships may not have all of these pillars, but they may make a marriage last if you do have them in your marriage.

It is important to work on these things with your spouse to have a successful marriage but keep in mind that all marriages are a work in progress. None of them are perfect.

1. Communication

You cannot have a positive marital relationship with your spouse if you are not communicating correctly. This doesn’t just mean that you are talking to each other, but you also need to be talking about the things that matter.

In some instances, couples only talk about things that need to be done, such as chores, the kids’ needs, and their day. You must be able to talk about pretty much anything with your spouse, and they should be able to talk about everything with you as well.

This includes things like your hopes and dreams, if you aren’t feeling heard or need help solving a problem in your life. When you know you can always talk to your mate about something, and they will be willing to listen to you and provide helpful feedback when you need it, this can allow for great strength in marriage.

Related Reading: Top 10 Causes of Relationship Communication Problems

2. Honesty

Honesty is one of the keys to a successful marriage because, more likely than not, if you are dishonest, your marriage won’t last.

You must be honest with your partner at all times, with small details and significant details. Keep in mind that you chose your mate for a reason, and they may surprise you, even if you give them news or information that they don’t like. 

You owe them a chance to process what you have to say instead of lying about it to them.

The other aspect of honesty that is important when it comes to pillars of marriage is that you need to be honest about how you feel and what you need. Honesty and communication go hand in hand as they are both fundamentals of marriage. You must be honest with your communication all the time, so keep this in mind.

3. Love

Love is probably the most obvious of the pillars of marriage. You should love the person that you are married to. When you love your spouse, this is a powerful thing. It can cause you to want to do anything to make them happy, and it may also offer certain health advantages.

A good marriage can even improve your immune system!

This is more likely if people are in a loving marriage, and this might be because they have someone to support them, help them recover, and influence them to make good decisions about their health.

Jenni Jacobsen further adds:

Over the course of a marriage, love becomes an intentional act; you must put effort into caring for your spouse and prioritizing their needs.

Also Try: Who Loves Who More Quiz

4. Trust

Would you want to be married to someone that you couldn’t trust? Chances are, the answer is no. You must be able to trust your partner, and in marriage, you have to trust them with your life at times. There are quite a few reasons why this is important when it comes to pillars of love.

For one, having a spouse you trust will allow you to feel more comfortable in your marriage. You will talk about and experience things with your spouse since you know they don’t have any ill feelings or motives.

Moreover, your spouse is the person you should be able to turn to when you require someone to lighten the load. You might need them to assist you with chores, the running of the household, or something similar. 

It is helpful to trust them to do this, so there is less stress weighing you down.

As a couple, you are also responsible for making decisions for one another, especially in terms of what is being eaten or if one of you ends up in the hospital. This is an additional reason that trust is so significant in a marriage.

5. Respect

Another of the most important pillars of marriage is respect. You need to have mutual respect for one another, so you’ll be confident that you have each other’s best interests at heart. 

Do you care about what your wife desires and needs, or do you want your husband to feel like he’s appreciated at the end of a long day? These things might go through your mind when you respect your spouse.

Besides that, when someone knows that you respect them, you may have a stronger relationship. In other words, when both parties have their needs met and feel like they have an equal say in what happens, it could lead to fewer disagreements.

Also Try: Does My Husband Respect Me Quiz

6. Loyalty

You should be loyal to your mate. For some couples, your mate is the most important person in the world to you, and this is to be expected. Let your spouse know that you are loyal and hold their opinion in high regard. 

This means you shouldn’t be talking about your issues with other people or complaining behind your mate’s back. It may be more beneficial to try to work out any problems you have together.

Loyalty also means taking your partner’s side. If they are going through something and need your support, you should be able to support them. In turn, they should do the same for you. This is one of the necessary pillars of marriage.

If you are looking for more information relating to a strong marriage, watch this video:

Conclusion

There is no cheat sheet to tell you how to have a successful marriage. You will have to work at it, no matter how much you love and cherish each other. 

However, when you have these six pillars of marriage in your duo, you should have a better chance of getting through any issues you are facing and working things out if they come up.

If you are working on these pillars, that’s okay as well. All marriages are different, and some of these things will become easier with time. For instance, you can’t expect newlyweds to have all of these pillars figured out right away. 

They may take time, effort, and work to get just right, and even then, bad days will come up.

The goal is to know that you have a partner that supports you and loves you at the end of the day. You should also know that you feel the same way about them. This can be accomplished when you prioritize these six pillars of marriage.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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