Getting married is such a magical experience. For most couples, it’s the ultimate goal that will seal your love for each other. Hand in hand, you will start your own family and live happily ever after.
Rushing into marriage is never a good thing and might even cause consequences later on.
What does rushing into marriage mean?
You meet someone, and you just know that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, but how soon is too soon to get married?
Rushing into marriage is when you do everything you can to move forward in your relationship quickly.
How do you know if you are rushing into marriage?
Falling in love and being in love is a beautiful thing. We all want to experience the happy moments of spending our life with our significant other, but what if it suddenly hits you – you want to settle down and get married.
Talking about marriage early in a relationship may mean that you are already contemplating the thought in your head, and this will lead to you rushing your relationship too quickly.
In fact, you will know that you are already rushing to get married if you can relate to some of the signs below.
10 Signs you’re rushing into marriage
If you aren’t sure if the decision of marriage you are taking is in haste or it’s the right time, here are 10 signs that will help you gauge that you are rushing into marriage.
1. You’re head-over-heels in love
Let’s start with the most obvious sign that you are rushing to get married.
You’ve met “the one,” and you are already sure that you want to spend a lifetime with this person even if you have just started dating. You become too excited about moving to the next step, even if you are just starting to know each other.
You start feeling that everyone around you is settling down and that they are all leaving you behind. This situation can pressure you into getting married quickly, even if you’re unsure of your decision.
4. You’re ready despite your partnership hasn’t been tested
If you can’t answer this, then this means that your relationship has not been tested yet. All relationships will encounter situations that will test them. For some, it’s long-distance relationships; some will experience loss, or worse, even illness.
5. You’re marrying without bonding with each other’s family & friends
How well do you know your partner’s family and friends?
Okay, so you had the chance to meet and hang out with them a couple of times, but how well do you know them? Remember that your partner’s family and friends will also become a part of your married life.
6. You’re sure of marriage without engaging in meaningful conversations
Do you engage in deep, meaningful conversations?
We all know thatcommunication is one of the fundamentals of a lasting marriage, right?
10. You try to open the topic about marriage and settling down
Do you always try to open the topic about settling down?
If you find yourself asking your partner about your dream home, where you will live after you have settled down, or even how many kids you want, these are things that often lead to marriage.
How long do rushed marriages last?
We have to understand that every marriage is different.
While it’s true that there are rushed marriages that do work, it’s still best if you don’t rush your relationship because there are many dangers of rushing into marriage, and this often leads to a toxic relationship or may lead to divorce.
Ultimately, marriage will work if both of you are matured and ready in many ways, but what happens when you rush into marriage?
10 Reasons why you shouldn’t rush into marriage
If you feel that rushing into marriage is not right and yet can’t find the reason why you shouldn’t, let’s delve deeper into why you shouldn’t rush into marriage.
1. It’s a desperate move
Are you rushing into marriage because you are scared that you’d be all alone? What about being left behind by all of your friends?
These types of reasons just show that you are already desperate to get married, even if you don’t know your partner that well. You might think that it’s better than nothing, but is it a wise decision?
Don’t let social pressure or your desperation blind you into making a huge mistake.
Marriage and starting your own family don’t come cheap.
You need to know if you and your partner are both capable of raising a family. Marriage is not playing house. You will need to take responsibility for every decision you make as a couple, and being financially independent is one of them.
You and your partner should already be financially stable before you decide to tie the knot.
3. You might scare your partner away
You may want to get married soon, but what about your significant other? What if your partner is unsure about getting married?
Being too aggressive and rushing into marriage isn’t going to make your partner fall in love with you even more. Worse, your partner might change their mind about your relationship.
Deciding to get married is one of the most beautiful memories that you will have in your life. Rushing into marriage will not give you this happiness.
What would you do if you found out that your partner has a really bad habit?
Fact is, it will take more than a year to get to know the person you are dating. So, imagine tying the knot even before you learn how your partner lives?
What would you do if you discover that your partner doesn’t know how to close the toilet seat?
Other than those shocking discoveries, learning that you are incompatible is one of the dangers of rushing into marriage.
Don’t rush marriage. Take time to know the person you love. Enjoy the process of being in love and allow your feelings for each other to lead you to marriage.
5. You don’t know your partner’s family that well yet
How much do you know about your future in-laws?
Sure, you may have spent holidays with them, but how much do you know them and their relationship with your significant other?
This is very important because whether you like it or not, your partner’s family will become your family too, and they will influence how you live your life as a married couple.
It would be hard to know that your in-laws always have a say in every decision that you have as a married couple. This could lead to misunderstandings between you and your new family.
Allow yourself to take time to get to know your partner’s family and friends. At least, you will have the time you need to get to know the family that you will eventually ‘marry.’
6. Marriage will not save your love
You love your significant other, but you always disagree and fight. You’re afraid that you will soon break up.
Do you believe that by getting married, you will save your relationship?
If so, then that’s one of the wrong reasons to get married.
Instead of fixing the relationship, you might find yourself trapped in a loveless marriage, which may lead to more misunderstandings and even divorce.
Get married because you are in love and ready, not because you want to save your relationship.
7. You’re insecurity won’t go away
Do you think marriage can give you the security that you are looking for?
If you want to tie the knot with the person you love so you would feel secure, then you might end up being disappointed.
Insecurity won’t go away by marrying someone. If you are jealous before you get married, it will still be the same, even worse, once you’re married.
To feel complete, you need to realize that self-worth and self-love are important. You cannot love someone if you don’t know how to love yourself first.
8. Divorce is not a joke
Getting married is more than just a fancy wedding.
Life is not a fairy tale that will give you a happily-ever-after. Even after you get married, you will have trials that will test how strong you are as a couple.
If you realize that your marriage is not working out, the only solution is to get divorced. We all know that getting a divorce is costly and is a long tiring process. Most divorce cases are messy and stressful, and sadly, your kids will suffer the most.
Learn how to not rush into marriage because this is not something that you can take back easily. Save your heart and your children from this heartbreak.
9. You’ll miss out on dating
If you skip the dating process and start rushing into marriage, you’ll just wake up one day and realize how much you have missed.
Dating is very important; you get to enjoy life and love. Getting married also means you need to be more mature and be able to take in more responsibilities in life.
Don’t skip the dating process. It’s one of the most fun parts of falling in love!
It’s when you get to know each other, enjoy each other’s company, and fall in love even more.
10. Marriage is a lifetime commitment
Marriage is a very serious matter. Anyone can decide to tie the knot, but not everyone can make it last. It’s a promise that you will love, respect, and work together as one. `
Marriage is a lifetime commitment. You need to be ready and sure about your decision.
Once you realize that you are indeed rushing into marriage, what should you do next?
Remind yourself of the things that truly matter. Allow yourself to enjoy the moment and let go of the pressure that you need to get married as soon as possible.
There is no formula for a successful marriage, but there are things that you can consider first before you decide to take a step further in your relationship.
Here’s a video that will help you figure out when you are ready for marriage:
Remember rushing into marriage may only lead to disappointments and divorce. Marriage is a decision that will last a lifetime, so enjoy the process, take your time to get to know each other, and enjoy being in love.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.