When a Woman Feels Neglected in a Relationship: Signs & What to Do

When a woman feels neglected in a relationship, things can start to go downhill. 

The connection between her and her partner can fade, and the relationship may even become full of conflict. 

There are certain signs to look for that suggest that your partner is feeling neglected in a relationship, as well as steps you can take to remedy the situation. 

What is neglect in a relationship?

One of the easiest ways to describe neglect in a relationship is that it occurs when one partner, or perhaps both people in a relationship, begin to take the other person for granted and stop putting forth effort. 

It can happen when people in a relationship stop making time for each other or simply don’t seem to be nurturing the relationship. 

For instance, if your wife feels neglected, it may be because you’re spending plenty of time golfing with the guys during the weekends, but you can’t make time for a date night. 

A wife who is feeling neglected by her husband may also experience these feelings because of lack of affection or because the husband seems to take no interest in her. 

What happens when a woman feels neglected?

When a woman feels neglected in a relationship, she is likely to feel as if she isn’t important. This can lead to her also feeling sad, depressed, or hopeless. 

She may also begin to feel lonely as if she has no one to turn to because her partner is emotionally unavailable. 

While these are normal reactions to emotional neglect in marriage or a long-term relationship, this is generally not a place that most women want to be in a partnership. 

Unfortunately, being neglected can also lead to feeling unwanted in a relationship, and when a woman feels like this, she is likely to blame herself. 

She may think that she is the reason her partner is neglecting her, and she will make great efforts to try to fix the situation. This is incredibly painful for a woman to endure. 

Eventually, being neglected in a relationship can lead a woman to pull away from her partner, and in some cases, end the relationship completely.

Related Reading: Common Causes of Lack of Emotional Intimacy

13 signs she feels neglected by you

When a wife feels neglected, or a woman begins to think, “My boyfriend neglects me,” she is likely to show some signs in reaction to her feelings of loneliness and sadness. 

Look out for the following 13 signs of when a woman feels neglected in a relationship:

1. She begins crying when discussing her feelings.

One of the key signs of neglect in a relationship is when a woman breaks down and cries when discussing issues with her partner. 

If she is crying when she talks about her feelings of being ignored or unappreciated, she has reached a point where she feels entirely neglected, as if she has to beg for affection.

2. You realize that you are not sharing things with your partner.

If you find that you are not sharing any of the intimate details of your life with your wife or girlfriend, the chances are that she is feeling like she is being neglected in a relationship. 

When two people are committed to each other, they communicate openly and share their thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams with each other. They also tend to share plans and exciting news. 

If you aren’t sharing any of this with your partner, this is a red flag.

Related Reading: How to Share Your Feelings With Your Spouse

3. She starts to feel down about her appearance.

When a woman is feeling ignored by her husband, she might blame her appearance.

For example, if he hasn’t been giving her attention or complimenting her, she may blame herself and think it is because he is not attractive enough.

She may then begin to make negative remarks about how she looks or try to improve her appearance by losing weight or getting a new haircut.

4. Your sex life is non-existent.

Being neglected in a relationship can lead to a lack of sex because your partner will feel unwanted and unappreciated. When there is no emotional connection, sex can quickly fall by the wayside. 

In fact, research shows that when relationship quality is low, with poor communication and intimacy, sexual satisfaction decreases. 

Related Reading: How mental health issues can impact sex life

5. You’re no longer a priority.

If a woman is committed to a relationship and feels that her needs are met, she will make you a priority.

On the other hand, when she feels that my boyfriend neglects me, you might notice that she starts to pull away from you. Instead of focusing on you, she will begin to prioritize her own needs and interests.

She may even take on new projects or explore a new hobby since she is no longer putting all of her time into you.

6. You realize you aren’t taking time to appreciate her.

If you cannot remember the last time you said “Thank you” to your partner or did something nice for her, such as taking her out to dinner, there is a high probability that she is thinking, “I feel unimportant.” 

If she is putting forth an effort to make you happy and you never express your gratitude verbally or through acts of kindness in return, she is going to feel neglected.

Related Reading: How Lack of Appreciation Can Ruin Your Marriage

7. She complains of you never spending time with her.

Women want to feel important to their partners, and quality time together makes them feel as if they mean something to you.

If she complains that you never want to spend time with her, this is one of the signs of neglect in a relationship.

