Most people fall under certain patterns when choosing relationships, and they might not even realize it. A relationship pattern is simply repeating the same behaviors over and over again each time a new person comes into your life. Sometimes these patterns are unhealthy and detrimental to the success of future relationships, so it is probably a good idea to get a sense of what patterns you fall under in your relationships. So what is your relationship pattern? Even though we like to believe that love at first sight exists, we also have a pattern we fall under when choosing who to get into a relationship with, how we interact with that person, and how we let that person treat us. Take this quiz to find out your relationship pattern.
1. If you asked your friends the role you play in your relationships with them, what would they say?
A. You are always the one trying to make your friends better and helping to inspire them
B. You are always the one in charge of making plans
C. You are always making sure everyone is taken care of, sort of like the mom or dad of the group
D. You are supportive of everything they do
2. Did you ever feel like the person you were dating was more like your child than your partner?
C. Yes, always
3. If your friends could pick one negative thing about you, what would they say?
A. You are always doing for others and don’t expect the same in return
B. You are bossy/always in charge
C. You are critical of their poor decisions/bad behavior
D. You are jealous at times
4. What would you say was your role in your past relationships?
A. The fixer
B. The decision-maker
C. The mother/father
D. The pleaser
5. Why would you say your last relationship failed?
A. They said I was always trying to make them change, and they didn’t want to change.
B. They said I was too controlling.
C. They felt I was constantly nagging them and treating them like a child.
D. I think we both just needed space from each other. We jumped into things way too fast and had no lives outside of each other.
6. What were the good things about your past relationships that your partner enjoyed about you?
A. I always supported them and tried to make them a better person
B. I was always trying to make it work and putting in 100%
C. I always made sure they had everything they needed and took care of them
D. I gave up so much to be with them and would have done anything to make it work
7. Do you feel more comfortable having control in a relationship?
A. Not really
B. Yes, always
C. The majority of the time
8. Do you tend to end up with partners you have to “fix”?
9. Do you tend to take a long time to get comfortable with a person?
D. No, not at all
10. Have you ever lost contact with your friends/family for periods because of a relationship you were in?