Do you find yourself asking, “when will I get married?” But before you seek an answer to this question, you need to look within yourself and within the periphery of your relationship and answer the more pertinent question – are you getting ready for marriage?
But first, what is the difference between a wedding and a marriage?
A wedding is a chance to be a celebrity for the day, to bask in the glow of adoring onlookers, not to mention an opportunity to host an enormous party. Long after the flowers have wilted and your dress is covered in dust, though, you’ll have to live with the realities of married life.
How to know if you are ready for marriage
Though marriage can enrich your life, it can also be a source of immense pain if you marry the wrong person or aren’t ready for a commitment.
A getting-ready-for-marriage checklist can be really helpful in answering the question, how do you know if you want to marry someone?
- Deciding to get married. Make sure you are self-assured, and not dependent on a partner to complete you.
- How to know if you want to marry someone? Your friends and family are also championing your relationship and your partner, with no red flags.
- You and your significant other operate as a team and look at creative solutions to resolve issues amicably.
- You have the ability to apologize to your partner when you make a mistake. That’s how to know if you’re ready for marriage.
- You both don’t throw ultimatums to leave each other, just to avoid confrontations or discussions.
- If your relationship is drama-free, it best answers if you are ready for marriage.
- If you are getting married soon, and you share strong financial compatibility, then it is one of the signs you’re ready for marriage.
- Getting ready for marriage? Make sure you have reached a stage where you don’t set booby traps for each other out of deep-seated insecurities. For example, ” Why didn’t you leave me a message this morning?”, “Why don’t you share your phone and laptop passwords with me if you really love me?”
Before you get married, you need to find the right reasons to get married and ask yourself these five key questions.
1. Am I independent?
The first question that getting ready for marriage entails is asking yourself if you are financially independent.
How to know when to get married?
It is advisable to strive for financial independence while getting ready for marriage.
Self-reliance ensures a smooth transition from single life to married life and a better marriage financial compatibility.
Especially for very young people, marriage signifies the transition to adulthood. If you’re not already an independent adult your transition to wedded bliss can be a bumpy one.
Before you tie the knot, you need to be financially independent—or well on your road to independence.
It’s also a terrible idea to get married because you don’t want to be alone. Desperation plays no role in the recipe for a happy marriage, so if marriage is nothing but a way to make it harder for your partner to leave, then you’re not even close to ready.
2. Is this a healthy relationship?
Your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect before you get married, but it should be stable and reasonably healthy. Some signs that you’re trapped in an unhealthy relationship include:
- A partner who verbally or physically assaults you
- A history of dishonesty or infidelity that has not yet been resolved
- History of untreated mental illness or substance abuse
- Serious doubts about your partner’s lifestyle or whether you can live together
Marriage is about more than just romance.
Marriage is a partnership, and that means sharing finances, goals, child-rearing styles, and life outlooks.
You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do have to have similar dreams for the future.
Some issues you absolutely must discuss prior to getting married include:
- Whether and when to have children, and how you intend to raise those children
- Your religious and ethical values
- Your career goals, including whether one of you would like to stay home with your children
- How you’ll divvy up household labor such as cleaning, cooking, and cutting the grass
- How you want to resolve conflicts
- How much time you’ll spend with one another, with friends, and with family
- Whether you’ll attend regular church services, volunteer activities, or other recurring rituals
4. Do we nurture intimacy?
A good marriage is built on a strong foundation of trust and openness.
Many young couples think intimacy refers to sex, but intimacy is more than just sex it also includes emotional closeness. If you’re not ready for this kind of closeness, you’re not ready to get married. Some signs that you have not done enough work on intimacy include:
- Being unable to discuss certain topics with your partner
- Thinking some information, such as details about your health, is too “gross” or intimate for your partner
- Keeping secrets from one another
- Not talking about your day
- Not knowing key details about one another’s lives
5. Why do I want to get married?
A marriage is forever. It’s not a big party followed by “trying” to stay together.
If you’re not certain you can stick with this person for better or for worse, no matter what, then you’re not ready to get married. Marriage is inherently challenging, and if your response to every conflict is to walk away, or if you believe some behaviors should result in an automatic divorce, then marriage isn’t for you.
You will face challenges in your marriage, and if you can’t rise above them, you’ll be little more than another divorce statistic.
Getting ready for marriage also entails smoothing any creases that may make you question later, why did you get married. Hopefully, the insights in the article will help you answer the question, are you ready to get married.
Are you ready for marriage? Take Quiz
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.