Have you ever stopped to ask yourself ‘do you trust your partner?’
The chances are that if you have asked yourself that question, there may be a subconscious awareness of a lack of trust in your relationship.
And if there is any inkling of a doubt that your relationship does not run on trust then it might be time to pay attention to your subconscious mind and start to figure out why. Especially because relationships with no trust don’t tend to fare well – trust is the cornerstone of a relationship after all.
How do relationships with no trust form?
There are usually two reasons why you might begin to ask yourself ‘do you trust your partner?’
- Because there have been actual incidents that might promote a lack of trust – such as infidelity, disrespect, lies in general or repeated let downs on behalf of your partner or spouse.
- If you have experienced relationships with no trust in the past and have difficulty trusting anybody.
For both of these types of relationships, there is always a solution, which begins with learning how to develop trust or with learning how to trust again.
In both situations, counseling will put you in good stead for the future and prevent you from experiencing a distrustful relationship.
The problem is though; it’s not always easy to tell if you trust your partner. So to help you out here are some typical examples of ways we might behave if we do not trust our partner.
1. You always ask them for proof for everything
Practicing discernment is a healthy habit for sure, and there may be occasions when you do ask for a proof of something your partner is discussing with you. The difference being that the evidence required will not be proof that they were honest though, but more so that they have their facts checked too – there’s a difference.
So if you find yourself asking for evidence to prove to you that what your partner or spouse is saying, doing or thinking is they the truth then that’s a surefire example of a relationship without trust.
2. You continuously check their social media
Once again the answer to this depends on the context. If you and your spouse automatically share your social media, phone, and email access for convenience and it’s a mutual thing – not a demand, then the chances are that this is a healthy decision.
But if you have access because you’ve demanded it (so that you can monitor their connections) or if you find yourself watching their connections suspiciously under any circumstances, the chances are you are living in a relationship without trust.
3. You demand the passwords to their accounts
Unless there’s a specific reason for having access to your partner or spouse’s accounts (for example business or health reasons) then demanding access to their accounts is a suspicion driven activity. Especially if you are demanding access for monitoring purposes.
This controlling behavior is a slippery slope toward a relationship without trust that you might need to counter fast to avoid destroying a potentially good thing.
4. You feel intimidated by attractive people when you are with your partner
Feeling intimidated by attractive people being around your partner is not necessarily a sign of a relationship without trust. You could have low esteem or a lack of confidence.
But if that’s not the case, you don’t trust your partner enough to stay committed to you.
5. You ask others to confirm your partner’s whereabouts
Confirming your partner or spouse’s whereabouts is highly suspicious behavior that is sure to convey not just to you, but also to your partner and their friends that you are in a distrustful relationship.
After all, why would you feel the need to question your partner?
Something will be driving this behavior, and it won’t have anything to do with trust. And it’s probably time to sit down and ask yourself why you are in a relationship with no trust so that you might have the chance to put it right.
A lack of trust in a relationship can have dire consequences not just on the relationship itself but also on the psyche and wellbeing for both partners or spouses. If you find that you don’t trust your partner isn’t it time that you do something about it, so that you can enjoy the wonders of a loving and trusting relationship in the future?
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.