Infidelity in a marriage can be very damaging to a relationship and often times, without therapy or counseling, the emotional and psychological damage can linger on. Infidelity is one of the leading causes for divorce today, because it represents such a huge departure from the original intentions of the partners. When a couple gets married, they say to the world that their intentions are to pursue a monogamous relationship with this one particular person. It is not surprising therefore, that the non-cheating partner will view infidelity as the ultimate breach of wedding vows.
When an affair erodes the trust and confidence in a marriage, it will take some work on the part of both persons in the relationship and through therapy to resolve the issue, heal the pain and save the marriage.
Let it all out
Therapy will allow each person to fully express how they feel about the affair; inclusive of the partner who commits the affair. The non-cheating partner will generally feel as though they are the victim and accordingly, their hurt and their pain is most relevant. Therapy will allow the partners to understand that both people are hurting and create an environment in which all feelings can be expressed freely and without judgment.
What went wrong?
This is properly one of the hardest questions to answer in certain situations, while in others each partner might have a different idea of what went wrong. Therapy will help to explore this question of what went wrong and while it will not offer justification, it presents an opportunity for all to understand what led to the affair. Once again, each partner in therapy will be able to express their own opinion and the therapist will help in this process.
Understanding the emotional dynamics
There is a great deal of emotional issues at play after an affair. The emotional dynamics includes how one partner was feeling in the marriage that led to them cheating, and also how one partner now feels after finding out about the affair. Alone, it would be difficult for a couple to navigate through the emotional and psychological dynamics in a way that would seek to heal and mend. Accordingly, therapy is needed and the earlier the better; so as not to deepen or further the emotional hurt.
Recovering from the affair
Without therapy, some couples might push it all under the carpet and never really deal with the issues. There is no doubt, that this method is a recipe for disaster. Therapy with a trained therapist will create an environment in which you and your spouse can work through the issues and will also give you the necessary tools you will need to rebuild your trust, confidence and intimacy.
Not all marriages survive an affair and an affair is not always the end of a marriage. Once the foundation of love remains and the parties are willing to do the work, therapy can help to repair the damage that an affair can have on a marriage.