Being in a relationship feels good especially when our significant other spoils us, right? Who wouldn’t get used to being treated special? When you’re in love, you want to spend every day with your special someone, it’s like your day won’t be complete without them being with you.
All of us can relate to this, no doubt about it but we also have to ask ourselves if this is a sign of a healthy relationship?
Enjoy love but also be independent in a relationship for it to work but where do we start?
Are you independent?
Being independent can have many definitions depending on the situation that is presented. For someone who has been single for a long time, this person might have gotten used to being independent and can come off as being too independent for a relationship.
There can also be some people who are independent in many other things such as with their career but are clingy in their relationship and lastly, there are people who want to remain independent in a relationship which is what we are talking about. Which one are you?
What is independence in relationships?
How well do you understand the concept of wanting to be independent in a relationship?
Being independent in a relationship doesn’t mean that you will dominate your partner in any way, that’s a different story.
Being independent in a relationship means that you know how to be your own person in a relationship.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to give up the things that made you happy before, it doesn’t mean that you have to spend 100% of your time and attention to your relationship alone. This will make you dependent on your partner in the relationship and soon, you will find yourself lost.
You’ll see that you won’t be able to function if you have a fight or you will feel that you can’t do something if your partner isn’t there or if they didn’t approve of your decision.
A romantic relationship should keep us inspired and help us be a better person but that will only happen if we are able to be independent in a relationship.
The importance of independence in a relationship
You might wonder about the importance of independence in a relationship and how do we achieve it. Maintaining independence in a relationship is vital in every relationship because we don’t want to lose ourselves just because we have fallen in love. Rather, we should know how to be independent in a relationship.
It’s important that we are still being our own person in a relationship so that we can still dream and decide for ourselves. Being too clingy, needy and dependent on our partners isn’t just being toxic. It also drains our partner’s energy in many ways.
Staying independent in a relationship will give you and your partner the opportunity to grow together as a couple and as an individual. In short, you are helping each other to be a better person.
How simple it may seem to be independent in a relationship, it still remains a challenge for most couples because of different situations that can happen in the relationship.
Past experiences, self-worth, fear, and even some mental or behavioral disorders can sometimes play a role for someone to hinder working on yourself while in a relationship.
How to be more independent in a relationship
Do you want to be independent in a relationship? Do you want to practice this so you can also have the base of independence in marriage? Like any other habit, it takes time and a firm mindset to be independent even if you are in a relationship.
Start with these simple steps
1. Don’t be scared to spend some time alone
Being alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have time for each other or you don’t love each other. In fact, time alone in a relationship can give you the time you need to relax. It’s not like relationships are toxic but having an alone time replenishes not just our mind but also our soul as well.
It’s a way for us to rethink our decisions, goals, and life as it is. It also gives us time to miss each other and allow us to make decisions by ourselves.
2. Start off with privacy and the space that we all need.
Want to know how to be more independent in a relationship?
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you need to do everything together. That’s impossible and will only cause problems later on. Allow yourself and your partner to have a life outside your partnership.
Let them go out with friends, you don’t have to do everything with your partner and vice versa. Trust is needed to pull this off. Also, don’t spend and waste your time checking your partner every now and then – that’s not healthy at all.
3. Have your own personality
Another thing to remember on how to remain independent in a relationship is to still have your own personality. When in love and in a relationship, we would want to change the bad traits of our partner right?
Though, losing yourself in the process isn’t healthy at all. You still need to have your own voice, your own opinion and make sure you stand firm on the things that you believe in.
4. Learn to still enjoy the things that you love to do before
Travel alone; watch a movie, have sleepovers with friends and many more. Don’t rush into moving in together or getting married. Enjoy life, enjoy your career, set goals and live your life.
To be independent in a relationship also means you have to be reasonable and understanding.
You also have to work on yourself and your personal development so you can help each other as well. Remember that falling in love and being in a relationship should help you be a better person.
You and your partner should help each grow individually in a relationship and you can expect a steady, strong, and understanding relationship.