20 Signs a Guy is Unhappy in His Relationship

When a guy is happy in his relationship, you can easily tell because it would be obvious to everyone. Everything he does is centered on the fact that he loves his partner and would be willing to go to lengths to make his relationship work.

If a guy is unhappy in his relationship, he will also show it. Since many guys are used to keeping quiet about their feelings, they would rather communicate through actions, mannerisms, and sometimes, signs. In this article, you will learn some signs of a guy being unhappy in his relationship.

What is the meaning of being unhappy in a relationship?

When it comes to being unhappy with your relationship, you are not satisfied with the state of things in your relationship. In most cases, it might be from what your partner does. Other times, it might be due to external factors affecting how you relate to your partner.

To have a deeper insight into guys and unhappy relationships, read this study by Douglas A. Spiker and other authors that delves into unhappy relationships and perceptions of couple therapy.   

20 signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship

Many men are in an unhappy relationship, but they cannot say it out because they might be perceived as a sign of weakness. Therefore, they will prefer to do other things that distract them from the relationship.

Here are some signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship:

1. He spends excessive time on his devices

One of the ways to know an unhappy boyfriend is when he dedicates more time to his gadgets than his partner. He will use his phone or computer as an excuse to convey that he is busy. 

Whereas he might not be doing anything serious, he only wants to prevent her from talking to him. When a guy regularly does this when his partner is around, he is experiencing unhappiness in the relationship.

2. He does not show affection anymore

No matter how shy or reserved a guy is, if he is in love, he will always be affectionate no matter where he and his partner are. However, one of the signs of an unhappy relationship is when the guy stops showing affection to his partner even when he knows they are expecting it.

This is one of his ways of communicating that he is tired of the relationship and probably wants to leave or resolve things with you. You will observe that he will not put in an effort to keep the spark in the relationship alive.

In this research study by Dixie Meyer and other authors titled Depressive Symptoms as a Predictor of Men’s Relationship Satisfaction, you will learn the signs that a man is depressed in his relationship. 

3. He doesn’t like to spend much time with his partner

If you are in love with your partner and are happy with them, you will love spending much time with them, even if it is to the detriment of your personal affairs. On the contrary, guys in miserable relationships prefer to spend a short time with their partners because they are unhappy.

Such guys prefer to stay on their own or be around friends because their partner does not bring happiness. Therefore, he will look for opportunities to be out of their sight.

4. He feels sad and depressed with his partner

Another way to observe the signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship is when he looks lost and discouraged with his partner. You will notice no smile on his face even when the atmosphere is lit and jovial. 

At such moments, he might be reflecting on the state of the relationship, which has not been pleasant for some time. And he may want to leave his partner because he is not as happy as before.

5. He prioritizes other people before his partner

If you are searching for clear signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship, one of the ways to know is how he prioritizes people when his partner is involved. An unhappy guy will most likely consider other people before thinking of his partner. 

He knows that if he puts his partner first, the unhappiness might overwhelm him, and other important people in his life might suffer the brunt. Therefore, he will only consider his partner after prioritizing other people.

6. He tells his loved ones he is tired of the relationship

Not many men like to discuss their relationships with third parties because they see themselves as protectors who should shield their partners from public outrage.

However, one of the signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship is when he begins to tell his family and friends that he is tired of the relationship. This is when you know that he has reached his breaking point and cannot continue in the relationship.

Related Reading: 15 Signs He’s Tired of You & How to Deal With It

7. He has mood swings

When it comes to the concept of mood swings, it is not regarded as something familiar to men. This is because many guys are known to bottle up their emotions irrespective of what they are going through.

However, when a man has several mood swings, even at the slightest provocation, he is unhappy in the relationship. You will easily find sadness and displeasure written all over his face.

Watch this video for practical steps on how to deal with mood swings:

8. He has a different plan from his partner’s

One of the ways to know when a guy is not happy in a relationship is when his plan is different from his partner’s. You will discover that most of their plans do not align, which is often because the guy no longer sees a future with his present partner. 

If he is unhappy in his relationship, he will not look forward to building any future with them.

9. He looks stressed

If you are looking for signs your partner is unhappy, you will notice that he looks stressed.

Although other aspects of his life might be stressing him, you will notice that the relationship stresses him out when he is with his partner. For men in happy relationships, their partner is always a beacon of hope and joy, even when they are highly stressed.

10. He avoids resolving conflicts with his partner

One of the clear signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship is when he avoids further conflicts because it would make him more unhappy. Hence, whenever he conflicts with his partner, he prefers to keep to himself because he doesn’t want to inflict more pain on himself. 

