13 Practical Ways to Deal With Mood Swings in Relationships

Mood swings can be tricky in any relationship… One moment, everything feels peaceful, and the next, emotions are running high.

It’s not unusual to experience these ups and downs, but it can feel overwhelming at times, right?

Whether it’s stress, hormonal changes, or just life being unpredictable, mood swings in relationships can affect both partners in ways that may be hard to express. The frustration, confusion, and even the guilt that comes along with these moments are real.

But remember—every relationship faces its own set of challenges. The key is finding gentle, thoughtful ways to handle those emotional waves together.

Is it normal to have mood swings in relationships?

Relationships bring together two unique individuals, each with their own emotions, stressors, and experiences. Sometimes, those emotions can shift unexpectedly… leading to moments of frustration or confusion.

Have you ever felt fine one minute, and then something small suddenly threw you off balance?

It happens! The truth is that mood swings are a part of life, and when you’re close to someone, those shifts can become more noticeable. But don’t worry—these moments don’t mean something is wrong.

So, if you’re wondering, “Are mood swings normal?” the answer is yes, they absolutely are!

5 potential causes of mood swings

Mood swings can leave you feeling confused or even frustrated at times, especially when you don’t know what’s triggering them. However, understanding what causes mood swings can help you make sense of these emotional shifts.

So, why do I have mood swings, you might ask?

Let’s explore a few common causes that could shed some light on what mood swings are and why they happen.

1. Stress and overwhelm

When life becomes overwhelming, stress can take a toll on your emotions. Whether it’s work pressure, personal issues, or just the daily grind, stress can build up and lead to sudden mood changes.

Feeling trapped or unable to handle everything at once can cause frustration… and that’s when mood swings can hit hardest!

2. Hormonal changes

Hormonal fluctuations, particularly during periods, pregnancy, or menopause, can significantly affect your mood. These changes in your body can make you feel more sensitive to everyday situations.

You might suddenly go from feeling fine to irritated or sad without any clear reason, leaving you wondering, “Why do I have mood swings all of a sudden?”

3. Lack of sleep

When you’re not getting enough rest, it’s easier to become emotionally reactive. Exhaustion can make small things feel overwhelming, leading to sudden mood swings.

According to Emily Pray, LCSW, “A severe lack of sleep can contribute to a significant crisis for some people, and should be taken seriously right away.”

Sleep deprivation affects your brain’s ability to regulate emotions, making it hard to stay calm or grounded in difficult situations.

4. Diet and nutrition

Believe it or not, your diet can influence how you feel! When you’re not eating well or skipping meals, blood sugar levels can drop, causing irritability or moodiness.

The foods you consume can either support stable energy and mood or contribute to emotional highs and lows.

5. Mental health concerns

Sometimes, mood swings are linked to mental health conditions like anxiety or depression. These conditions can cause emotional ups and downs that may feel out of control.

If you’re asking yourself what causes mood swings, it could be helpful to consider your mental health and how you’re feeling on a deeper level.

What do mood swings feel like?

Mood swings can feel like an emotional rollercoaster… One minute, you’re feeling great, and the next, you’re hit with a wave of frustration, sadness, or irritability. It can be confusing, especially when these shifts seem to come out of nowhere!

Sometimes, it feels like you’re not in control of your own feelings, and that can be overwhelming. You might notice your energy changes, too, going from motivated to drained in a flash.

These ups and downs can leave you wondering, why am I feeling this way?

But remember, it’s completely normal to experience mood swings from time to time—everyone has those moments!

What is the difference in mood swings between men and women?

Mood swings can affect everyone, but men and women might experience them differently due to a variety of factors.

While both genders deal with emotional ups and downs, hormonal changes, life events, and even social expectations can create unique patterns. Understanding these differences can help foster empathy and patience in relationships.

How mood swings affect relationships: 7 ways

Mood swings can have a significant impact on relationships, as they can affect communication, emotional connection, and overall dynamics between individuals.

Here are 7 ways in which mood swings can influence relationships:

1. Communication breakdown

Mood swings can lead to difficulties in effective communication. 