8. She’s the only one putting in the effort.

If she is feeling unwanted in a relationship, it is likely because she notices she is the only one putting forth effort.

If your wife or girlfriend is the one who is always making plans, setting goals for the two of you, and sacrificing her own time for the sake of the relationship, she is probably feeling neglected.

Related Reading: Effective Ways to Put Effort in a Relationship

9. It seems like she’s stopped caring about the relationship.

In the beginning, she probably cared about the relationship and communicated with you about every little detail of her life, from plans with friends to when she would be home in the evening.

If she has stopped keeping you updated about her life, this suggests that she has stopped caring about the relationship, and it can be because she is being neglected in a relationship.

10. It appears that she is insecure in the relationship.

Emotional neglect in marriage can lead to your wife feeling insecure. It can make her feel that she doesn’t know where the two of you stand or how you are feeling about her. 

She may jump to the worst conclusions and begin to feel insecure as if she isn’t good enough for you. 

Also Try: Insecure in Relationship Quiz

11. She is always sad.

Never make her feel unwanted, or you will notice that she is sad all the time.

If she seems to always be in a bad mood or is often tearful or sullen, she is probably feeling neglected.

12. All arguing has stopped.

No one wants to argue with their significant other all the time, but some disagreements are unavoidable and require discussion to resolve them.

If she is no longer arguing with you when the two of you disagree about something, this suggests that she no longer cares enough about the relationship to engage in debate with you.

This state of apathy is the result of being neglected in a relationship over an extended period of time.

13. She has stepped outside the relationship.

This is the end result of ongoing neglect in a relationship. 

After she has spent her time begging for time and affection from you, she will begin to pull away, and she eventually may seek the attention of another man to get what she isn’t getting from you. 

Related Reading: Causes of infidelity in relationships

Do’s & don’ts if you are feeling neglected in a relationship

If you have been the victim of neglect in a relationship, there are steps you can take to address the issue and try to keep the relationship together.  The first step toward addressing the situation is having a discussion with your partner. 

• Verbalize your feelings without being critical or blaming. Use “I” statements, such as, “I feel like you don’t care about the relationship when you don’t carve out time for monthly date nights.”  
• Keep in mind that communication is key, but it needs to be positive. You aren’t going to resolve the issue if you use insults or derogatory language to confront the situation with your partner.  
• Also, remember that it takes two people to maintain a relationship, so you should avoid blaming the situation entirely on your partner. Recognize the role that you have played as well. 

Perhaps there have been misunderstandings, or maybe, instead of addressing feeling ignored by your husband, you have pulled away and created an emotional wall between the two of you, which further complicates the issue. 

• Regardless of your specific situation, when communicating, remember to stay positive. It can be difficult when you are feeling neglected in a relationship, but using positive language, instead of being critical and blaming, can help your partner to understand where you are coming from so the issue can be resolved, according to experts.  
• Finally, when you are working toward resolving a situation where you think, “I feel unimportant in this relationship,” it can be helpful to make gratitude lists. 

Maybe you have been feeling neglected, but when you really sit down to think about it, you recognize that your partner does more for you than you realize. It may be something as simple as pouring your cup of coffee in the morning or taking out the trash each week. 

Taking time to recognize these small acts of kindness can make you feel more appreciated.

• Beyond addressing the situation head-on, it can be helpful to take care of yourself. If you’re in a situation where you’ve been neglected, your health can begin to suffer. 

Take time to do things you enjoy, and practice self-care through a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, and exercise that you enjoy. 

Taking care of yourself will help you to feel better so that your relationship problems do not take too much of a toll on you. You may also consider counseling to help you cope. 

Conclusion

When a woman feels neglected in a relationship, it can lead to feelings of sadness and loneliness and eventually lead her to pull away and leave the relationship. 

If you start to notice signs of neglect in a relationship, it is important to act on them before the situation becomes too complicated to resolve. If you’re the partner doing the neglecting, listen to your wife or girlfriend when she expresses her concerns to you. 

If the relationship is important to you, you must make more of an effort. On the other hand, if you are the one feeling neglected in a relationship, take time to talk to your partner and express your concerns without blaming or criticizing. 

In many cases, neglect in a relationship is resolvable if both partners are willing to make an effort. If you’ve tried to address the issue, but nothing improves, you may have to consider ending the relationship for your own wellbeing. 

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