This is one of the ways to know that the relationship is unhealthy because the guy is unwilling to talk things out with his partner.

Related Reading: 15 Relationship Conflict Patterns & Common Causes

11. His family and friends do not like his partner

When we are in a relationship, the input of our loved ones can make or mar the union. One of the signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship is when his loved ones are not in support of his union. He might have tried convincing them to accept his partner, but their stance is rock-solid.

12. He doesn’t communicate with your family and friends any longer

If you are looking for one of the signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship, you will notice that he does not have time for your loved ones like before. 

He will try all means to avoid them because he doesn’t want to strengthen his connection with you. In addition, since he is unhappy in the relationship, he will prefer to cut ties with your family and friends.

13. He doesn’t show that he needs you for anything

Another way to know when a guy is unhappy in his relationship is when he clarifies to his partner that he doesn’t need them for anything. Even when he knows that they can be of help, he will refuse to inform them. 

Instead, he will prefer to look outside for help because he has probably lost interest in the relationship. Similarly, if their partner offers to help, they will dismiss their request by telling them they have it covered. 

14. He doesn’t put effort into making his partner happy

One of the signs a man is unhappy in his marriage is when he doesn’t strive to make his partner happy like before. You will notice that the man might pretend to be busy with other engagements.

However, he is trying to remain busy to have the perfect excuse for not trying to make his partner happy. Additionally, when he notices that his partner is trying their best to make him happy, he will not return the favor.

15. He doesn’t share his feelings and thoughts

Another way to know one of the signs he is not happy with his girlfriend is when he hesitates to share how he feels with his partner. When a man is happy in his relationship, he will always inform his partner what is going on in his life. 

If he has any ideas or thoughts, he will not be reluctant to share them with his partner. He knows that for the relationship to work, both parties must be aware of their thoughts.

16. He has not said “I love you” in a long time

If you want to know when a partner is unhappy, try to remember the last time they expressed their feelings. One of the ways to know when a guy is unhappy is if he has not said “I love you” in a long time. 

You might have said it to him recently, but you observed that he doesn’t say it in return.

It does not sound potent or authentic, even if he says it to you. This will inform you that he is not happy in the relationship, and saying “I love you” sounds like a burden.

Related Reading: 25 Clear Signs the Relationship Is Over for Him

17. He does not allow you to be intimate with him

Sometimes, if a man rejects intimacy in a relationship, it might be because he is tired or something else is stressing him. 

However, if you notice that he has prevented you from being intimate with him by all means, something is most likely wrong. It is possible that he is not happy in his relationship.

Hence, it feels burdensome to become intimate with his partner because his mind is not there. When a man is unhappy, it becomes an emotional struggle to achieve intimacy.

18. He does not care about his physical appearance anymore

When some guys are in love and happy in their relationship, one of their major priorities is to take care of their physical appearance. They will be concerned about their looks and mannerisms because they want to keep impressing their partner.

On the other hand, if they are unhappy in their relationship, every motivation to look physically good will die because their partner no longer thrills them like before.

19. He criticizes you every time

Most times, when a guy is happy in his relationship, he is likely to give more compliments than criticisms. The reason is that his partner is the center of his world. Hence, he will likely overlook his partner’s shortcomings because he believes they can still work on them.

However, if a guy is unhappy in his relationship, he will complain or criticize everything his partner does. It would be hard for him to be pleased because he is unhappy.

20. He stops making sacrifices

One of the signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship is when he is not open to making compromises and sacrifices for his partner. This means he is not interested in making the relationship work for reasons best known to him. 

You will notice that if you try to sacrifice for him, it gets him uninterested because he sees no reason for you to go beyond and over. 

What can you do when a guy is not happy with you?

Have you ever had thoughts like, “Why is my boyfriend not happy in my relationship?” You might never find out the answer to this until you discuss it with him. Hence, having an open and honest conversation with him about why he is unhappy with you is important. 

When you communicate with him, you will most likely understand why he is unhappy so that you can make amends.

Lowell Pearson’s book titled How to Keep a Man Happy is an eye-opener for partners who don’t know what to do when their partner is unhappy. This book will help you spice up your relationship and make him forever interested in you.  

The takeaway

After reading through this post, you now have a solid idea of the signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship. If you need help navigating this phase with your partner, you can seek help from a professional so that you will not make mistakes when relating with your partner. 

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Sylvia Smith Author

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less

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