When one person is experiencing intense mood swings, they might struggle to express themselves clearly or listen to the other person’s perspective.

This breakdown in communication can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and conflict within the relationship.

2. Emotional distance

If mood swings are frequent and severe, they can create emotional distance between partners or individuals in a relationship.

Emily Pray highlights, “Healthy relationships require a certain level of consistency.  If someone feels safe one minute and then is blindsided the next, this can make the relationship tenuous and feel unsafe.”

The person experiencing mood swings might withdraw or isolate themselves, making it challenging for their partner or loved ones to provide support.

3. Lack of predictability

Mood swings can make it difficult for others to predict how someone will react or behave in a given situation.

This lack of predictability can lead to a sense of unease and uncertainty within the relationship, as others may not know how to respond appropriately.

4. Strain on patience

Frequent and intense mood swings can test the patience of partners, friends, and family members.

The constant need to manage these mood shifts can be emotionally draining and lead to feelings of frustration or resentment.

5. Impact on emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy requires a level of vulnerability and shared emotional experiences. Being in a relationship with a moody person can disrupt this in a significant way. 

Mood swings can disrupt this intimacy, as the person experiencing the mood swings might struggle to open up about their feelings or might push others away due to their emotional state.

6. Increased tension and arguments

Mood swings can create tension in a relationship, often leading to more frequent arguments. When emotions shift suddenly, misunderstandings can escalate into conflicts.

The person experiencing the mood swings might react more intensely to small issues, causing unnecessary arguments and leaving both partners feeling frustrated or hurt.

7. Reduced trust and security

Constant mood swings can make a relationship feel unstable. When one partner feels they are constantly walking on eggshells, unsure of how the other will react, it can erode feelings of trust and security.

Over time, this lack of emotional stability may weaken the foundation of the relationship, causing doubt and uncertainty.

13 tips to deal with mood swings in a relationship

Mood swings in relationships can lead both partners to become unhappy, so it is essential to learn how to deal with mood swings in a relationship.

If your partner’s moodiness has become a problem, consider the following 13 coping strategies:

1. Talk to them

Have a conversation with your partner about how the mood swings affect you. Maybe your partner is unaware of their rapidly shifting moods and how they harm you.

Sit down and have a discussion, but remain calm and non-confrontational. Give your partner specific examples of their mood swings.

For instance, you may state, “In the mornings, you are usually cheerful, but sometimes, with no warning, you become outraged, and I feel as if I am to blame, which makes me anxious for the rest of the day.” 

Approach the topic openly and honestly, and give your partner a chance to talk about what might be causing their moodiness.

2. Validate their feelings

Validate their emotions by acknowledging that what they’re feeling is real and understandable, even if you don’t fully grasp the cause.

Validating shows empathy and helps create a safe space for them to express themselves. This can strengthen trust and communication in the relationship, encouraging a supportive environment even during challenging moments.

3. Remain empathetic and understanding

It can be helpful to approach the topic of relationship mood swings by coming from a place of care and concern. Express to your partner that you are worried for them because of their sadness and irritability. 

Ask what might be going on and whether there is something you can do to help. Truly listen to their response and try to be understanding of their situation.

4. Offer to help

If your partner’s mood swings are due to stress or a problem in the family, offer your help. If they work exceptionally long hours and don’t have time for themselves, you may help by taking on extra responsibilities at home. 

Ask what you can do to relieve some of their stress. Sometimes, having someone step in and lessen the load can reduce the tension that leads to severe mood swings. 

5. Learn how to control mood swings naturally

If mood swings occur in the context of a mental health problem like anxiety, there are ways to help your partner naturally control the moodiness. 

For example, if mood swings are due to a mental health condition, getting some physical exercise may be beneficial. Taking an evening walk with your partner or trying a new exercise class together may be a way of dealing with mood swings.

6. Don’t take it personally

We are all responsible for our behavior, so remember that it is not your fault if your partner is moody and takes their anger or irritability out on you. 

Emily Pray mentions, “Set clear emotional boundaries and remember that while there might be an explanation for certain behaviors, that doesn’t qualify as an excuse for those actions. Part of mutual respect includes accountability.”

