While there are many components to a successful marriage, parenting and family dynamics can sometimes cause particular stress on marital happiness. Indeed, nurturing your marriage when the rigors of child rearing are involved can save your marriage when the rains come, and can mean the difference between marriage and divorce. How do you handle the ups and downs of parenting, marriage, work, self-care and the like? In a word, taking lots of breaths. Creating space for you and yours to heal. This important process requires insight, of course, a willingness to see what you may be unwilling to see or are not ready to see.
Importance of taking care of yourself
Yes, every relationship, every child-parent relationship, and every human being needs to take breaths, that is, make space in the midst of all the busyness to rest, read, regroup, and renew. If you are trying to balance the often conflicting currents of parenting and marriage, this may necessitate reprioritizing some things. If you are not taking care of yourself spiritually, emotionally, and physically, how can you expect to contribute in a life-giving way to marriage and the health of the children? Take a good look at your children. Are they acting-out, faltering in school, or withdrawing from typical patterns and interests? These types of changes in your children serve as mirror to your own health, and potentially the health of the marital relationship.
Engage in counseling
Further, recognize that your partner may be dealing with the same malaise that continues to weigh upon you and your family. Inasmuch, it is always a good idea to engage in hearty counseling before tattering situations deepen. Visit a counselor who understands the dynamics of parenting and nurturing the marital relationship. Reinvest in the marriage through dating, conversation, and mutual engagement in shared interests. Be willing to be honest about your emotional heaviness, and your desire to regroup and retool before things really begin to deteriorate. If there have been rough exchanges in the relationship, hard feelings, and wrongs, be willing to forgive, confess, atone, and accept forgiveness… Whatever it takes to get your life and the lives of those around you back on track.