If your partner has a mental health condition like depression, it can be helpful to remind yourself that the mood swings are because of this condition and not because of any flaws on your part. 

7. Learn your partner’s triggers

If your partner is moody in response to specific stressors, such as financial difficulties, you may begin to pick up on this and take steps to avoid creating additional tension. 

For instance, you may learn that your partner needs alone time at the end of the month when bills come due, or you may notice that your partner is irritable soon after coming home from work and needs time to unwind.

When you notice these patterns, you may learn that it is best not to ask your partner to do a chore or give them bad news at certain times.

8. Control your own emotions

It can be difficult not to become angry or upset when your partner takes out their mood swings on you, but becoming emotional and lashing out will probably only worsen the situation. 

Learning how not to let your partner’s mood affect you cannot be overstated. It can help you handle the situation more positively and build resilience. 

Keep in mind that you can only control your behavior and manage your anger. When your partner is moody, take a deep breath and try to remain calm, as becoming moody yourself will likely only worsen your partner’s mood. 

9. Listen to your partner

Actively listening means giving your full attention to what your partner is saying without interrupting or judging. When learning how to deal with a moody partner, active listening allows you to understand their feelings and perspectives, showing them that you care and value their emotions.

By validating their feelings through attentive listening, you create a supportive environment that can help alleviate the impact of their mood swings on your relationship.

10. Confide in a friend

Social support is essential, and if you are dealing with guilt or anxiety surrounding your partner’s mood swings, confiding in a trusted friend can be helpful.

Talk to them about what you are experiencing and how you are feeling. If they have been through a similar situation, they may be able to offer advice. If not, having someone listen to you can relieve some of the stress surrounding mood swings in your relationship.

11. Practice and encourage self-care

Living with a partner with severe mood swings can take its toll on you, so it is essential to take care of yourself. Take time to do things you enjoy, such as reading your favorite book, riding a bike, or enjoying a relaxing afternoon at the pool.

It can be exhausting to cope with relationship mood problems, but practicing self-care can rejuvenate you to be more prepared to be the best version of yourself for your partner. 

Also, encourage your partner’s self-care during mood swings. Suggest activities they enjoy, like walking or reading, to reduce stress and enhance their mood.

Self-care promotes emotional well-being, offering a constructive way for them to manage their emotions and encouraging a sense of support in the relationship.

Watch this video where psychologist Jordan B Peterson explains the boundaries between selfishness and self-care:

12. Take some time away from your partner

It is normal and healthy to have time apart from your partner in a long-term relationship.

To distance yourself from mood swings, be sure to pursue your hobbies and friendships and spend time doing things you enjoy, even if your partner isn’t always along for the ride.

13. Get professional help

Seeking professional help if mood swings are frequent, severe, or distressing. Professional intervention, such as therapy or counseling, can provide effective strategies for managing emotions and enhancing coping skills.

It’s a proactive step towards improving emotional well-being and maintaining a healthier relationship dynamic.

In a nutshell

Dealing with mood swings in relationships can feel challenging at times, but with patience and understanding, it’s possible to manage them together. Remember, everyone experiences emotional ups and downs—what matters most is how you and your partner handle these moments.

By practicing open communication, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-care, you can create a more stable and supportive environment.

Wondering how to stop mood swings entirely?

While it’s difficult to eliminate them completely, managing triggers and seeking help when needed can make a big difference. Above all, be kind to each other… it’s all part of the journey!

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Jennifer Schulz LCSW

Dr. Jenni Schulz is a licensed social worker with a master's degree in social work from The Ohio State University, and she earned her Doctorate of Philosophy in Psychology from National University. She has worked in the social work field for 14 years and is currently a professor at Ashland University.... Read more She writes website content about mental health, addiction, and fitness. Dr. Schulz is licensed as both a social worker through Ohio Board of Counselors, Social Workers, and Marriage/Family Therapists and a school social worker through Ohio Department of Education. She currently works primarily as a crisis therapist at her local hospital and jail, while engaging in mental health consulting virtually. Read less

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When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

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Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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